33 San Francisco, CA
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Updated 17 Feb 2015

Based on other people's profiles, I have a tremendous amount of text here. I urge you to read the results of my cacoethes scribendi.
To attempt to synopsize, I'm a 33 year-old with a passion for words and education. I have an affinity for electronics. I am also very enthusiastic and open about sex. I love music, and usually have some playing whenever possible.

I have a lovable ball of black and white fur with boundless energy and a taste for feathers. Her name is Trixie - short for "venatrix," which is Latin for "huntress" - and she is the cutest kitten on the entire planet.

The more I watch her around other people, the more I realize that I am her human, as much as she is my cat. She deigns demand food from others or stand still for one or two pets. For me, she sits on my shoulders and purrs. She snuggles up near me in bed at night and follows me around during the day. She mewls piteously when I leave in the morning and greets me at the door when I return home. Truly, our meeting was fortuitous, and my life would be poorer without her.

A more in-depth description of various facets of my personality:

I am a writer. I think in words, and am fairly skilled in their use, written or spoken, to communicate ideas. I write various types of short fiction and essay. I post most of my writing to my personal website. In keeping with my love of words, I have a bit of a lexical fascination: I love obscure words, long words, and strange words.

I used to be libertarian, but then I grew out of my college-freshman arrogance and greed. I used to be a strong laissez-faire capitalist until I realized that the American deification of capitalism is not beneficial, nor fair. I consider myself a social liberal and progressive, favoring social capitalism as an economic policy. Fiduciary duties and duties of care do not go together in systemic providers such as health care and education.

I was, and am, ignostic. I feel that the impossible question of God's existence is preceded by an equally impossible question of God's identity. However, these questions notwithstanding, I consider myself atheist.

I'm a feminist. Humans are humans, and should be treated like humans, regardless of gender identity, biological sex, sexual orientation, etc. Rape culture sucks. Patriarchy sucks. If you don't think so, you're either massively misinformed or entirely too un-empathetic to bother trying to get along with.

I am a rabid empiricist. Rational thought and the scientific method has advanced human endeavor in nearly innumerable ways. I am an enthusiastic naturalist, and identify as a Bright.

Philosophically, I am a physicalist, a naturalist, a monist, and a realist.

I am quite dominant, though I'm not particularly rude or domineering about getting my way in everyday social interactions. I'm moderately sadistic, though that doesn't always come out in play. Much like my sexual orientation, this is flexible in the right circumstances, or with the right person.

I'm extremely exhibitionist. I love to be watched, whether I'm being sexual, doing daily activities, or even sound asleep.

I used to be polyamorous, then I was a swinger, but now I'm a relationship anarchist. I know I've spent a lot of time searching for a partner.

I have struggled with identifying myself relationship-wise, as the implications of swinger and polyamorous both turn me off. Luckily, hot_cellist turned me on to relationship anarchy, which perfectly describes the way I've always wanted to do relationships. So yes, that's me.

When I love, I love completely. I overlook flaws or personality incompatibilities, no matter how egregious. Once I have fallen in love with someone, I do not stop loving them, ever. I could name every woman I have truly loved, and still say with perfect honesty that I love them.

I am a highly sexual person. I've had numerous partners, and pretty much every fantasy I can realistically expect to fulfill, I've fulfilled. Curiously enough, this has resulted in a very laid-back attitude towards sex, in general. If it happens, I enjoy it immensely, but I'm not obsessed with ever more of it. My greatest arousal comes from giving pleasure; the sound of my partner losing themselves to the pleasure (or pain, depending) I give them is the biggest sexual rush I have.

I'm heteroflexible. I considered identifying as queer, but there are many political ramifications to that label that I'm unhappy with, and the minefield of identity politics simply doesn't interest me.

I've experimented with body-shaping in several ways: dietary, weightlifting, swimming, and others. Now that I'm employed full-time, I've cut back on the working out, but still find time to exercise and stretch daily, as well as carefully monitoring diet and function. There's nothing unintellectual about maintaining one's body in peak condition. The mind is an emergent property of the physical, and there are feedback loops between mind control and body control.

