Nephew: hey, so u know each box is $23.
Me: Box of what? Kittens?!
Me: Are they calico? Short haired or long haired?
Nephew: oh u must not have got the first txt. Im selling beef jerky for baseball again do im wondering if u wanted some. There r 5 flavors
Me: How many kittens per box? Do the come spayed and neutered? Do they have names already? I want to name one James. He's the shy one.
Nephew: theres 12 a box
Me: I'm going to get one of those carpeted towers for them to climb on. Maybe some string to chase. Ooh! Yarn!
Nephew: sounds like a good time
Me: You have no idea. I'm going to start a cat circus and charge people 3 dollars to see their antics. Just have to decide if it's going to be online or roadside.
Nephew: haha I suggest roadside but u gotta find a busy road
Me: Thats what I'm thinking. We make a good team. Ok, what do you think about those fruit stands that sell sweet corn. That's our Big Top!
Nephew: well....I think you should do it out of a bed of a pick up...
Me: A true traveling circus! Up and down the interstate, drumming up business as we go! Now we need a catchy name for it.
Nephew: well acro-cats is taken so idk
Me: WHO THE FUCK TOOK ACRO-CATS?
Nephew: Another cat circus...
Me: This is a goddamned blood feud now. Our circus is now called "Fuck the Acro-Cats We Shoot Cats From Cannons.". It will have to be a big sign.
Nephew: ha it will draw more attention
Me: Any press is good press. Put me down for one box of calico and one of teriyaki.
Nephew: k thx
Me: I'm going to go work on their intro music now. It has to be soft. Loud noises scare James.
2. Supporting my points in an argument/discussion
3. Changing my point of view if I've lost discussion or apologizing if I've lost an argument
3. Doing impressions of animals (chicken, dog, crow, monkey) for kids
4. Telling stories
5. Driving long distances
6. Getting any child or animal to play.
Movies: Eternal Sunshine, Vanilla Sky, Dark Knight, Happy Accidents, Death at a Funeral, 500 Days of Summer, Brick, Inception (Joseph Gordon Levitt: Man Crush).
Shows: West Wing, Arrested Development, Community, Lost, Parks and Rec (I figured out that I'm a cross between Ron Swanson and Andy Dwyer - it seems to work for me), The Inbetweeners, Downton, Walking Dead, Adventure Time, lots and lots and all sorts...
Music: I love music, but I'm all over the place without finding one genre to call my own. Intelligent rap, classic RnB, folk, rock, classical, old school country.
Food: PUT IT IN MY MOUTH. I want to try everything. When I am in a restaurant, I have strategy I use when reading the menu. I just pick almost at random and close the menu. There aren't many things I find abhorrent so put it in front of me and let's give it a whirl!
2. Deep talks about why we think the way we do and what it means
3. Netflix and Hulu
4. Audio books
5. My wife
6. My dog
The way people hide from themselves and others, the character development that we all go through, the road blocks that we set up in our path to finding contentment. I think humans are exceptionally and perpetually fascinating.
I also think about sex and how ashamed we are of it. Sex, sexual desire and erotism are wonderful things that have been instilled in our minds to bring humiliation and degradation for admitting that we like it and desire it.
Sex shame is worthless and I will have no part in it.
Also, I write stories in-between songs during long drives.
- You like making lists about yourself covering random topics like "My Top 10 Embarrassing Moments involving Horatio Sanz" or "My Top 5 Pet Names for Future Pets and Their Corresponding Genus," and "My Top 7 Single Digits and Why"