"It only stings where we have wounds when others throw salt." -- Marcus Aurelius

Despite claiming here to be a BIG old empty-headed Viking-Buddha, I got my first hate-mail this week. Sad. Sad and pathetic.

I am almost never "mild," but I am almost always gentle when faced with someone who is rude. I grind my teeth though, when someone is rude without the courage to face me.

I was also known, in my misspent youth, as the Viking-Samurai on the Lower East Side. Check out AVP.

Editors

• slyypper

Less than I should be and currently ruminating and pouting over some rude boi -- but loving it just the same.

Spotting the fly in the ointment and gently rescuing it.

Problem-solving. Mediating. Facilitating. Training.

I have also recently come to realize, as in comprehend correctly, for myself, that I am extraordinarily talented, gifted, actually, with regard to changing, influencing, improving, conditions and situations for myself and for others. Most often without notice.

I'm BIG, LOUD, and seemingly obnoxious. I am grandiose. I don't fit in and I ain't looking to fit in. I came to grips with this reality, chose it for myself, when I was twenty-eight, though I started trying it on in junior high. Thank god, I did and I do not use the g-word lightly.

Also, I have a smile and a vocabulary that will melt your heart.

My favorite movie, since I was ten was "Lawrence of Arabia." "The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts." Thirty years later, "Groundhog Day" toppled perseverance in the desert. "Did you really want to talk about the weather?"

I will watch almost any late night movie. I love romantic comedies. I also like swashbucklers, westerns, sci-fi epics, and action-adventure movies, in general.

Love "The Big Sleep," "It's a Wonderful Life," "The Maltese Falcon," "The Carpetbaggers," "The Wizard of Oz," "Gone With the Wind, "Firefly," "French Kiss," "Armageddon," "The Wild Bunch," "Kelly's Heroes," "Casablanca," "The Third Man," and "The Thirty-nine Steps"

There's a ton of movies that I like: "The Longest Day," "Harry Loves Sally," "Starship Troopers," has that great shower scene. "Star Wars," and "Tron" woke me up to graphics and special-effects were able to do.

I like most of the movies mentioned in other profiles I read. I like movies. Maybe a loser would help: I hated "Buffalo Bill and the Indians:" An hour-and-a-half long; it seems like four-and-a-half hours of sepia with no redeeming qualities; I fell asleep and killed myself when I woke up in the theatre.

Anybody who wants to go to the movies, or just come over and sit on the couch -- call me: I'm your man,

Music: Hid out and listened to "WAKR, the big Whacker" from Akron, Ohio, 1590 on your AM dial. Know every word to thousands of old rock and roll songs. And hum the parts I don't know. Sing constantly.

Like mix and house music. Can listen to rap and country; depends on who I'm with and whether it's old or new. Can work to classical. Can do the horizontal bop to anything, except new age. Bout the only person I'm a fan of is John Prine because he's a poet as much as he is a song writer. I am in love with Bonnie Raitt, Whitney Houston, and Nina Simone. Love female vocalists in general.

Food: Will not eat chitlins. Yes, I had them. AND yes, I had them cooked a million different ways, even by Miz Yasmin. Just don't like them. "No, thank-you, Sam-I-Am!" Will eat mondongo and andouille which are made of the same high-quality ingredients, but cannot do the chitlin-thing. Sorry.

Honor. Loyalty. Love. Peace. Hope. And Compassion.

Does five children count? Like coffee a lot.

How to be more useful without getting caught at it.

Working.

Playing Scrabble with the Missus. At your girlfriend's house "fixing the TV." At the movies with my boy.

I put sharp knives in the soapy dishwater. I'm addicted to stealing magazines from public waiting rooms. I donated ten dollars to the Moral Majority to get a membership card, but I signed the check "Lee Harvey Oswald" and gave your address as the return.

Please, please do. I would prefer mature, reasonable people who are looking to explore slowly what humans have in common.

DO NOT MESSAGE ME IF you have your head up your butt.

Racists, misogynists, homophobes need not apply!