I am myopic and esophoric, meaning I can not function effectively without my glasses.

I am transhumanist. Having mitigated natural selection's influence on our species to nearly zero, we must now replace it with our own actions if we wish to advance. Feel free to ask me about it.

I am passionate and informed about the growing global energy crisis. Fossil fuel production is peaking, but renewable sources of energy are not being implemented in sufficient quantities or at sufficient speeds to meet current demand for energy, let alone the rapidly growing hunger we currently exhibit. The future of technological civilization is at risk, and no one seems willing to discuss it. Global climate change is obviously a huge part of this. Ask me more.

I am likewise very passionate about intellectual property law. Copyright and patents are broken in fundamental (though different) ways in our legal system, and it stifles innovation and art in ways both subtle and gross. I support movements like copyleft and open-source. I donate to the EFF. And yes, I use linux wherever possible. Ask me more.

I believe strongly that humanity's future belongs among the stars. Freeing ourselves from the finite surface of our island home, Terra, will simply and elegantly solve many of the problems we face, most of which stem from limited resources, space, and an ever-increasing population. Colonization near-Terran space is not going to be done easily, but the main problems are those of will, not scientific, technological, nor logistical. Ask me about it, please. A good start if you're interested, but not talkative would be Gerard K. O'Neill's 1976 book on the subject, The High Frontier

Even if you don't want to read about that, you must be able to appreciate the beauty of the Blue Marble, the Pale Blue Dot, and Earthrise. I find that I simply can't get along well with people who don't look up, or don't understand looking from above.

I understand generative grammars.

I do not really like riddles. They generally revolve around hiding one or more crucial pieces of information by either leaving it out completely or using obtuse language, and are thus fairly boring. A good problem, on the other hand, can captivate me for hours. Examples of those include the Hundred Prisoner Problem and the Green-Eyed Guru. Ask me more, or propose another problem.

My sense of humor trends toward sarcasm: very dry, cynical, and snarky.

I have a fairly good memory for conversations; I can often repeat conversations nearly verbatim from weeks or months ago. However, I am absolutely terrible at matching faces with names at first. I attach names as signifiers to personalities, not to appearances. Until I get to know you, I will forget your name. Frequently. Sorry.

I love Diet Coke.

I value honesty and bravery highly, and correspondingly, I despise deceit and cowardice. If you want to impress me, stand up for your principles, keep your promises, and tell hard truths. If you habitually dissemble or equivocate, I'm really not interested.

Above all, I believe that happiness is something you make, not something you have. Despite the hurts I have been given, earned or unearned, I make an effort every minute of every day to be happy.

I am sardonic, concupiscent, and callipygian.
What I’m doing with my life
I graduated from CSU: East Bay with a Bachelor's Degree in English, specializing in Language and Discourse, and earned a Master's degree from SFSU's Composition program. I'm currently teaching college English as an adjunct, and I love it. It's everything I wanted it to be, and more. So that's my day job.

I've worked at 2K Games working in marketing, and also got a taste of producing there as well. It was a blast, and I met some truly awesome people there, and worked on some excellent games. I've also worked in dead-tree publishing, as well, at Weldon Owen, in downtown SF. I was a fact-checker, editor, and research monkey. My ability to cite credible sources is worth a substantial amount per hour, it would seem.

Two things I love to do are writing and teaching. Since I seem to possess a skill for both, in addition to the desire, this has led me to think that's what I should do with my life. I believe that every human has the capability to communicate clearly and effectively, but that capacity goes largely untapped in most. I aim to do what I can to make sure that every student who passes through my classroom can be a competent communicator.

As a general rule, I choose not to nitpick over grammatical errors in others' profiles or casual communication. If it is comprehensible, that is enough for me, by and large. On the other hand, I find logical fallacies and disingenuous argumentation extremely annoying.

