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Teryl_8

27 F Edmonton, Alberta, CA

My Details

Last Online
Jul 20
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
Other
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Athletic
Diet
Mostly vegetarian
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Agnosticism
Sign
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Medicine
Income
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Speaks
English (Fluently), German (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I am going to try to be as honest as I feel comfortable being with this self-summary because I don’t want to become entangled in some sort of charade of expectations that don’t live up to the hype!

I identify as third gender and believe that gender is a spectrum. I'm fairly fluid in my gender presentation but prefer neutral pronouns.

I'm also polyamorous and although I would love to have a primary partner again at some point I am also reconstructing my feelings about the way poly relationships work after experiencing some rough emotional highs and lows through it. I am happy right now to take things slow or even to be a secondary partner. My ideal is actually to be part of a poly family though where there are no primaries or secondaries just equals. Not sure if it's workable though. Time will tell!

The thing that has always worried me about meeting people online is that I feel like it might be too easy to create a disingenuous perception by only expressing the positive aspects of your personality. Positivity is great, I think that’s one of the qualities I have (haha here we go!) but I’m the kind of person who is deeply attached to concepts like honesty, integrity and rationality and I can’t stand pretence (unless it is in fun!). We are here to advertise our better qualities, but I’m going to step out on a limb and share as much of the real stuff as I can! I'll try to be honest about some of my downfalls as well because I think compatibility is built on understanding these things.

About my personality...I really don’t like to disappoint anyone! I want to be seen as reliable, dependable, resourceful and competent. In many situations I am all of those things, but (sticking with honesty!) there are circumstances that prevent me from being able to follow through on everything I would like to.

For the last five years I have been struggling with trigeminal neuralgia, chronic stabbing face pain, which started after a whiplash injury. The pain is severe and has made my life incredibly difficult these past few years. However I have been overwhelmingly blessed with supportive friends and family not to mention a fabulous medical team. I regularly go to the U of A pain clinic for extra support, and I have explored various holistic and alternative medical therapies including acupuncture, naturopathy, massage, physiotherapy, counseling and so on. None of it has lessened my pain, but it has strengthened me physically and emotionally and allowed me to survive and gain insight into my life to learn how to manage the pain. I continue to go to pain clinics and explore all possible options.

I am optimistic about the future! Over the years I have learned how to take care of myself and to pace myself so that I don’t get completely burnt out or depressed. It has been a very intense journey, and still is, but I feel as though I am making significant progress into understanding myself better and discovering the kind of strength I have in the face of adversity. I know that I can’t do it on my own and I have had to become humble and gracious in accepting and receiving support from others. This is not something that I am innately at ease with. I desire to be the one who is giving care, not receiving, the one who is needed, not in need.

If you have not heard of the Enneagram I would urge you to check it out. It is a model of personality types that I have found extremely useful. It is quite extensive as there are nine basic types and then there are wings, subtypes and arrows that that all told give over 70 types! But in the end the premise is still that each person is of course completely unique because there are levels of integration or growth as well as aspects of other types that may appear in your personality because of life experiences.

If you want to know more about me based on the Enneagram, I am a 2, which is broadly described as the “Helper.” I have a strong 1 wing (the Reformer) and a predominant one-to-one subtype. When I am in a state of growth I move towards my more creative and expressive nature. I am self-nurturing and I make sure to take care of my own needs first so that the energy I have left over is given to others as a true and genuine gift, not a burden or debt that I expect to be repaid. When I am struggling I have difficulty with those things and move into self-preservation mode (as we all do) specifically to a state of being more aggressive and dominating. I find myself marking out my alliances and trying to decide who is safe and who is a threat. When I think about it rationally I know that this sort of black and white categorizing is not only based on limited and subjective feelings but is also divisive and unhealthy. However I still fall into that trap sometimes without meaning to and I think it must have some strong evolutionary roots.

At my best I am unselfish and altruistic, full of unconditional love for other people. But when I am stressed I can become overly people pleasing and possessive of the friends and relationships that I have. This is something that I have been working on steadily since becoming aware of it. It is easier now to recognize when my automatic coping mechanisms are kicking in rather than my “higher” nature, for lack of a better term.

My automatic reactions are usually based on intense feelings and a need to save face or to protect others or myself. My rational brain takes a bit longer to kick in, at which point I may already be digging myself into a situation that could have been avoided. Again these are things that I have been working on. I just started a cognitive behavioural workbook and I’m finding it quite enlightening. Psychology was my minor and I am quite intrigued by it.

There is also a strong side of me that strives to be incredibly rational and arrives at very idealistic solutions for myself and for the world. If given the time I will analyze a decision thoroughly before I act and I am sometimes caged by the fear of making a mistake.

I judge the morality of situations and people constantly and I feel strongly about things like human rights and ethics in general. Sometimes I feel as though these two aspects of my personality conflict with each other, the side that wants to give unconditional love and the other side that imposes strict moral conditions for approval. I think that the religious environment that I was raised in shaped a large portion of my personality, for better or worse. I no longer attend church, nor do I believe in a personal God, but I still feel a sense of purpose and a mission in life to help others and to make the world a better place, things I grew up feeling strongly about. Of course the content of that purpose and my perception of what makes the world whole and healthy has shifted markedly.

I think of myself as an activist and I spend a lot of time signing petitions and sharing my knowledge of the world and its problems with my friends and family. I feel a strong responsibility to protect the world for future generations and to advocate for human rights and the environment. I feel that I have been incredibly lucky and blessed in terms of the country I was born in and the loving family I was raised in. I have lived a privileged life in many respects and I want to give back to my community locally and to improve living standards globally in any way that I can.

