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29 Los Angeles, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–33
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body type
Mostly anything
Trying to quit
Very often
Other, and laughing about it
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from masters program
Art / Music / Writing
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs
English (Fluently), Russian (Okay)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
And now I'm back in Los Angeles. I've literally circled the globe for two years to come back... LA -> NYC -> Prague -> Bangkok -> LA.

My profile name is fairly crude, but if you laughed when you first read it or read it in the Sean Connery voice as intended, then it's already obvious we'll get along.

I enjoy Woody Allen and Ernest Hemingway equally and for completely different reasons. Papa watching Annie Hall with a glass of Scotch is a great mental image. You're welcome.

Current status: Some facial hair.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a working screenwriter. So, there's that.

I got lucky in that I am free to stress out while doing what I love: writing. There's nothing like stressing out while doing what you love. Especially the part where it makes you want to throw your computer out, Ron Swanson-style.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.

Also, bar trivia. Actually, trivia games in general. I once seriously considered Jeopardy! as a way to pay my rent. I seem to know everything under the sun that isn't immediately important at all.

For example, I likely have no idea where my keys are at any given moment.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm laughing. I'm not a large person. I'm laughing some more.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: First and foremost, Catch 22. After that, Slaughterhouse Five, Great Gatsby, The Gadfly, Three Comrades, Regeneration, Candide, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Love in the Time of Cholera, and I'll admit I have a soft spot for really pulpy books ala John Burdett or terrible science fiction (I recently ended up giving away almost my whole library. It was interesting picking what to keep.)

Movies: In the Mood for Love, 8 1/2, In Bruges, The Last Temptation of Christ (...and Jesus Christ Superstar), Up in the Air, The Lives of Others, Exit Through the Gift Shop, Apocalypse Now, The Godfather, Hollywoodland, LA Confidential, Gladiator, The Believer, Cabaret, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, and so on.

Shows: The Wire, Parks and Rec, Breaking Bad, 30 Rock, Always Sunny, How I Met Your Mother (first 7 seasons), Battlestar: Galactica (first 2 seasons), Californication (first 2 seasons), Game of Thrones (first 3 seasons), Lost (first 2 seasons), etc

I'll admit that for all the depreciating returns in the above shows, I still don't miss episodes.

Music: There really isn't a lot I DON'T listen to. If Pandora, I can easily go from a Beethoven channel to a Jay-Z one. Though, a lot of the time, I simply like background ambiance.

Food: Yes, please.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Friends.
2. The Internet. There, I said it.
3. A bookshelf. If empty, it'll be filled soon enough. Even if it's just with knickknacks.
4. A mystery.
5. Netflix.
6. Adventure.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why is this site so horrible? Why don't we all have better ways of meeting someone?

Sometimes, with a tumbler of bourbon, I'll stare wistfully out a window. I hope it looks as classy as it does in movies, but probably not.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
With added grammar: "On a typical Friday night, I am."
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have the potential, but not necessarily the tendency, to be a wee bit neurotic. Or at least that's how I see it. I have an inner Alvy Singer, no matter outside appearances.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You need a laugh. I could use one too.

I generally have my shit together. Wouldn't mind someone else that does too to share... our... together shit?