On the weekends, I am one of the hosts for Pink!, at Mission Control, I also work at Kinky Salon, and I also host the BDSM room at Club Kiss, meaning I both teach and demonstrate to those interested in trying out new kinky activities. I house manage Essence and Threshold. The more I get involved with the Mission Control community, the more I love it. Come sniff the magic.

I am also available to do private sessions with couples interested in expanding their kinky horizons: I can be scheduled for teaching, counseling, and demonstration sessions. E-mail me for more info.
I’m really good at
Writing, sex, sarcastic wit, teaching, gaming, programming, tinkering with electronics, backrubs, martial arts, photography, debate, math, physics, choking, and biting.

I'm a tinker; my impulse when I see some new device or tool is to wonder if I can make it myself, then try. I usually succeed, so I guess I'm good at that too.

Pole-dancing. Yes, really.

I'm good at calling you at 12:10 AM on your birthday to sing you the song first.

I write erotic fiction. I am very good at it. If you ask, I will show you some of my writing.

I am very good at being persistent.
The first things people usually notice about me
My eyes, pretty much. I have really startling green-grey eyes. I have a great body, but I've no idea which part of it people notice first.

Other than that, I'm not sure. Please, if you have met me, send me a message or edit this section and note down what you noticed about me first.

SoleildansunVer: "My, he's thin." The image that you presented fit the "bay area computer dabbler" mould [sic].
YraelSong: Your height or that you are usually wearing colors that stand out in a crowd. Usually black, but you wear fairly striking colors, too. The way you move.
Nika87: You're in love with yourself. In a non-deprecating way.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
a) Iain M. Banks (Consider Phlebas, other the Culture novels), Spider Robinson (Deathkiller, the Callahan's Bar/Lady Sally's House series), David Weber (the Honor Harrington series), Garth Nix (Sabriel et al.), Douglar R. Hofstadter (I Am A Strange Loop, Gödel, Escher, Bach), Neal Asher (the Polity novels), Steven Eriksen (the Malazan Books of the Fallen), Star Wars novels, H.P. Lovecraft, Shel Silverstein, Kahlil Gibran, Raymond Carver, Alice Munro, Sherman Alexie, bell hooks, D.H. Lawrence, Dan Simmons (Hyperion Cantos, Worlds Enough and Time), Toni Morrison (LOVE), Weis & Hickman (Dragonlance), Frank Herbert (Dune), William Shakespeare, Ben Jonson, Johann Wolfgang van Goethe, Dante Alighieri, Publius Ovidius Naso (Ovid), Raymond E. Feist, Joe Haldeman. Greg Egan (Distress, Permutation City, etc.). Mercedes Lackey, Anne McCaffrey, Elizabeth Moon, Glen Cook, Margaret Atwood (Handmaid's Tale), William Gibson (Neuromancer, Pattern Recognition), Octavia Butler, Madeleine L'Engle, Ursula LeGuin, and lots more. I love to read. A lot.

Academically, communication theorists and philosophers get me hot. If you want to start a multiple-hour conversation, bring up Paul Grice, Ferdinand de Saussure, Noam Chomsky, Steven Pinker, Erving Goffman, John Locke, Ludwig Wittgenstein, Edmund Husserl, J. L. Austin, John Searle, or Ruth Millikan. If you can convince me that C. S. Peirce added anything to semiotics that wasn't said better by someone before him, you can have your choice of forfeits. Jacques Derrida likewise, with respect to Husserl. Edward Sapir, and Benjamin Whorf were hacks; don't bring them up unless you want to talk about how wrong and/or useless they are, though Sapir less so than Whorf. For pedagogical topics, I can talk for hours on James Gee, Paolo Freire, and many more.

