I'm amused in a certain way by all the profiles I read trying to convince me that this person is practically perfect, the most awesome person to walk the face of this earth, or such and such. Amused because nine times out of ten, I read it and think that they're putting up a front that feels really forced. And the rest of the time, they're displaying some trait that makes me think they're far from awesome. Usually unbearable smugness.

So I'm going to go another route. I'll write stuff about myself in a generally fair or neutral tone. I expect that some of you will like me, some of you will dislike me. If you fall into the latter category, that's okay! You can go about your business and I won't hold it against you for thinking that I'm not the most awesome person on the planet.

To the rest of you…hi! Though please don't think of me as the most awesome person ever or practically perfect or any of that. Let's maintain some perspective here, nobody's either of those.

Scanning at things on the distant horizon, picking out a point that looks interesting, and meandering in that general direction. I've discovered that no life plan survives the first contact with reality, and that even if they did, things are more interesting if you're open to detours that pop up.

I like Austin. I like my career. I like my life. The point on the horizon I'm currently headed toward is right in front of me. I think I've got the wanderlust out of my system at least for a good while. This may be less interesting than saying that I want to explore the world. Or to dramatically change it. I'm content with that.

Learning about things, often for no particular reason. I find this fun. Furthermore, I find it fun to briefly explain to people things such as why the radioactive element americium is used in household smoke detectors. That one's in the same ballpark as why it's generally safe to have dinnerware made from uranium in your house (though I do not recommend eating off of it).

Karaoke. Maybe. Depends on the song.

Games. I've got a competitive spirit and strategic mind.

While I wouldn't consider myself objectively good at it, I brew beer. But for my money, the mere ability to actually make it counts for a lot.

I'm an introvert. It is not the same as being shy (I used to be ridiculously shy, but I got better). It does not mean I hate people or even talking with people. What it means (for me at least) is that in social situations, I'm less inclined to jump in headfirst. I'll instead determine my actions by sitting back for a bit to survey the terrain, and triangulate accordingly.

Oh pleh. It's all too easy for this section to devolve into a series of lists that say nothing about the given person. It feels like before I click a profile, I can reasonably predict that this person enjoys Breaking Bad, Mad Men, and Dexter. This tells me nothing about a person. Excellent taste maybe, but when someone like Paul Ryan says he likes Rage Against the Machine, taste doesn't get you terribly far.

I'm going to try something different. I'll note a few things that may or may not be favorites, and say a few things about them. And in the process, I'll TRY not to go on for pages.

TV: Breaking Bad it is! Although given my previous cynicism, I also have a good excuse: I grew up in Albuquerque. So it does feel almost mandatory to like, but I also get the added enjoyment of playing Spot the Landmark in each episode. And no, Albuquerque really isn't a big shithole. Don't imagine the Crossroads Motel. You know all those shots of the beautiful desert landscape? Imagine that. Relatedly, I feel for people from Baltimore over The Wire. Probably the same thing.

Recently finished House of Cards. Solid, but I think mostly because I can lose myself in a well-crafted political drama. It's not much more than that, but I'll take it.

I really hope Dexter ends in this upcoming season. The last one started well, but it feels like the season was premised on casting Sarah Walker now that she was free, but not knowing what to do with her. They really seem to have problems with playing the long game with story threads.

Movies: I don't watch many. They feel either too long (obvious reasons) or, paradoxically, too short. For instance, I remember after watching Tron: Legacy, I was left thinking "Man, that's a really interesting world they set up there! But it felt like we were rushing through it. Maybe if they made a TV series out of this…"

The movies that spring to mind here are the recent Batman movies. I think I liked that whole nod towards realism thing that Christopher Nolan was aiming for. By way of comparison, while I think The Avengers was good fun, it did feel a bit lightweight to me for much the same reasons.

Last movie I saw in theaters was The Hobbit in 48 FPS. On the framerate, I say the critics were mostly (but not entirely) full of shit.

