This is the part where I tell you about myself in the wittiest, most charming way possible. If that hasn't caught your attention, well, here it goes...

Just prior to moving to D.C. I was in the Peace Corps in Kazakhstan. [Insert Borat joke here.] I taught English and worked with a NGO. More importantly, in my spare time I tried to think up new ways to cook potatoes and how to keep from freezing. I loved every minute of it.

The discerning among you may also have noticed that I'm from Texas. However the only time I ever truly miss Texas is when I can't find good Mexican food -- D.C. is truly lacking -- or bars don't carry Shiner Bock. Otherwise I'm committed to staying in D.C. for a while. Starting my Master's program in Conflict Resolution this fall, so that one day I can go out there and resolve some conflict. (See what I did there?)

What else can I say about myself? I'm very social and love to meet new people from all across the globe. I appreciate a good joke...

I geek out at museums, particularly exhibitions with Egyptian artifacts or dinosaurs. (Seriously, who doesn't like dinosaurs and mummies?)

I work for the man, a common occurrence in D.C. I'm also starting my Master's in Conflict Resolution this year.

Russian accents, telling corny jokes, weirding out my friends by letting my accent slip (only happens when I say words like, "jambalaya," and "zydeco").

My teeth. In all seriousness, it's astounding how many compliments I get.

Movies: Indiana Jones, James Bond, Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, Clueless, Love Actually, Fifth Element, Shawn of the Dead, Resident Evil

TV: American Horror Story, Dr. Who, 30 Rock, Parks and Rec, Homeland, Downton Abbey, Monty Python, Game of Thrones, New Girl, Longmire

Books: Half the Sky, London, A Song of Ice and Fire, George F. Kennan: An American Life, Roma, and basically anything by Orhan Pamuk, Simon R. Green, and Agatha Christie.

Food: Sushi, chai tea, Thai food, pelmeni, Indian food.

Music: The Rolling Stones, Nine Inch Nails, Mos Def, Beyonce, David Bowie, Gogol Bordello, ZZ Top, The Clash, Queen, Tina Turner, The Kongos, M.I.A., Me & Kate, Puscifer, Imagine Dragons, AWOLNATION, Depeche Mode, Sleigh Bells, The Hot Sardines

Sarcasm
Tea
Banter
My bike -- and a helmet, because helmets are cool!
My phone. I'm completely owning up on that one.
Government secrets.

-My zombie apocalypse survival plan.
-If because one of my parents is a ginger, does that mean I have half a soul?
-Would I have survived Jurassic Park, or would I have been run down by a pack of raptors?
-Vladimir Putin.
-How is Central Asia doing these days?

Tackling the hill on Constitution Ave with only 2 gears (goddamnit). Out with friends in D.C., or avoiding the schmear. Ask me about it later.

My bike's name is Winston Churchill.

If you have a beard, especially if you have a beard and a puppy. If your puppy has a beard, you have my attention.

Side note: The most I can promise is to be available for meeting new, interesting people with similar outsets. This allows everyone to relax and let other interests develop in more organic, intriguing ways.