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28 M Los Angeles, CA

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Very often
Other, and laughing about it
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from masters program
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs
English (Fluently), Russian (Okay)

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My self-summary
And now I'm back in Los Angeles. I've literally circled the globe for two years to come back... LA -> NYC -> Prague -> Bangkok -> LA.

My profile name is fairly crude, but if you laughed when you first read it or read it in the Sean Connery voice as intended, then it's already obvious we'll get along.

I enjoy Woody Allen and Ernest Hemingway equally and for completely different reasons. Papa watching Annie Hall with a glass of Scotch is a great mental image. You're welcome.

Current status: Some facial hair.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a working screenwriter. So, there's that.

I got lucky in that I now make good money doing what I love: writing. I don't have hours, let alone an office, and I've been told that I'm lucky to be one of the few writers actually (and lucratively) living a writer's lifestyle.

For the first time in a long while, I can't complain. It's nice.
I’m really good at

Also, bar trivia. Actually, trivia games in general. I once seriously considered Jeopardy! as a way to pay my rent. I seem to know everything under the sun that isn't immediately important at all.

For example, I likely have no idea where my keys are at any given moment.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm laughing. I'm not a large person. I'm laughing some more.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Slaughterhouse Five, Great Gatsby, The Gadfly, Three Comrades, Regeneration, and I'll admit I have a soft spot for really pulpy books ala John Burdett or terrible science fiction (I recently ended up giving away almost my whole library. It was interesting picking what to keep.)

Movies: 8 1/2, In Bruges, The Last Temptation of Christ (...and Jesus Christ Superstar), Up in the Air, The Lives of Others, Exit Through the Gift Shop, Apocalypse Now, The Godfather, Hollywoodland, LA Confidential, The Believer, Cabaret, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, and so on.

Shows: The Wire, Community, Breaking Bad, 30 Rock, Always Sunny, How I Met Your Mother, Battlestar: Galactica, Californication, Game of Thrones, Lost, etc

Music: There really isn't a lot I DON'T listen to. If Pandora, I can easily go from a Beethoven channel to a Jay-Z one.

Food: Yes, please.
The six things I could never do without
1. Friends.
2. The Internet. There, I said it.
3. A bookshelf. If empty, it'll be filled soon enough.
4. A mystery.
5. Netflix.
6. Adventure.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why is this site so horrible? Why don't we all have better ways of meeting someone?

Sometimes, with a tumbler of bourbon, I'll stare wistfully out a window. I hope it looks as classy as it does in movies, but probably not.
On a typical Friday night I am
With added grammar: "On a typical Friday night, I am."
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have the potential, but not necessarily the tendency, to be a wee bit neurotic. Or at least that's how I see it.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–33
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You need a laugh. I could use one too.

I generally have my shit together. Wouldn't mind someone else that does too to share... our... together shit?