You may have noticed: I am a little neurotic about the names of my favorite authors and musicians. As far as I am concerned, if you like someone's art or work enough to call them a favorite, you ought to at least be able to name them.

b) A Clockwork Orange, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, The Last Unicorn, Oscar, Slumdog Millionaire, The American President, Star Wars, Memento, Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within and Advent Children, Fallen, Batman Begins, and pretty much any movie with enough explosions can be watched once without a problem.

c) A Perfect Circle, Cirque du Soleil, Tool, Orbital, Juno Reactor, Nine Inch Nails, Megaherz, Lacuna Coil, Vocal Trance, Symphony of Science, Unwoman, The Lonely Island, David Lanz, The Glitch Mob, Eric Clapton, Aaron Copland, En Aranjuez con Tu Amor, E.S. Posthumus, Evanescence, Linkin Park, Ayla, Ace of Base, BT, Disturbed, Godsmack, Metallica, Holst, Hybrid, John Denver, Nightwish, Billy Joel, Bare Naked Ladies, Modest Mussorgsky, Joe Satriani, Andy McKee, The Dave Matthews Band, Jethro Tull, The Crystal Method, Imogen Heap (and by extension, Frou Frou), Zero 7, Coheed and Cambria, At The Drive-In, The Mars Volta and more. I love music. My list of favorites is by necessity short, lest it lose meaning, but I should emphasize that there is very little music to which I will not listen. I listen to di.fm when I need music that fills my ears but not my brain. I have a terrible addiction to eurodance like Cascada and Kate Ryan.

I also love almost any musical artist who will sit down and talk to me about their music. Unwoman tops this list, along with such electronic correspondents as Cryptex and Wesley Morgan. I love Melody Sheep's Symphony of Science video/remixes.

Note: I love "Kiss From a Rose" by Seal. Though the relationship it signified has ended, the love it encapsulates remains. See the note about how I love in my self-summary.

I should also note that I absolutely love to sing along with music, especially in the car. I am not actually very good at doing so, but I do so with great enthusiasm and emotion. Be warned. My car stereo was broken, and now it is fixed. This makes me happy.

d) ravioli, sushi (especially unagi nigiri), chicken quesadillas, kung pao chicken, pizza, almond poppyseed muffins, chocolate, fresh-baked bread, pot pies, saltines, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Since working at an Indian cafe, I've discovered I like samosa and chicken tikka masala.
The six things I could never do without
• Words
• Music
• Caffeine
• Voltage
• Sex
• Love (though for me, this is inextricably bound to the one above)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Sex. Ideas for stories to write. How to be remembered. What it means for a word to mean something. How my cat manages to know every time I'm in emotional turmoil. Physics. Humanity's future in the stars. The ordinality of infinites. How to teach better.
On a typical Friday night I am
Half the time, I'm at home writing, playing games, or watching a movie. I could also be playing "chase the moving object" with my cat or having sex in addition to or to the exclusion of any of the above. Playing with my cat and sex are, however, mutually exclusive. Also, a new Friday night hobby: grading essays.

The other half, I am out and about doing whatever strikes my fancy: dancing, seeing a symphony/an opera/a play/a movie, or doing any of a dozen other things. I could also be having sex in addition to or to the exclusion of any of the above
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
For the longest time, I had nothing written here, because I don't keep much, if anything private. On contemplating, I have found at least one thing that I do not reveal easily:

I fantasize about rape.

Also, I probably own more thigh-highs than you.
You should message me if
...you're interested in asking about anything I've written here.

...you have something interesting to say about anything I'm interested in, or share any of my interests.

...you'd like to play Scrabble or Chess. Or you'd like to introduce me to a new game of similar depth and strategy. Playing Magic: the Gathering on MWS is fun, too.

...you would like a back massage, or any other sort of massage.

...you need English grammar, writing, or linguistics lessons or tutoring.
...you like bacon and eggs.
...you want to send me hate mail.
...you would like to read my writing.
...you need someone to listen to your troubles.
...you want to date me.

Also, I've said it above, but I should repeat, with appropriate emphasis:

If you are a liar, I'm not interested. Don't send me a message, don't think I'll be your friend, and don't think I'll be at all kind when I find out.