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29 Waterloo, Ontario, CA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–34
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Dec 21
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Graduated from university
Sales / Marketing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Well I just turned 29 which is breaching full-on adult mode so I feel it's time to establish a more mature profile to attract a more mature cache of women. I need to start to talk about things like my ambition, as opposed to things like my alcohol tolerance and love of South Park.
So here we go.
I have been with my company for 4 years and have an established, comfortable career. I just bought a house in Waterloo, and a new Range Rover for the driveway. I wanted to get all my luxury purchases figured out before 30, so I can build income and invest in future rental properties so I can retire by around 50. That's the plan.
With this house comes an enormous lawn and garden, so I am interested in meetings girls who know about things hostas, perennials, and grass types. I'd like to ultimately replace my gardener with a girlfriend.
With that, I suppose it's time to try and date women, not girls. I'm into women that have careers, education, a sharp sarcastic sense of humour, patience for a busy schedule and love of dirty jokes.

Online dating is not always fun and sometimes it's awkward. One thing I can promise is that we won't have an awkward date as I try not to take life to seriously. Sometimes people don't click, sometimes people fall madly in love. I'd like to hit somewhere right in the middle but even if we don't, we will have laughs and not leave feeling like we need to have a shower afterwords. It's nice not to have any pressure, and it's even nicer not being in a rush.

If you have an addiction to cooking and trying out new meals, I have a sweet kitchen and am always hungry, so by all means try out all your meals on me. I will love them. I also exercise, so don't worry about over-feeding me lol.

So in summery, I want to go on a date with a gardener/chef/comedian/porn star. Let's make that happen :)
But in all honesty, if you look like a sweetheart I will probably message you back and we can have a nice chat about world politics, which I'm sure you are all very into.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Professional recruitment, renovating my basement, landscaping my yard, blacking out on Saturday nights, lazing around Sunday mornings.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I think of myself an excellent writer, a classic joke-teller, an exceptional Big Spoon, a mediocre Little Spoon. REALLY great at watching movies.

Basically, all things humour related is really all I care about :)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have been told I have a cute but irritated look on my face most of the time... like I'm frustrated, but grinning about it. The "secret joke all to myself" face.

That, and usually I'll come forth with a fairly tasteless joke immediately after introductions
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My favourite book is The Average American Male. I just recently burned through all the Game of Throne books, they were amazing. Currently reading Dark Tower series.

Movies I love Choke and Moon (Sam Rockwell is my boy), I also love the typical dude movies... The Departed was studly.

I love the 90's for music... alternative rock (ie, Stone Temple Pilots), but I love the hip hop classics (Wu Tang, Biggie, etcetera).

Food? Uhm... Breakfast sandwiches :)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My laptop, my bed, my rum, my car...hmmm... my gym membership (as douche-baggy as that sounds)... Tim Horton's coffee...comedy, my gilette Mach 3, my electric toothbrush, the internet.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Oh boy lol.... That is what we call a "Loaded Question". How dare you, OKCupid.

Alright, in seriousness.. I spend an unhealthy amount of time thinking about my career... my future, etc. Again, a d-bag answer but this is about honesty lol. I've partied away all my early 20's and now I am good to go for self-actualization and adult-type happiness.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
At a Pub, or at a club. Or, with a glass of rum/rye on ice while luxuriating on my giant sofa.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Hmmm... well to keep things relevant, I am very much open to online dating lol. I am not on this for sex, or to be complimented.... picking up girls in the bar is so 2009. I'm all grown up and want to do grown up things, but taking it as it comes is necessary.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are open to being absolutely blown away in the bedroom.


You have an extremely open sense of humour and live by the "laughter is the best medicine" principle. You can NOT be up tight, a "princess", or fragile. I am an amateur comedian and it may take a certain type of enlightened, easy going girl to fall in love with me. I can make friends with anyone, but only love the Gems.

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