I am not wealthy, but I have more than enough to buy nutritious food and to stay warm and live in a nice place. And I also have the security of family financial support to fall back on if I need it. In the global scheme of things I am very well off and I try to keep this in perspective and to not let local comparisons skew my judgment. There are over a billion people living in immense poverty, in situations that I have never had to experience. It seems only natural that I have a duty to give of my time and resources to organizations that care for the homeless and impoverished, which protect the environment and advocate for human rights.

My worldview stems from both my love for people and this earth and also from my own internal sense of what is right and wrong. I have experienced unbearable pain and misery and I had people to reach out and help me through it. I still do. There are people living every day in terrible pain and hardship who are not that lucky. And it is quite simply not fair. I know that is idealistic, but it is a strong conviction, one I am willing to dedicate my life to.

Haha, didn’t mean to turn that into a rant, but perhaps that is revealing in itself. I’m not always that serious. I love to have fun and to joke around. I think that keeping a good sense humor is actually the only way to survive difficult times and enjoy life fully. Life is comical in its ups and downs. That is why Shakespeare wrote tragic comedies. Sometimes all you can do is laugh at the absurdity of it all.

Ok this is getting long so I will leave it there. Not a very concise summary I realize, but if you want to get to know me better just send me a message! Or check out my answers to some of the questions. I’ve found those very interesting.
What I’m doing with my life
I finished up my B.Sc. in biological sciences at the U of A a couple of years ago. I'm currently studying acupuncture at Macewan. I'm super passionate about working in alternative medicine and a healing profession.

Currently I am working as night staff at Crossroads downtown, a transitional home where homeless women and street workers can stay while they work towards long term housing.

I live downtown and share my two bedroom condo with an awesome roommate!
I’m really good at
- school, I'm kind of a nerd
- listening and consoling
- meditation
- writing sappy poems
- writing dark and tortured poems
- writing late night emails
- keeping my house clean
- bearing witness to other's suffering
- being an advocate
- being patient
- giving out medical advice!
- trying anything once
- enjoying sports, especially snowboarding, skateboarding, wakesurfing, running, yoga and so on
- enjoying being in nature, camping and hiking and kayaking
- finding things to enjoy about life even when I'm in pain
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I'm currently reading "Direct Action - an Ethnography" by David Graeber
and I'm on the fifth book of Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series. Most nostalgic series for me is the Anne of Green Gables series (childhood favourites) and I really want to visit PEI one day. Faves include the Harry Potter series, Redwall series, the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series. Some of my favourite authors are Haruki Murakami, Rohinton Mistry, Joseph Conrad, Alice Munro, David Korten, and Noam Chomsky.

Movies: Searching for Sugar Man, Once, Walk the Line, Sweeney Todd, Finding Neverland, Chocolat, Rango (Johnny Depp), Kill Bill, Pulp Fiction, Inglourious Basterds (Quentin Tarantino), Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey), Black Swan, V for Vendetta, Leon: The Professional, Garden State (Natalie Portman), The Darjeeling Limited, Rushmore, The Life Aquatic, The Royal Tenenbaums (Wes Anderson), Little Miss Sunshine, The Princess Bride, Michael Moore documentaries, human rights and climate change documentaries...

Shows: Orange is the New Black, Sherlock, House, Grey's Anatomy, In Treatment, Scrubs, Off the Map, Private Practice (medical dramas!), Bored to Death, 30 Rock, Extras, Arrested Development, Game of Thrones, Battlestar Galactica, The L Word...

Music: Wolf Parade, Stars, Andrew Bird, Modest Mouse, Decemberists, Patrick Watson, Broken Social Scene, Metric, Mother Mother, Paul McCartney, Bloc Party, Arctic Monkeys, Franz Ferdinand, Angus and Julia Stone, DFA, Passion Pit, LCD Soundsystem, Mumford and Sons, Ani DiFranco, Animal Collective, Spoon, Blitzen Trapper, Beck, Bright Eyes, The Clash, The Constantines, Copeland, Joy Division, Local Natives, Ra Ra Riot, Sea Wolf, Broken Bells, Tropic Harbour...

Food: Super dark chocolate, all nuts except peanuts, berries, especially blackberries and saskatoons, buckwheat pancakes, anything with curry, sushi, umm... ya I just really like food, as long as it is gluten free and did not cause undue suffering!
The six things I could never do without
1) poetry
2) acupuncture and meditation
3) adventures! (longboarding, hiking, kayaking, camping adventures)
4) interesting conversations over hot drinks while playing footsies
5) songbirds and squirrels and sabre-tooth tiger...fossils
6) chocolate, really this is probably number one
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I spend a lot of time thinking about environmental destruction and the anthropogenic contributions to climate change and what we can/should do about it. I volunteer with Greenpeace when I have time and donate money to them. I also spend a lot of time thinking about democracy, or our lack thereof and the flaws of our corporate structured world and the humanitarian crisis of poverty across the globe... again what we can/should do about it. I also spend time thinking about human rights violations, why they occur, what is it about humans or any organism for that matter that leads to this? I think about overpopulation and carrying capacity and greed and overconsumption and competition and evolution and survival of the best adapted (not necessarily the "fittest" as we might describe it, that is a misconception about evolution). I donate to Amnesty International because human rights violations should be stopped but I feel powerless to know how else to stop them.
On a typical Friday night I am
Hanging out with a few friends playing games, watching movies, or going out for coffee. Occasionally I will go out to a pub or drunk dancing at a club. In the summer, chill times with friends having a fire, sharing food, maybe out on the lake.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I never cried (real tears) until I was eight! My tear ducts didn't develop until then!! True story.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like girls
  • Ages 20–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You feel something about me resonates with you.