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TheAceofSams

30 Astoria, NY Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Middle Eastern
Height
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Used up
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Never
Religion
Islam, and laughing about it
Sign
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Dropped out of space camp
Job
Science / Engineering
Income
$60,000–$70,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Arabic (Okay), Spanish (Okay)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Somewhere between "laid back" and "easy going", there lies....PRETENTIOUS...by Calvin Klein...yours free, with any $200 first date at Macy's. =p

Ok, so two things to know about me:

I have Crohn's disease and may have to go into major surgery at some point (relax, I'm functioning normally and still in one piece). If we initiate contact and you're interested in knowing, I'll share details.

Or, if you're not interested in knowing, I won't. Whatever floats your boat.

2. I'm NOT Muslim. I'm an Agnostic. I can play the part (like most Christians/Catholics) to shut people up. However, rest assured that I don't buy a single bit of that bullsh*t (or any other brand of imaginary bearded sky-people for that matter). Ain't nobody got time for that.

If that's a problem for you because of your devotion to whatever religion you may follow, I wish you the best of luck in finding someone who shares your beliefs.

Now that we've cleared that up... On with the show...

New York City. The hurricane of humanity. The world's largest outdoor psychiatric ward. Except for a black hole, no other place in the universe so perfectly mirrors the quiet, raging chaos that constantly swirls within the fleshy pile of random crap sitting behind the back of these eyes. With a population density of sixty thousand peopler per square mile, we're practically stepping on each other the minute we step out of bed. Yet these millions of shiny, noisy, constantly moving dots, do little to alleviate the sensation that you may as well be floating in outer space. You know the feeling I'm talking about. That sudden pang of awareness that you're essentially living in an emotional vacuum. Fun, ain't it?

This is my particular story of f*cked up mindless chaos. It's probably not much different than yours. Well, maybe it's slightly more entertaining to watch than that youtube video of the screaming goat. Enjoy.

Now it's time for some random quotes (because nothing represents me better than something someone else said!):

“Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping but you rarely have to use the phrase ‘upside your head’.” -- Bender Bending Rodríguez

"To be honest, there aren't many things I do believe in, but high among them would be friendship, family ties, and romantic love. I think those things can take you a long way." - George Carlin

“Let me give you some advice, bastard: Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.” - Tyrion Lannister

"See, to live is to suffer. To survive, well that's to find meaning in the suffering." - DMX

"Whaddaya mean I don't support your system? I go to court when I have to!" - "Peace Sells", by Megadeth

"This is what I want. I want total exhaustion from tasks that are outside of my skill set. I want my determination and anger to focus my energy. This is not an easy way to go, and it might not be good for one's constitution, but at least I don't feel old."
-Henry Rollins

"I'm the product of 6 million years of evolution? Come on, man. I crawled out of a swamp yesterday." - Pete Steele

"I take responsibility for absolutely nothing, except for the fact that I take responsibility for absolutely nothing. Kinda Zen, if you think about it." - Wylie Times, 100 Bullets

and last, but not least: "Chicks = Trouble" - Nikki Sixx, Heroin Diaries

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

We are all machines. People are like cars. Just because it looks great, makes all the right noises, and practically floats when you drive it off the lot, doesn't mean that there aren't gremlins under the hood waiting for you to drop your guard. I believe in taking the time to understand what drives a person, and more importantly, how the inner machinations of their mind aid or impede them in moving forward. If you're not willing to put in a lot more effort than just looking at the paint job, popping open the hood for a few minutes and kicking the tires, you're putting yourself on the road to disaster. So try not to be just another "tire kicker". I'll stop with the car puns now. =p

Born and raised New Yorker (NO! SLEEP! TILL BROOKLYN! \m/ (>_) \m/...sorry, I'll be normal now...) of Egyptian descent.

I'm an engineer and a construction project manager. The two professions/industries tend to go hand-in-hand. Content with my profession, I'd like to eventually break into upper management without having to become a workaholic.

I am for the most part just a regular "dude", with a regular job, who has not so regular friends and family. I strive to be a better man than I was yesterday, even if only by some minute detail. I enjoy training in martial arts, karaoke, singing and playing guitar in open mic nights around Manhattan, billiards, and the occasional bowling (though I'm terrible at it). I have a penchant for being hilariously awkward at just the right (or wrong, depending on your viewpoint) time. Being a walking encyclopedia of 80s and 90s pop culture references doesn't exactly help. Some say it's a gift, others say it's a curse. I think its just good luck and bad timing.

As for what I'm looking for -- trouble. Just kidding (somewhat), but I'll know it when I see it.

Finally, I'm not a music Nazi, so it doesn't matter to me if we share similar music tastes. You do you, I'll do me. No big deal.

To make a long story short, I have a wide range of music and entertainment tastes. If you're interested in getting to know me, you can find out in person. If not, meh, no hard feelings. `\_(o_O)_/` *shrugs*

Hopefully, at the very least you got an entertaining read out of this profile. If not - well then, as Joe Pesci made clear in Goodfellas, I'm not some fucking clown here for your amusement- so you can go fuck yourself.
(Which, let's be honest, is probably what you're doing 6 out of 7 days of the week if you're on this site to begin with). #sorryImnotsorry #fapfapfap

Good night, and good luck.

-Sam

P.S. For those that want proof that I'm a live human being and not a robot or the creepy old man from Family Guy, I'm willing to video chat on
skype: theaceofsams (never would've guessed it, huh?)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
"...I'm just some fucking guy." True story:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9U4Ha9HQvMo
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Out-swimming land sharks.

Karaoke and Open mic nights.

Kung fu fighting. My kicks are fast as lightning.

Growing a beard (Shut up, Grandma!):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0kSuZFOwFE
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Don't know, and I don't really care. People only see what they want to see anyway.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Shouldn't that be saved for in person discussion?
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Who gives a shit? Seriously, is this something that you absolutely must know? Yeah, that's what I thought.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnIBQrI3LMg

Also, why OkCupid insists on matching me up with couples who clearly state they're only interested in women, or specifically NOT interested in single guys.

Seriously, this is the best you can do with all your pseudo-scientific/mathematical matching algorithms? Give me a fucking break.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
(_)_)<33 *fart*

`\_(o_o)_/` <---*shrugs*
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
...meh. Whatever. For the most part, this shit is all just entertainment to me. It's like looking through the online equivalent of a book of sideshow ads from a vintage old-timey carnival. Freaks and misfits as far as the eye can see.

Oh, and one last thing:
with the exception of Greenpoint - BUCK FROOKLYN!

Actually...one more last thing. Nobody - and I mean NOBODY - gives a flying fuck about how much you've traveled.
Congratu-motherfucking-lations, you've repeatedly demonstrated your ability to get through airport security without being detained. BIG. THE FUCK. DEAL.

That is all. -_-