I am a handsome man, currently considering a medical procedure to make myself even more handsome. If I do, I shall be forced to change my name to Hansum B. Wonderful.

I live in St. Paul next to a paper warehouse, a vodka distributorship and a candy factory. It's like living at the intersection of childhood dreams and crushing adult reality.

I once won a vocabulary trophy (Perhaps you heard about it on the news? No? Well it totally happened, I swear!) but I sometimes struggle not to use the F bomb in every other sentence. Have you won at least one spelling bee in your life? That would be sexy.

I can change a flat tire in less than five minutes. I cannot set up a tent. I do pushups every day, but I cheat when I do them.

I am tall, magical, and America's bad boy

I manage a movie theater. Much of this involves the supervision of high school kids, which is roughly akin to herding cats in a rain storm, which was also one of my past jobs. Previously I spent most of my adult life working in kitchens and I am about six credits shy of a paralegal degree. In summary, I can kinda sorta do many things.

A couple qualifiers:
- I am not religious. I am not an atheist or agnostic. I believe in a higher power, meditate regularly and consider myself friendly towards pretty much all beliefs. However, if you're looking for someone for whom organized religion, and things such as regular church going are very important to, I am probably not your guy.
- I've decided to stop beating around the bush on this one; I have no real interest in being a father. If you are deadset on having kids, or have kids from a prior relationship where I would be expected to take on a fatherhood role, I don't think it would work out. There is a minute chance my mind could change on this for the exact right person, but until then I feel it's best to be up front about it.

Pushing children out of the way at the Science Museum. Damn kids!

I used to be good at having sideburns too, but they're gone now.

I am an expert at darts, based on this one time I threw three straight triple 20's but nobody was watching.

My gallant stroll.

My answer would be "Fried green tomatoes". Did that movie have a soundtrack?

1. Cheese
2. Chinese buffets
3. My cat, Cat. Not because I am a cat lover, but because for various reasons we're stuck with each other and have come to a sort of understanding. He's an irrepressible, needy little shit, but he's MY irrepressible needy little shit.
4. George Foreman Grill, AKA, the center of bachelor living.
5. Scrabble
6. A nice set of sheets

I am not a very materialistic person. This isn't because of some perceived moral high ground, there just aren't lots of possessions I find I both need and want. Every Christmas, I ask for socks.
UPDATE: I didn't get any socks this Christmas!! The hell!?

The little ball inside the spray can.

Not going on dates, apparently.

I once put EZ Cheez on a chocolate chip cookie. And ate it.

You've never seen The Wire and want to be introduced to the greatest television show of all time.
You can drop repeated f-bombs in conversation and still sound classy.
You like going to random museums and restaurants.
You're easily seduced by a SWEET Mazda sedan with Micky Mouse window decal.
You have at least a little roughness around the edges.