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TheDarkMuffin

18 Arlington, TX Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–26
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Dec 6
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Skinny
Diet
Strictly vegetarian
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Education
Working on university
Job
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Speaks
English (Fluently), Vietnamese (Okay), Sign Language (Poorly), C++ (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
DISCLAIMER (not really, but that word makes people read things): Someone once told me that you can often get a gist of something by reading the first and last 20ish percent of it. If you read "My self-summary" and "You should message me if," that's all that's really necessary and not even that. Everything else is me being clever or funny with spontaneous answers and meticulous answers. If you'd like to know my sense of humor or what-have-you, by all means, read this excruciating demonstration of verbosity. Otherwise, first and last sections are all you "need."

I'll probably drop the rare (frequent) cynical remark of a dying poet over the course of you knowing me given the hypothetical that such a thing breathes. "I'm my own greatest enemy." Give me a Pulitzer.

People seem to have this odd superstition that I'm nice, possibly due to the statistical sample I can access being reduced to those that believe I'm nice or simply because they have faith that my motives are nice. Whether or not I'm nice is still up for dispute.

No sapien has ever initiated contact with me without thinking that my constant warring analysis of myself and my universe against my seemingly structureless emotions were/are self destructively intense. I like to think that there's an instance of homogeneity, but alas:

No homo.

In case you can't tell from how obviously pretentious I am, I'm a Liberal Arts Major, and I can be very intense (people usually love it or hate it).

Theatre! Philosophy! Film! These are things that interest me! Unlike many Liberal Arts Majors, I also am infatuated with astrophysics, mathematics, and space tits. Or astronomy, whatever. Colloquialisms! Slang! Urban terminology! Synonyms!

If these topics
Are your cup of tea
Then please be sure
To leave a message for me
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I have no clue.

I don't know where I am most of the time. I spend a lot of time thinking, which may provoke you to believe I'm intelligent.

Do not be fooled so easily. I put little of my thought into anything that you would probably find it worthy of putting effort into. Liberal Arts, remember? I solve impractical equations, make impossible blueprints, draw pretty things and tear them up, and masturbate excessively. My ego, I mean. I masturbate my ego.

And go to college along with the masturbation, but those two go hand in hand (right one, but I switch a lot).

I must admit, I find this question particularly difficult to answer simply because I'm not sure what "my life" means. It's difficult to create a cohesive narrative compatible with the idea of a constantly evolving entity. But enough about Theseus and his lack of proper maintenance crews, let's talk about what I'm really good at.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Seeing the future. See how I totally knew that this section would come next?

Hm. Oh, wait, BOOM! That was mandatory. Back to being pensive.

Hm.

Promising myself that I'll value the happiness of others over my pointless pursuit of things to think of so I can finally grow past the emotional maturity and awareness of a fetus (murdering me would be considered abortion), but then pushing random people aside for puzzles in the end anyway. Portal 2 with me is a bloodbath. Call of Duty 999 with me is also a bloodbath, since I'd rather drown myself in a bathtub of blood than play the latest CoD (never actually played it) unless it means some fun cuddling will commence (admittedly not everyone's goto weapon in that game). Or fucking, beautiful fucking.

What was the question?

I'm also good at the maths, practical and abstract. The sciences. The logics. The Theatre. The stand up. The improv. The offensive homage to the Indian propensity to unnecessarily add the word "the."

I also got Best Supporting Actor once. Big fish in a small pond of High School actors.

And this one, I do feel genuine pride from: Best Written/Directed/Produced Senior Showcase of the Year for a play I wrote and directed. Yum.

OH, and also, I'm very good with computers. It's nice to hang out with things that are less socially adept than me (though, looking at cybernetic trends, it would appear that my enthusiasm may fade in that reasoning [and considering these things less socially adept than me is stretching it a bit]). If you've read this far, aren't interested in me, but have computer problems (a very unlikely scenario), message. Or if (THERE WAS A TYPO HERE, MAY ALL THE UNIVERSE KNOW REGARDLESS OF MY CORRECTION) you just wanna check out my sexy Linux setup (I'm lying, it's a basic Cinnamon Ubuntu LTS), also message me.

I'm also good at finishing my
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My feelings regarding this particular section rather parallel the ones showcased here (that's a hyperlink, in case you're viewing this on a device that's too calm for hyperlinks). It's rather arbitrary, wouldn't you say? Of all the interests of the universe, including the universe, why "books, movies, shows, music, and food?"

I mean, who dates based on food? "Oh, I love french fries, too! Getting all those salty potato sticks shoved down my mouth FUCK ME."

That actually seems slightly plausible.

My tastes are very fickle, but with a method to the madness. An algorithm of sorts that also is very fickle and decides to occasionally change. Selfness is illusory.

My tastes also lie in tasteless humor.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Without what? Disembodied message, I'm not certain...disembodied message? DISEMBODIED MESSAAAAAAGE! Fine, I'll answer, or something.

Reasoning (Debating, Math, Philosophy, etc.)
My memory
Cuddling
The ability to count
Arbitrary direction of time
The ability to count
My memory

I could never do those things without myself.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
SPENDING TIME!?

Good blood of blue thundering goat's milk.

This universe is doomed to futility.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, contemplating physics and cucumbers. I hate cucumbers.

Only on Fridays, though. Apparently, this prompt thinks it's very important that it's Friday when I do this. Every dating website I join is a cult...
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You can find the button to do so.

I enjoy exhausting possibilities, and you should help me do that by messaging me. While I'm deceptively male, I don't have a world record in initiating conversations or keeping them going, so don't assume I've totally lost interest in you if I stop messaging you or if I don't message you at all. Assume I've lost interest if I block you (not that bad of a consequence) and write your name in blood on a pentagram (a bit more severe).

Some final things, I go by Cave. It's a silly name with a long history, and I'm really only saying silly to appease the readers when it has quite a bit to do with my illusory sense of self. In case you're not fond of referring to me as a pastry/delicacy.

And really, debating in general, message me. I might not respond, I don't always have the time (I promise I do try to respond to everything, but OKCupid is actually a bit further down on my priority list than I think is sufficient for it to be functional). Still, you ought to do it.

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