Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
DISCLAIMER (not really, but that word makes
people read things): Someone once told me that you can
often get a gist of something by reading the first and last 20ish
percent of it. If you read "My self-summary" and "You should
message me if," that's all that's really necessary and not
even that. Everything else is me being clever or funny with
spontaneous answers and meticulous answers. If you'd like to know
my sense of humor or what-have-you, by all means, read this
excruciating demonstration of verbosity. Otherwise, first and last
sections are all you "need."
I'll probably drop the rare (frequent) cynical
remark of a dying poet over the course of you knowing me given the
hypothetical that such a thing breathes. "I'm my own greatest
enemy." Give me a Pulitzer.
People seem to have this odd superstition that I'm nice, possibly
due to the statistical sample I can access being reduced to those
that believe I'm nice or simply because they have faith that my
motives are nice. Whether or not I'm nice is still up for
No sapien has ever initiated contact with me without thinking that
my constant warring analysis of myself and my universe
against my seemingly structureless emotions were/are self
destructively intense. I like to think that there's an instance of
homogeneity, but alas:
In case you can't tell from how obviously pretentious I am, I'm a
Liberal Arts Major, and I can be very intense (people
usually love it or hate it).
Theatre! Philosophy! Film! These are things that interest
me! Unlike many Liberal Arts Majors, I also am infatuated with
astrophysics, mathematics, and space tits. Or astronomy,
whatever. Colloquialisms! Slang! Urban terminology!
If these topics
Are your cup of tea
Then please be sure
To leave a message for me
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I have no clue.
I don't know where I am most of the time. I spend a lot of time
thinking, which may provoke you to believe I'm
Do not be fooled so easily. I put little of my thought into
anything that you would probably find it worthy of putting effort
into. Liberal Arts, remember? I solve impractical equations, make
impossible blueprints, draw pretty things and tear them up, and
masturbate excessively. My ego, I mean. I masturbate my
And go to college along with the masturbation, but those two go
hand in hand (right one, but I switch a lot).
I must admit, I find this question particularly difficult to answer
simply because I'm not sure what "my life" means. It's
difficult to create a cohesive narrative compatible with the idea
of a constantly evolving entity. But enough about Theseus and his
lack of proper maintenance crews, let's talk about what I'm really
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Seeing the future. See how I totally knew that
this section would come next?
Hm. Oh, wait, BOOM! That was mandatory. Back to
Promising myself that I'll value the happiness of others over my
pointless pursuit of things to think of so I can finally grow past
the emotional maturity and awareness of a fetus (murdering me would
be considered abortion), but then pushing random people aside for
puzzles in the end anyway. Portal 2 with me is a bloodbath. Call of
Duty 999 with me is also a bloodbath, since I'd rather drown myself
in a bathtub of blood than play the latest CoD (never actually
played it) unless it means some fun cuddling will commence
(admittedly not everyone's goto weapon in that game). Or fucking,
What was the question?
I'm also good at the maths, practical and abstract. The
sciences. The logics. The Theatre. The
stand up. The improv. The offensive homage to
the Indian propensity to unnecessarily add the word
I also got Best Supporting Actor once. Big fish in a small pond of
High School actors.
And this one, I do feel genuine pride from: Best
Written/Directed/Produced Senior Showcase of the Year for a play I
wrote and directed. Yum.
OH, and also, I'm very good with computers. It's nice to hang out
with things that are less socially adept than me (though, looking
at cybernetic trends, it would appear that my enthusiasm may fade
in that reasoning [and considering these things less socially adept
than me is stretching it a bit]). If you've read this far, aren't
interested in me, but have computer problems (a
very unlikely scenario), message. Or if (THERE WAS A TYPO HERE, MAY
ALL THE UNIVERSE KNOW REGARDLESS OF MY CORRECTION) you just wanna
check out my sexy Linux setup (I'm lying, it's a basic Cinnamon
Ubuntu LTS), also message me.
I'm also good at finishing my
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My feelings regarding this particular section rather parallel the
ones showcased here
(that's a hyperlink, in case you're viewing this
on a device that's too calm for hyperlinks). It's rather
, wouldn't you say? Of all
of the universe
, including the universe,
why "books, movies, shows, music, and food?"
I mean, who dates based on food
? "Oh, I
love french fries, too! Getting all those salty potato sticks
shoved down my mouth FUCK ME."
That actually seems slightly plausible.
My tastes are very fickle, but with a method to the madness. An
algorithm of sorts that also is very fickle and decides to
occasionally change. Selfness is illusory.
My tastes also lie in tasteless humor.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Without what? Disembodied message, I'm not
certain...disembodied message? DISEMBODIED MESSAAAAAAGE! Fine, I'll
answer, or something.
Reasoning (Debating, Math, Philosophy, etc.)
The ability to count
Arbitrary direction of time
The ability to count
I could never do those things without myself.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Good blood of blue thundering goat's milk.
This universe is doomed to futility.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, contemplating physics and
cucumbers. I hate cucumbers.
Only on Fridays, though. Apparently, this prompt thinks it's very
important that it's Friday when I do this. Every dating website I
join is a cult...
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You can find the button to do so.
I enjoy exhausting possibilities, and you should help me do that by
messaging me. While I'm deceptively male, I don't have a world
record in initiating conversations or keeping them going, so don't
assume I've totally lost interest in you if I stop messaging you or
if I don't message you at all. Assume I've lost interest if I block
you (not that bad of a consequence) and write your name in blood on
a pentagram (a bit more severe).
Some final things, I go by Cave.
It's a silly name with a long history, and I'm really only
saying silly to appease the readers when it has quite a bit to do
with my illusory sense of self. In case you're not fond of
referring to me as a pastry/delicacy.
And really, debating in general, message me. I might not respond, I
don't always have the time (I promise I do try to respond to
everything, but OKCupid is actually a bit further down on my
priority list than I think is sufficient for it to be functional).
Still, you ought to do it.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.