Fact: I live in Middle America (aka "flyover-country" for many of you) but am in and out of NYC and London often for work so figured, rather than hanging out with boring ass coworkers, perhaps it might be (a lot) more fun to make a local acquaintance who is interested in enjoying the company of a smart, attractive, well-endowed Midwestern boy who specializes in conversationalizing, pleasurizing your special parts and feigned immodesty. ChristianMingle.com just wasn't working out very well so I figured I'd give this a whirl. Applications now being accepted.
Unsolicited user reviews:
"I look at your profile... and I think, 'Nerdy guy who has read pick-up guides to try to score women by adopting the alpha male stereotype. Probably has an ugly face and a terrible case of social awkwardness. Probably spent an ungodly amount of time on his profile.'"
-- 22-year-old female (Chicago, IL)
Response: Probably ;)
You are "a horrible human being" who is undoubtedly "compensating for a baby penis."
-- 36-year-old female (Naperville, IL)
Response: My grandmum would definitely take issue with your first point!
"I want to taste you."
-- 31-year-old male (San Francisco, CA)
Response: While a me-sandwich does sound yummy, if I'm going to be the meat then I'd prefer the buns to be female.
"I DO think you sound like a douche, but for some reason I still want to rub my tits against your abs."
-- 21-year-old female (New York, N.Y.)
Response: Marry me?
Typical reaction: "WHAT A DOUCHE -- albeit a physically fit, surprisingly eloquent, perhaps devilishly attractive douche who is willing/able to profess a disarmingly (if not downright charmingly) self-aware brand of douchiness."
I'll try keep this semi-short for expediency's sake. [Editor's note: I failed.] True story: if you are able to stomach the initially disagreeable outer layer of douchiness that dominates this profile and we end up hitting it off you shall be rewarded. Handsomely.
Summary: I like where I'm at personally, professionally, physically, psychologically, and any other of those -ally's, but I travel a lot (primarily NYC, Boston and SF) for work and would like to meet a lady who has her own things going on but would like to grab some drinks, share a few laughs and/or practice a little babymaking for pretend.
Some fun facts about me: Just like everybody else on here I am extremely attractive and devilishly intelligent, but unlike them I have the pics and conversational skills to prove it. I can be discreet. Sometimes I'm laid-back, sometimes I'm not; sometimes I'm down to earth, sometimes I'm not -- but I'd rather somebody punch me in my erogenous zone rather than use either of those lame, generic phrases to describe me. I rarely lose my cool, know how to treat a lady, never forget a face, but can be bad with names. I have an extremely supple mind, maintain a very active lifestyle, harbor several seemingly insatiable desires, and don't really give a shit about the Oxford comma. I have a serious (ie, big boy) job that demands a lot of my time (especially lately... sigh), but in and around talking about subcutaneously administerable oligonucleotides and series E convertible debentures I will be daydreaming about how amazing your tits look when your back arches as you cum.