Okay, now I suppose you’d like to know what I’m doing on this site because, hey, major freak until proven otherwise, right? (let’s just put aside the fact that you’re on this site too, homie).
My sister met her husband online, so I know people can connect on here. I helped write her profile, in fact. I don’t remember what we said exactly, some crap about her liking pretzels from street vendors on a sunny day or something. I do remember the moment she told me about some guy named “LuckyCharms.” That was his user name, not his real name, thank god. He is not a leprechaun. So anyway, my sister told me LuckyCharms sent her a nice message but she wasn’t so sure because...you're not gonna believe this...he had taken a bunch of weird self-photos with his cheek bones sucked in. She was like, “Roy, I’m not sure I can get past this.” I said, “Bevin, let’s think about this for a second. Maybe the guy just has nice bone structure or something. You should give him a chance.”
Well Bevin and LuckyCharms now have a relationship that anyone would do well to emulate. They travel all over the world and do all those cute weird things couples do, like take hours deciding which Facebook photo to post from their latest excursion. Wait, is that normal?
So that’s it. That’s the story that keeps me going in this f’ed up dating world known as NYC, where meaningful connections seem so rare. Btw, in case you were wondering, LuckyCharms actually does have rather nice bone structure. I mean, who are we kidding. Let’s get to the important stuff.