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TheGuestSpeaker

24 M Chicago, IL

My Details

Last Online
Today – 11:21am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Sign
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Sales / Marketing
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My name's Andrew. Born in the suburbs, I graduated from the University of Michigan and moved back to the city for work. I'm bad at putting anything serious in this box so if you have questions I probably have answers.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm basically the Michael Scott of Chicago, which depending on who you are makes me sound really awesome or really lame. Ever wonder where all those pens, paper, and other random junk in your office comes from? I'm the wizard who convinced someone in your purchasing department to buy it. I tried to get you better coffee too, but they said no. Sorry.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Cooking, cleaning, skimming a pool, and taking our future kids to soccer practice in the minivan while you go to work... Let me be your trophy husband baby...

If that's not your style a more honest answer:
Making playlists for parties, getting hit by cars (it's happened), teaching groups of people drinking games, ignoring any and all obligations be them social or otherwise to watch a Blackhawks game, growing a beard, cooking (I'm Italian, it comes with the territory), consuming way more Jack Daniels than anyone my size should be able to, cutting in line, getting tattoo artists to make the designs in my head materialize how I want, impressing parents and old folks.

Basically I'm only bad at not thinking of things I'm really good at...
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"Wow...that guy has a body that makes Ryan Gosling look like a beanbag chair..."

Seriously though I have no idea, you tell me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Sushi, Cereal, Pizza... In that order

Music: Such a loaded question. Think of it this way, if the answer to the below question is "no" I probably listen to it...

"If I see this band live will I be covered in lamb's blood/punched by gothic mosh members/at a Cher concert?"

***I also have a ton of vinyl so if you have some to share that's bonus points***

Books: Harry Potter, Great Gatsby, Crime and Punishment, The Alchemist, The Historian.

Movies: Zero Dark Thirty, The Bourne Series, Finding Forrester. I don't really have a set genre and will go to pretty much whatever you want if coke slushies and popcorn are involved.

TV: I don't really watch much TV at all, Game of Thrones and Hawks games are about it...
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I was going to say stuff like "my family" but assuming those are implied and were talking about "things":
Music
My Car
My IPhone
Good Running Shoes
Weekends
Au Cheval burgers
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why Head and Shoulders shampoo's marketing department has yet to make a follow up conditioner called "Knees and Toes"

If I'm too old to go to Space Camp.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I would hope that no one under the age of forty has a "typical" Friday night...

Normally I'm out trying to make the most of the fact that I don't have work again until Monday.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
This is like my own little box to do "Confessions:Part 1" Usher style...

"The Bad Touch" by Bloodhound Gang is on my running playlist, and I enjoy every time it comes on shuffle.

I own a theater quality Gryffindor robe that I use as a bath robe and wear around my apartment.

Sometimes in the Summer I pretend that I am a guest that has lost his key at really fancy hotels in the Loop and sneak up and use their pools. The Peninsula has the best one, it's on the roof in this giant glass enclosure, great view...

As of my current single state, if I were to win the lottery I would spend a small fortune attending red carpet events solely to strike up a relationship with Taylor Swift, and wouldn't even be upset when we broke up as I'd probably get a Billboard Top 100 song written about me.

John Wayne is my spirit animal.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–27
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You get that this profile is meant to be humorous, while I respect the convenience of online "dating" I think that people are much more than a few paragraphs on a website, and this profile is meant to be nothing more than a conversation starter and a brief glimpse into who I am. I am looking to meet smart, adventurous, unique people who want to get off of this site and experience Chicago.

You're okay with the fact that I take my mother to Church on Sundays.

Other than that, if you're intriguing and like to have a good time. Feel free to be proactive, your conversation starter could be something as simple as "Taylor Swift? My favorite celebrity crush is ____"

Or be elaborate and ask my thoughts on the role privateers played during the War of 1812...