Message Him

Join OkCupid

Find better matches with our advanced matching system

—% Match —% Friend —% Enemy

TheAceofSams

28 / M / Straight / Single

Astoria, New York

His Details

Last Online
Today – 8:34pm
Ethnicity
Middle Eastern
Height
3′ 5″ (1.04m).
Body Type
Full figured
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism and laughing about it
Sign
Scorpio but it doesn’t matter
Education
Dropped out of space camp
Job
Science / Tech / Engineering
Income
$50,000–$60,000
Offspring
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Arabic (Okay), Spanish (Okay)

Similar Users

My self-summary
New York City. The hurricane of humanity. The world's largest outdoor psychiatric ward. Except for a black hole, no other place in the universe so perfectly mirrors the quiet, raging chaos that constantly swirls within the fleshy pile of random crap sitting behind the back of these eyes. With a population density of sixty thousand peopler per square mile, we're practically stepping on each other the minute we step out of bed. Yet these millions of shiny, noisy, constantly moving dots, do little to alleviate the sensation that you may as well be floating in outer space. You know the feeling I'm talking about. That sudden pang of awareness that you're essentially living in an emotional vacuum. Fun, ain't it?

This is my particular story of f*cked up mindless chaos. It's probably not much different than yours. Well, maybe it's slightly more entertaining to watch than that youtube video of the screaming goat. Enjoy.

Speaking of random crap, here's some random quotes to give a little more insight into my influences.

“Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping but you rarely have to use the phrase ‘upside your head’.” -- Bender Bending Rodríguez

"This is what I want. I want total exhaustion from tasks that are outside of my skill set. I want my determination and anger to focus my energy. This is not an easy way to go, and it might not be good for one's constitution, but at least I don't feel old."
-Henry Rollins

"I'm the product of 6 million years of evolution? Come on, man. I crawled out of a swamp yesterday." - Pete Steele

"I take responsibility for absolutely nothing, except for the fact that I take responsibility for absolutely nothing. Kinda Zen, if you think about it." - Wylie Times, 100 Bullets

and last, but not least: "Chicks = Trouble" - Nikki Sixx, Heroin Diaries

Aggressive, rebellious, intellectual. Born and raised New Yorker (NO! SLEEP! TILL BROOKLYN! \m/>_<\m/...sorry, I'll be normal now.) of Egyptian descent. I do and say what I want, when I want, and make no apologies. I live life by my rules, and I make them up as I go along. I'm a bit of a gambler in life. Many times luck is my friend. Sometimes it's not. I take risks, make mistakes, "Fuck up", but refuse to lament when shit hits the fan. I live life on my own terms, and accept the costs thereof. Think you can handle me? Then play your hand and lets see who's got the Ace...

Believe it or not, you're a machine. Everyone is a machine. My take on dating is that people are very similar to cars. Just because it looks great, makes all the right noises, and practically floats when you drive it off the lot, doesn't mean that there aren't gremlins under the hood waiting for you to drop your guard. In other words, I believe in taking the time to understand what drives a person, and more importantly, how the inner machinations of their mind aid or impede them in moving forward. If you're not willing to put in a lot more effort than just looking at the paint job, popping open the hood for a few minutes and kicking the tires, you're putting yourself on the road to disaster. I'll stop with the car puns now.

I'm an engineer (explains a lot, right?) and a construction project manager. The phrase, "it can't be done" is not in my vocabulary. However, the phrase "it can't be done SAFELY" is something I say on a fairly regular basis, usually from behind the safety of some kind of barricade. My intent is to eventually break into upper management without having to become a workaholic.

I am for the most part a regular "dude", with a regular job, who has not so regular friends and family. I strive to be a better man than I was yesterday, even if only by some minute detail. I enjoy training in martial arts, karaoke, singing and playing guitar in open mic nights around Manhattan, billiards, and the occasional bowling (though I'm terrible at it). I have a penchant for being hilariously awkward at just the right (or wrong, depending on your viewpoint) time. Being a walking encyclopedia of 80s and 90s pop culture references doesn't exactly help. Some think it's a gift. I think its just good luck and bad timing.

