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32 McLean, VA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21-42
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Nov 9
Native American, White
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
5' 11" (1.80m)
Body Type
Full figured
Agnosticism but it’s not important
Post grad
Doesn’t have kids but wants them
Has cats
English (Fluently), Latin (Somewhat), French (Somewhat), Spanish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
[ETA: I've been answering match questions over the course of ten years, and have noticed that my views have changed radically over these years. If I gave a stupid answer to a question, please don't write me off--I'm working on re-answering all match questions.]

I'm a married, poly, geeky, kinky, liberal, feminist government
contracts lawyer.

I'm currently looking for a second partner (with the knowledge and encouragement of my wife), and love meeting new people. Ideally, that person would be someone local, but I'm open meeting someone who is in town intermittently too. That being said, I tend to be tightly-scheduled on weeknights, so like to plan things several days in advance.

I work for the D.C. city government, and love my job, but love doing other stuff more.

I love tabletop RPGs, but hardly ever play them, due to the recession-induced breakup of my group. Hope springs eternal for a new one, though! I'm also a big movie buff (all kinds from art house to mainstream).

I'm happily married to HelDC since December 2010,
and turned 30 in January of 2013. I admittedly look a lot older though. I think of myself as "zaftig" by which I mean "fat." And there's nothing wrong with that--which is to say down with the fat-haters. :-) I'm also working on my physical fitness (though, I don't really care if that affects my weight, as long as I'm healthy).

I have a fairly surreal sense of humor, am very ADD, and considered pretty serious by people who know me professionally. My friends laugh at this idea.

I'm higher-strung than I should be, but I'm working on that.

I'm still on here an average of once every 1-2 months, so, really
please just email me at t h a n e dot t u t t l e @ g mail dot com
(just remember to remove the spaces and turn words into
punctuation). It's the best way to get in touch. Link me your
profile though, and I'll definitely come check you out. :-)

Finally, I'm also Thane on Fet.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Government contracts law by day, sleep by night (except weekends).
Funny how that works.

I'm also trying to learn everything I can about everything I've
heard of, stay close to my good friends, and have fun doing all of
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Let's see... mainly geekery of all types.

Also, Cooking, throwing dinner parties (hey, maybe I should do one of those again!), random trivia, swedish massage

A couple of friends have said I missed my calling as a 19th century snake-oil peddler, though I like to think of myself as more of a raconteur.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My enormous...Goatee. I'm going for something between a Van Dyke and a Cardinal Richelieu, but with a handlebar mustache. I wax it when I'm trying to dress up for non-work functions.

I'm told I have nice eyes too, but I'm not sure I buy it. And I must admit, despite my non-apparent youth, I've been going bald since I was 15. Que sera sera.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: A Moveable Feast, The Third Policeman, The Eyre Affair, LOTR (of course)
On the more popcorn-ey side: Anita Blake, Dresden Files, Laundry Files

Authors: Charles Stross, John Scalzi, Jim Butcher]] (three most recent favorites, Hunter S. Thompson, Damon Runyon, Kurt Vonnegut, Ovid, Hemingway, JK Rowling, Laurell K Hamiliton (go Anita Blake!), Jasper Fforde, and Raymond E. Feist (a childhood favorite that's still going)

Movies: Wreck-It Ralph, Pacific Rim, The Hobbit,Grindhouse (one of the few who actually liked it, I know), Hot Fuzz, A Very Long Engagement, Oldboy, Rome (which is technically a TV show, but ah well), Subway (Luc Besson action-comedy in French from the 80s), The Royal Tenenbaums, Evil Dead 2, Howl's Moving Castle, The Incredibles, Snatch, and, of course, The Princess Bride.

Music: Ludovico Einaudi (listen to Divenire, please), Heather Spence (friend of mine who is AWESOME), Mumford & Sons, O-Zone, Irish Descendants, Denzel, Franz Ferdinand, Vitalic, The Shins, Yoko Kanno, Joe Hisaishi, Youmi Kimura, Johnny Cash, Eric Serra, Placebo, The Pillows, and The Stranglers for starters.

I love food. I like cooking too. I cook a mean lasagna and decent enchiladas. My weinerschnitzel's not bad, either. And, don't get me started on my made-from-scratch chocolate sour cream cake. It's yummy! More generally, I like just about anything spicy or exotic. I love Tex-Mex, having grown up w/ it, Thai is great, pho noodles are good too. I love Belgian waffles.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
- Hot baths (at least one a week, please--they're so relaxing)
- Art (more specifically, great books books and films)
- The Internet (which, I'm told, is for porn (hard to understand,
considering that it is a series of tubes; actually on further
thought, maybe that's not such a stretch...)
- Great libations (good cider, rum, scotch, etc.) I'm also getting into artisanal moonshines.
- Great food and friends to share it with
- Sex + Cuddles
- Games
- Air, water, food, etc.
- The cuteness that is embodied by our kittehs

And yes, I know that was more than six.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I like most forms of entertainment, and spend a fair bit reading, playing, and thinking about books, movies, and video & tabletop games.

I've also been tackling the larger philosophical questions in life recently. What will make me happiest? How can I become a better person? How can I become awesomer (yes, I just said that). Things of that nature...

My sister and her fiance recently moved in with us, so that's been on my mind too. They're great, but feel sooooo young at 22 and 26, which is strange to say, because it seemed like I was that age like yesterday.

I also spend a lot of time thinking about how to get our disaster of a house in order. We have too much stuff, and are working on how to organize it.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Several of our friends host games nights, so those are also a great way to get out and catch up.

It really depends on the night, though. I tend to stay at home quite a bit. Occasionally, though, things are wild, or at least hedonistic. I really dislike loud bars and clubbing, though (except for the Crucible and Black Rose events, which I've attended only a few of thus far).

Dinner (with a few friends and a few drinks) and a movie is always good. I've been meaning to go to a good hookah bar for a while now, too.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Nothing's that private, to begin with (as long as I'm not at work). ;-)

Next, as stated above, I am involved in an open poly relationship with my wife, HelDC. It's fun and works for us. We're both on here, and we have both dated other people. I just want people to be aware of this going in (b/c I just realized OkC may not list me as "seeing someone" on my profile).

Finally, I recently came out on Fet as heteroflexible. If you're a guy on OkC, I'm probably not interested, but feel free to message me anyway.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're poly and interested in meeting/dating/seeing someone new.

More generally, you should message me if you're into polyamory, D&D, kink, French cinema, law & government contracts (heaven forbid), generalized randomness, or eating/drinking something yummy while discussing any of the above.

Geeks are welcomed and preferred, of course, but please don't let that make you think that you're unwelcome if you don't consider yourself one.

Also, if you actually would be willing to meet after we get to know each other. I love having long-distance internet friends, but, honestly, I'm really bad at it.

Having something to say also works.

Oh, and if after reading this (or before), you hate my very essence and want to see me wiped from the face of the earth, I'd kinda like to hear about that too.