If I had a good answer for this, I don’t think I would be happy. Everything I do is to know myself better. As a child, I spent a lot of lonely time by myself trying to find something that made me feel complete and happy. At times in my life, I've felt that such a searching need was a sign that something was wrong with me, and maybe it is, but at other times, I think maybe I'm just more sensitive to those questions that we all ask ourselves late at night lying in the dark: What am I here for? Who am I? Will all these wild dreams ever come true?

I've always loved those activities that let me test the limits of myself, whether it's pushing the physical bounds in sports and outdoor adventures, stretching my imagination through reading and making music, or refining my opinions and values by learning more about those of others.

I am Eagle scout, and after many years of camping, I can understand why some people don't like it. I find coming back dirty and smelly with sore muscles and exhausted emotions to be exhilarating because I know that regardless of how many times I thought I couldn't make it, couldn't take another step, couldn't spend another cold night on the hard ground, I did (but perhaps, there is a bit of a masochist in me). I put myself through grueling rigors and emerged on the other side a stronger and more confident person. It's the same reason, I ran a triathlon a couple of years ago. Just to see if I could. After months of training, I did. I swam, rode, and ran for three hours straight and crossed the finish line with no gas left in the tank, propelled only by adrenaline and the knowledge that I thought I could and I did - like the little engine that could. Training for the triathlon also got me into swimming, which I love. I not sure why I was surprised to like swimming as exercise so much. I've canoed and kayaked for years, and I love anything to do with the water (which is different from saying I like watersports). Swimming is also a great recovery exercise because I've been playing a lot of soccer lately and sometimes my knees get pretty stiff from all that running.

As much as I push my body, I push my mind more. Cause, of course, it's the mind that allows me to push my body - mind over matter and all. It's probably a good thing I'm not a cat because I'm infinitely curious (although all those naps might not be so bad). Sometimes, I probably sound like an annoying three-year old with my incessant 'why?'s. Naturally, I took to reading like a fish to water. In college, I was actually a History major. All those English classes were just for fun. By the time senior year came around, I had enough credits to add English as a second major. In addition to loving the ability to lose myself in the lives of others through reading, I also love the less certain, more abstract expression of music. I started playing the trombone in 5th grade and played in the marching, concert, and jazz bands through the end of high school. In 8th grade, I also started filling in on the jazz bass. Before college, I bought a guitar and a organ. In fact, I sort of have a problem of acquiring musical instruments (I now have a piano, two organs, three guitars, a bass, a mandolin, a violin, a trombone, a clarinet, and some harmonicas). I can't really play them all that well, but I love making some noise on them. I love just pouring my soul into it, letting my thoughts slip away, and letting whatever sounds just flow forth. Actually, that's how I love to dance too. I've never had any classes or training. I don't claim to be good. But I will get into it!

The great thing about dancing is that it's not just physical and emotional and creative, it's also a social activity. Moving in rhythm with others, communicating with bodies and eyes, silent and intense, dancing can be such a great opportunity to get to know someone in ways that words will never capture. I really like meeting new people. Sometimes I can be shy at first. Sometimes, I can spend more time on the edge of a conversation, listening quietly. But, I'm always attentive, probably more so than most people realize. So I love social activites where I get to mingle with new people: dancing excursions, evenings of drinking and talking, dinner parties. I actually love cooking (and cleaning, I can be so domestic!); although, again I have no training and don't claim to be great. But nobody's every spit something that I made out (that I know of). I have been a vegetarian for going on thirteen years now, so while that might cut down on some menu choices, I've had plenty of experience finding yummy substitutes.

These are the things I know about myself today. Who knows what I'll discover tomorrow? Who knows what you'll show me? After all, it's a rare man who truly knows himself.

(yes, yes. I know that was extremely wordy. But I like words. and if you don't, I don't like you)

Since I can't find a way to make money being a life-long student, I've settled for the next best thing, and I'm working on becoming a professor. I've completed a Master's program, and I will be starting a Phd program in the fall. My primary interests are in American literature, Southern literature, Queer Theory, and Race Theory; but like my generals interests, I'm always curious about things I don't know and finding connections between apparently separate things.

