Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


40 Oakland, CA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 30–50
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 4:59am
5′ 5″ (1.65m)
Body Type
A little extra
Graduated from university
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Has cats
English (Fluently), Russian (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Born in Ohia, I've lived in every state on the West coast. Yes, I have a favorite.

I'm in an open relationship with my wonderful partner iamthebestcoast. We're polyamorous and have been together for over a decade. Sorry to all the haters but we've been open and happy for years, it must suck to be so bitter and monogamous but that seems to go hand in hand. Everyone seems to have their own definition of what poly is, and honestly mine is always evolving. However, I draw the line at using poly as an excuse to fuck around.

I'm the opposite of poly-saturated, in fact I'm not even sure I know what that means.

I'm INFJ according to those who care about such things.

My partner and I have our own lives and our own relationships. I believe in open and honest communication and for my own safety require the same.

I'm looking for more then a simple prop to occupy my time.

I got more out of Redefining Our Relationships: Guidelines For Responsible Open Relationships by Wendy-O Matik then I did out of Sex at Dawn, but if you're looking for answers regarding open relationships and poly then you might want to check it out instead of asking me. Good luck in this game of pricks.

So it goes :
From •
To •
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Working through the holidays / Writing and rewriting / Photographing like a fool / Loving life in the Bay
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I get paid to take photos and put words in catalogs and on websites. I can get lost with or without the assistance of my cell phone. Sometimes I rebuild computers and fix broken guitars, leaky sinks, myself.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
This question is milquetoast but folks who've had actual success with this site suggested that I try to pull my cynicism to the curb and participate.

January 2015:

Periodicals: The Paris Review / ZYZZYVA / The American Poetry Review

Poesie: Louise Glück / Carolyn Forché / Robert Creeley

Film: Robert Altman / Wim Wenders / Miranda July

Stories: Jeffrey Eugenides / Richard Ford / Milan Kundera

Muzak: Sonny Rollins / Lou Reed / Kim Gordon

Pictures: William Eggleston / Shizu Saldamando / Gerhard Richter

Brain-rot: Looking / Girls / Broad City

Philosophize: Jean Baudrillard / Judith Butler / Friedrich Nietzsche

Escape: Joaquin Miller Park / Point Reyes / The Gardens at Lake Merritt
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
The way the sunlight illuminates the graffitied buildings on my morning BART ride on my way to Fruitvale. The inspiration is limitless.

Real Coffee.

A book to read, to ignore, to guilt myself over for not reading, to beat myself up with for reading when clearly there were better choices.

Watching people with their friends and lovers, I spend the majority of my time alone and seeing people interacting
with others always gives me hope. Back east we call it flowers in the snow, it made sense to folks in Seattle but around here it's completely lost in translation. I'm sure there's a word for it in German.

The Pacific ocean.

My Howl bag from City Lights. It's filled with everything needed for a day trip around the bay, pen and paper, brandy,
sunglasses, wine opener and map.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
poetics, photography, whether BART will be on time, why this profile is looked at by so many men...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Eventually sleeping.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
It's a free(ish) country so I don't know what's holding you back.

That being said I'd prefer if you didn't message me if you are looking for someone to be your poly training wheels or if you're really into patriarchy.