I like occasionally watching major sports games with friends, but I'm no sports expert or junkie by any means. Just enjoy getting together and watching/hanging out with friends.

To make a long story short, I have a wide range of music and entertainment tastes. If you're interested in getting to know me, we can discuss the specifics in person. If not, meh, no hard feelings, we all have our preferences.

That's all folks. Good night, and good luck.

-Sam

skype: theaceofsams (never would've guessed it, huh?)
What I’m doing with my life
"I'm just some fucking guy."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFdqMk4QfAc
I’m really good at
Learning new skills to near expertise overnight (a.k.a. "cramming"). That's pretty much what engineers do.

Insomnia. Like, on the level of Dave Attel (actually met him once on a 3 am romp through the Village).

Out-swimming land sharks.

Karaoke.

Open mic nights.

Hunting wolverines in the outback "with a flippin' 12-gage, what do you think?! GAWD!!!"

Chokin' a bitch. ("I make Bryant Gumbel look like Malcolm X, huh muthafucka?!?!")

Kung fu fighting. My kicks are fast as lightning.

Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions, among others. Pablo Francisco would be proud. Yes, I'm THAT good.
The first things people usually notice about me
They see me roll on. My Segway. I know in my heart they think I'm white and nerdy...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
After reading the Tome above, do you really want to see a laundry list of every single thing that I like? How about we discuss that stuff while we're shootin' some pool or something like that?

You know what...I'll give you one - The Book of Biff. If you can prove you knew about that before I mentioned it (I'll know if you googled it), you're in.
The six things I could never do without
My parents.
My friends.
My GUI-TAR! *Axl Rose serpentine*
Free information and the internet. Thank you, libraries, wikipedia and howstuffworks.com.
A good education, which I have been blessed to have.
My car.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
This: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPDaz6uO9Ps
...and this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbnFJVgBcw0

-Why are all the women I'm "matched" with on this site (I consider a match to be 85% or greater) so tragically hip?
...Great merciful crap, is it possible that I'm a closet hipster?!?! o_O

-How I'm going to get the Spice Girls into the paella.

-If they were to make pencils that taste like bacon, what would bacon taste like?

-Why Wile E. Coyote doesn't just use some of the money he blows on elaborate mechanical traps to order some local Chinese take-out. I'm sure their fried rice will have some kind of roadside-related bird in it.
On a typical Friday night I am
....the same thing we do every night, Pinky....

Oh, and doing a lot of this in Woodside:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKmZgTrclhg
^^^Hopefully, you realize the above was a joke. I promise. =)
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 20–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners
You should message me if
You're ManBearPig. I'm being super serial.

You're interested. I get that women on here get hundreds of messages a day, many of them inappropriate and offensive, and I'd prefer to not be just another spammer. Hence, if you're interested feel free to initiate contact, because I probably won't unless I find something profoundly interesting, relatable or humorous in your profile. For those that want proof that I'm a live human being and not a robot or the creepy old man from Family Guy, I'm willing to video chat on
skype: theaceofsams

You'll vote for Pedro.

You want to help me organize a Napoleon Dynamite Flash Mob. No joke, I think it would be the coolest thing to hit NYC since the Pantsless Subway Ride and SantaCon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiAwpYIkRmU

You've got soul, but you're not a soldier.

These pretzels are making you thirsty.

You have a song you want to hear me sing to you in karaoke, or sing/play on my guitar at an open mic night. EXCEPT for Total Eclipse of The Heart. Not under any circumstances. >=|

Your profile isn't so common and generic that I could buy a 30-pack of you on sale at Costco. It helps if it isn't filled with cliches that are as lame as Night Court in it's 5th season.

You love the taste of Schweddy Balls and you're an expert cork soaker.

You've caught all the references in this profile. You will be expected to list all of them. In reverse chronological order. While doing a keg-stand. You will be deducted half a point for every misspelled word. Just kidding, you'll be deducted a full point for every misspelled word.