Music: I have what is evidently a strange ability to like most anything I hear. Mostly this manifests in the way that I will not be attempting to rip my ears off over having to hear [INSERT POPULAR BAND HERE] and then forgetting it soon thereafter. But, to pick a more concrete example, I genuinely enjoy Call Me Maybe. I mean, if you can listen to her with Jimmy Fallon and The Roots and not crack a smile, I say you have no joy in your heart:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEsPhTbJhuo

But I got favorite bands. We'll say The Beatles, and because they're a bit of a cheat, R.E.M. And because in a certain light R.E.M. is a bit of a cheat, let's throw in Fountains of Wayne as well.

Books: I primarily read non-fiction, because I like learning things. Right now, I'm working through a book called Liars & Outliers, and it's by a computer security expert exploring the idea of trust in society and how that compels us to do the things we do. How he gets a whole book out of it, imagine the prisoner's dilemma writ large.

Video games: Not prompted, but I play them. If you've got a familiarity with them, you might have even guessed one!

1) The Internet. My god, how did society ever manage without this?

2) My smartphone. All too useful to have (1) in my pocket. That said, I'm not one of Those People who have their noses constantly buried in their phone. I judge those people.

3) Good beer. I guess I'm a beer snob by the standard definition, but I think it's backwards. When there's a wide variety of IPAs, stouts, Belgians, pilsners, hefeweizens, and all the other styles too numerous to list out there, I say the person who ignores them all in favor of the American light lager is the real snob.

4) Mental stimulation. Yeah, a bit broad and can be fulfilled by many things, but to give an example, I generally prefer playing a video game to watching a typical TV show or movie. TV and movies can fall too easily into being a passive experience, and if that happens, I get bored. Even if I'm playing a brainless shooter, I still need to have enough brains to be actively engaged.

5) Hot water. You might think this is one of those throw-away I'm trying to fill out six items answers, but have you ever had a water heater crap out on you over a holiday weekend? Even in the Austin heat, ice cold showers are not a pleasant experience.

6) A Roomba. OK, this one is that throw-away answer.

The "geek" label (or functional equivalents, such as "nerd"), and what it might or might not mean for someone to call themselves that. I see a lot of people say that they're geeks, and I find nothing wrong with that. Indeed, I subscribe to the notion that anyone who wants to be a geek gets to be a geek (and yes, that the whole "fake geek girl" thing is a plate of bullshit and chips). But I wonder if the label has gotten so broad as to lose most of the currency it held.

For example, I've seen people define themselves as geeks primarily by being superfans of Joss Whedon. A valid mark. However, I hold the opinion that Firefly was a good TV series, but not quite great. Does that diminish my geek credentials? Or to reverse it, how do I react to a self-professed geek who does not enjoy video games when I love them?

There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind.

Game night with friends. This is typically board games, with Ticket to Ride being something of the current favorite. That said, there's also talk of trying to get some local multiplayer video gaming going on, with possibly Artemis (imagine a Star Trek bridge) or NintendoLand (think pure, unbridled happiness).

It's not typical, but I used to do karaoke regularly. I want to do that again.

Where my mind goes with this one is a story I have about the most frightened I've ever been in my entire life. It's not exactly private, mainly because it's a good story, but I'd say it shares a similar space in an intimate sense.

The Cliff's Notes version of the story is that I was middle school-aged, and outside of the US for the first time in my life. While attempting to get over jet lag on the first day of the vacation, I fell asleep in the middle of the day and somehow or another sleepwalked out of the house I was staying in, and did not come to until I was trying to walk into some other house in the neighborhood. I didn't speak the local language, but the guy there was mostly cool in trying to convey that no, this is not where I'm supposed to be.

I did somehow keep my wits about me enough to make it back to the house I was staying at, but I was crazy freaked out about the whole ordeal the whole time. Outside the obvious challenges, every house in the neighborhood was a two-story red brick house, so they sort of blended into each other if you didn't know what you were looking for. Oh, and I wandered out barefoot, and it was summer. So burning my feet on sidewalks and pavement the entire time wasn't helping.

You have something to say beyond "Hi." I appreciate the greeting, but I'm not sure what you expect me to say back beyond "Hi to you too," which feels a tad bit lazy. Give me something substantial, something to dig in to, something that makes me feel so incredibly compelled to respond so that my life feels a little less incomplete.

Or alternatively, if you know a good place for karaoke that's got a laid-back atmosphere and a more or less friendly crowd. I need to find a new place.