I have to come out and say it: I both love and hate my job.

Lately, however, it's tipping more towards hate, so I am happy to say I won't go back to work for another five days!

I am going to San Francisco until next Wednesday, and I am not going to think about anything related to hospitals, mental illness or psychotropic medications until I'm dragged back to my job next Thursday. This calls for celebration!

Just got home from a party at a bar, and I am painfully realizing that my social skills have grown rusty...I used to be able to make conversation with anyone, but a few months of being a sort-of shut in have rendered me slightly crippled. Boy that's an embarrassing thing to post publicly, but there you have it. Making drunken conversation doesn't seem as easy as it used to be!

Anyone else a fan of Top Chef? I love it. I don't normally like reality shows, but Top Chef is a delightful exception. Unfortunately, the past season has been introducing slightly more of the typical reality show douchbaggery that we've come to expect of lesser shows like "The Apprentice" or "Big Brother." That said, nothing is better for foodies than seeing a group of passionate professionals facing inordinate challenges week after week under the scrutiny of some of this country's finest chefs. And a finale in New Orleans? I'm in heaven. I love lots of different kinds of food-Indian, Japanese, Indonesian-but Creole is one of my absolute favorites. I could eat mudbugs and grits all day long (bad news for my circulatory system).

I just got some bad news, namely it's going to be a while before I can sit for my licensing exam for private practice (despite working in the field for more than two years, I have not obtained the right number of hours of supervision required by the state). I am disappointed, as I have planned a lot around getting this license. However, it's a bit freeing--I feel like I have more opportunities for growth now, strangely enough. Still, it's a bit of a kick in the face...

I'm sure many of you have experienced unrequited love. It happens to everyone. But what about unrequited hate? I've never been told that I was hated by anyone (although I am sure there have been some people who simply chose not to say one way or the other). Today, however, someone (specifically, someone I broke up with a while ago and, therefore, someone who has good reason to dislike me) told me that he hated me. It didn't phase me one bit, mostly because I do not hate him. I actually like him--I just don't want to be with him. No nasty words were ever exchanged, no nasty fights, just the end of an era. It's a case of unrequited hate. Again, I think we've all been there. I've felt hatred that was not returned, and I have realized that, like unrequited love, it is a waste of energy and a tragic feeling to have. After all, if you hate someone and that person doesn't mind, the hate is a complete waste of emotional resources. It doesn't hurt my feelings (after all, his anger is natural and understandable)--it just is. So if you hate someone who doesn't hate you back, don't let that hatred consume you. After all, what purpose does it serve?

I'm watching the original "Bedazzled" from 1967 starring Dudley Moore and Peter Cook. It features the Devil as a rather colorful character, as many films do, and it got me to thinking: why is the Devil so easy for people to see in film, but God is so much trickier? Perhaps it is because we all relate to the Devil because he/she just seems so much more human. Or maybe because God is so valued that he/she/it is just beyond depiction. For a human to emulate the Devil makes sense, but for a human to emulate God? Well, I guess we're just not as okay with that on some level. The Devil is fun, sin is interesting...virtue is just a bit too boring. And yes, I did see "Bruce Almighty," but I wasn't really a fan. In Judeo-Christian faith, the Devil is not supposed to be God's equal, and maybe that has something to do with it, too.

I just got home from work and now I am sitting at home, drinking a beer and watching Guy Richie's latest flick, "Rocknrolla." I have to say it's pretty good, considering the crap he put out while he was married to Madonna. It's snowing again and I'm hoping that it won't stick. Perhaps it would have been more appropriate for me to go out and see the latest "Friday the 13th," but I'm a purist...I don't understand why everything has to be remade these days. I miss the good old days when an unknown post-coital Kevin Bacon got stabbed through the neck in the counselor's cabin. I miss the days when Starsky & Hutch was just a crappy TV show. Then again, I love the new Battlestar Galactica so what do I know?

I'm re-watching Joel Schumacher's fabulous 80s teen vampire flick and it still holds up. Sure, it's kind of angst-ridden and Echo-and-The-Bunnymen-laden, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It doesn't make a huge contribution to vampire lore (except for the whole half-vampire, head vampire thing) but the images of Jason Patrick eating maggots and the two Coreys shoving vampires into bathtubs full of holy water will forever set my heart aglow.

Fellow residents of Chicago and other frigid locales, I know you know what I mean. I go out on my back porch, attempt to walk down my stairs and face impending doom. The inches of snow we had some weeks ago have melted and refrozen into a silent sheet of death. It's making me even less likely to want to leave my apartment...I'm not typically an agoraphobic person, but January is pushing me in that direction.

I have never posted a journal entry on this site, but here we go...

I am watching the original "Sabrina" from 1954, one of my all-time favorite films, and I cannot get over how much I can relate to it, even today. Looking back at history, it was a film considered for numerous Academy Awards (best actress, costumes, director, and more). It's not often that you see a romantic comedy up for awards these days--maybe "Shakespeare In Love," but I thought that was greatly overrated. And how often do you see romantic leads attempt suicide in the first act of a romantic comedy? Not often. It might be old, but this film has everything, including a great performance by Audrey Hepburn. So if you're looking for something to do on this frigid evening, take a gander at "Sabrina." You won't be disappointed.