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37 M Berkeley, CA

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Oct 19
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Atheism, but not too serious about it
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Has a kid, but doesn’t want more
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
(Dear guys visiting my profile because you're interested in my wife: she is amazing. She's also picky, so be sure to write her something really impressive if you want to hear back.)

(Sorry for the lack of real pictures. Our friends and family mostly know we're in an open marriage, but we're more cautious professionally, so we lean toward the discreet. Photos are of course available if we get to talking.)

I'm a professional writer (mostly fantasy/science fiction) and editor with a day job at an arts nonprofit. I like cooking, spirited arguments about books, drinking with friends, watching and talking about movies and TV, walking around the East Bay, and making things up and writing them down for fun and profit.

I'm happily married (in an open relationship with the wonderful VioletWheat). Looking for people it would be fun to talk to and hang out with, and if those friendships develop into more, fantastic.

I've pretty much achieved the things I always dreamed about -- my life revolves around love and art, I'm successful in my creative endeavors, and I can afford to get brunch most weekends -- so at this point I'm just looking to make things even more awesome.

I've been in the Bay Area since 2000, but am originally from the South; I miss the food, but the west coast is otherwise a much better fit for my personality, philosophy, politics, and peace of mind. My drawl does still come out a bit when I've been drinkin' though, y'all.

I am "kinky but not too serious about it" – it's fun in bed, and most of the people I see are kinky to some degree, but it's not central to my lifestyle. (It's not even my fandom – science fiction and fantasy literature is my fandom.) If you want to know if those interests align, I have the same username on FetLife.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Writing, reading, perpetually racing against deadlines, enjoying life with my wife and kid.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Writing, editing, making alcoholic popsicles, cooking chili, talking about books and movies and games.

Oh, and the fiancé of a woman I date says I should warn people that I'm really good at Cards Against Humanity, so there's that.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I get comments on my blue eyes, my smile, and my dimples, but I like to think the first things people notice are my inherent aura of majesty and my creative genius. Oh and also my modesty.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
The only sin in art is to be boring, so I like all sorts of non-boring things. Favorite films include movies by Brad Anderson and Wes Anderson and Preston Sturges, screwball comedies, classic suspense, film noir, and horror movies of questionable quality that seem ideal for streaming late at night.

My musical tastes tend toward clever/quirky/interesting songwriting, so I like Rilo Kiley and Modest Mouse and Jenny and Johnny and Built to Spill and Juliana Hatfield and Kimya Dawson and the Old 97s and the Mountain Goats and Aimee Mann. Also Radiohead. Because Radiohead.

Narrowing down favorite books is impossible, since I live books, but I love things by Jonathan Carroll, Kate Atkinson, Ken Bruen, M. John Harrison, Kathe Koja, K.J. Parker, Caitlin R. Kiernan, and countless others. My favorite story writer is Theodore Sturgeon, followed shortly by Kelly Link. (I think George Saunders is the greatest living writer of short fiction, but Link gets the edge because "Magic for Beginners" is my favorite story by a living person.)

I love all sorts of good TV too. Favorite shows include Justified, Adventure Time, Archer, The Good Wife, Scandal, superhero cartoons... and so on.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Books. Something to write with (and something else to write on). Late afternoon sunlight. My family. Love and art.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Imaginary people doing impossible things. How to balance the sometimes conflicting needs of art and commerce. Who would win in a fight, Gojira or Cthulhu.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Cooking, hanging out with my family, reading a book, out at a reading, watching horror movies while drinking whiskey, writing. It varies.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't particularly like The Lord of the Rings. Oh, and I am completely unbothered by spoilers for books or movies. (Heresies!)
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You enjoy talking about books or writing or movies or hilarious things (simultaneously or consecutively). You're poly (or monogamish or non-monogamous or open or similar) and looking to make new friends, and open to seeing what else might develop. You live in the East Bay and want to get beer sometime!