I'm interested in cooking and eating great food, learning new skills, traveling, adventuring and buying bananas and Chapstick for homeless folks.

When people ask if I'm a dog person, I'm all like, "They starting crossbreeding people and dogs?!!"

I work in the business development side of a medium-sized software company. The good news is that I travel really frequently for work. The bad news is that sometimes I forget my bathing suit, so I can't swim in the hotel pool.

I think that a growth mindset is important, so I try to surround myself with smart folks who are interested in rad things.

I tend to be over-zealous in my pursuit of new activities and hobbies. So hey, if you also want to learn how to kite-surf in the Dominican Republic this winter, you better court me. Or just say hi.

Explaining things in the simplest way possible. At least that's what my physical therapist told me. Or pyschatrist. I always get those ones confused.

I'm becoming a very proficient cook; I've been going through Julia Child's "Mastering the Art of French Cooking," and Bourdain's "Les Halles Cookbook" and adopting the recipes to paleo.

How fucking zen I am. But seriously, I'm taking up zen buddhism and trying to be less of a fuck.

What kind of steak I should make for lunch.

Probably drunkenly pawing at you in a bar, saying hilarious things and then exchanging numbers. Sorry I didn't call you. I don't remember the conversation. Your hair looks great though. Good job.

I'm allergic to dogs. I'm also allergic to girls who think their dog is their boyfriend.

You're a Paleo eating foodie who has passion for life and wants to be my friend

Or, if you have a great ass.

Oh, and you have to live in Lakeview. Or at least not fucking Wicker Park, I mean come on. You can’t be an actress. You can’t not smoke. At least, you can’t be one of those girls who won’t even take a drag after three glasses of wine. Because if you’re one of them, I know you’ll never fuck me. You have to be better looking than me. You have to be downright good looking, even though I am not that good looking. I am in crazy shape though. I don’t give a shit if you’re out of shape. I’m not going to ask you to lift anything.

I don’t give a shit about your money, job or car. But you probably care about mine. Come on.

I care about your relationship with your dog, meaning—shut the fuck up about your dog. I like dogs but I don’t like you if you have too many pictures of your dog. Believe me, the fucking thing is sick of being your boyfriend. Stop putting up pictures of him. I will not be dating your dog. Unless I’m sure you’re good and passed out.

And I'm kidding. Mostly.