I live in St. Paul next to a paper warehouse, a vodka distributorship and a candy factory. It's like living at the intersection of childhood dreams and crushing adult reality.
I once won a vocabulary trophy (Perhaps you heard about it on the news? No? Well it totally happened, I swear!) but I sometimes struggle not to use the F bomb in every other sentence. Have you won at least one spelling bee in your life? That would be sexy.
I can change a flat tire in less than five minutes. I cannot set up a tent. I do pushups every day, but I cheat when I do them.
I am tall, magical, and America's bad boy