Enjoying things. Sometimes it may seem that I may be naively uncritical, but actually I’m just able to recognize flaws for what they are and accept them. For movies and books, I can overlook plot-holes, bad dialogue, or gratuitous sex/violence to enjoy the parts that make it great, the parts that show somebody poured their heart into creating it, into making it communicate something. I just feel happier focusing on the good parts. This goes for people too. I like almost everyone I meet (like 99.5%), with the very few exceptions who I dislike a whole lot for some reason.

Based on what I've heard, I'm going to say my eyes.

I generally don’t like choosing favorites because it is inherently exclusionary and I have a whole theoretical rant on the logic of totalization and all it’s problems. Lately, I’ve gotten better about naming things I like, but I still refuse to narrow it down too much, so I just make expansive and unorganized lists with all the contradictory things I like on them. Except for food, I like a lot of food, but hands down, my favorite food is bread and cheese, any way it comes: grilled cheese, pizza, macaroni and cheese, quesadillas…

BOOKS: Moby Dick. MiddleSex. Geek Love. Absalom, Absalom. Go Down, Moses. The Autobiography of an Ex-coloured Man. Invisible Man. Look Homeward, Angel. All The King's Men. Look, I'm getting a PhD in literature. I like books. I love books. Sometimes, I think it may be sickness. These are just some of the best I have read lately. Beautiful and Moving. I like so many books, but in different ways. For example, I love the Harry Potter books, but I wouldn't call them beautiful or moving.

MOVIES: Fight Club, Amelie, A Long Engagement, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, The Princess Bride, I <3(heart) Huckabees, Garden State, Wet Hot American Summer, Donnie Darko, High Fidelity, Bottle Rocket, Rushmore, The Royal Tenebaums, Office Space, Being John Malcovich, Adaptation, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Pleasantville, Nightmare before Christmas, Edward Scissorhands, Boys Don't Cry, 28 Days Later, Fargo, O Brother Where Art Thou, Princess Monoke, Spirited Away, Howl’s Moving Castle, Kiki's Delivery Service, Akira, The Incredibles, Kung Fu Panda

MUSIC: I made a top five albums list once, like Rob Gordon in Hi-Fidelity (or Rob Fleming if you read the book). Great Movie, better book. Definitely should on both favorite list. Problem is, I didn't write it down. I think it was(in no order):Paul Simon, Graceland ; Radiohead, OK Computer ; Nick Drake, Five Leaves Left ; ... I think I had Rilo Kiley, The Execution of all Things ; and I can't quite remeber the fifth. I had thought it important to think of my top five as I drove down the interstate, but not to write it down. edit: I now remember U2, Joshua Tree was definitely in there. I don't know what wasn't

The fifth might have been Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots , or very possibly Discovery by Daft (actually I don't think it was in there, but it should have been), or maybe Fever to Tell by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I really like them, especially the song Art Star off of Master, even though it took me quite a while to like it.

Of course, there's also the newer (to me at least) favorites, the Decemberists, the Arcade Fire, the Shins, The Weakerthans, The Crooked Fingers, the Stills, Blonde Redhead and so on

I also like the White Stripes, and the majority of the overlapping Scottish rock team, Belle & Sabastion, Mogwai, Snow Patrol, Arab Strap, The Reindeer Section, ooh, and Modest Mouse, and the Killers, and Franz Ferdinant, Super Furry Animals, My Morning Jacket..... and of course, the Pixies

Oh man, and classic stuff, Beatles, Zepplin, Pixies, John Cash, Hank Williams. I also like some amount of hip-hop, The Roots, Black Star, Del the funky homo, Outkast, ... there's more I am sure, but I'm blanking. I also like a fair amount of pop, dance and musicals, but none that I will admit here.

I like too much, I keep thinking of things to add on to this: Deathcab For Cutie, Postal Service, The Darkness, Pearl Jam, The Smashing Pumpkins, and Davd Gray, and on and on and on....

thinking