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28 San Francisco, CA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–33
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Jan 23
Heteroflexible, Queer
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Mostly vegetarian
Dropped out of Ph.D program
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
English, Spanish (Okay)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm in love with the universe. I'm currently haunting the Berkeley physics graduate department, although I'm technically supposed to be working in a webdev collective. My original realm of work was cosmology & high energy theory and I intend to return.

I also happen to be an anarchist (second generation, published, friends facing prison... that level). Basically what that means is that I'm really diligent and proactive about ethics. Tackling the material conditions, narratives, infrastructure, game-theoretic space, et al. that make our present society so conducive to sociopathy and communication logjams is a deliciously complicated problem, but definitely solvable. Ask me anything.

I am hella passionate and intense. I endeavor to be, if allowed, empathic and honest to the point of nuance where it becomes tactful again. I am frequently described by people I am close to as piercingly sincere and vigilant. Although they do not always end up considering that a virtue, and virtually everyone finds it unsettling. Partially as a consequence I've long defaulted on habits of hesitancy, shyness, and deference with strangers or acquaintances.

For a year and a half now I have been quite bored with love, or rather with the difficulties, impediments, and wild improbabilities involved in our present social context. If there's anyone out there actually into honest-to-god real human contact then, great, I'll blow your mind. But obviously I didn't create this profile to seduce or dazzle towards that aim. I just moved from Oakland to the city and am looking to meet people. Hi?
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Find important tasks that no one else is doing and do them, find important battles that no one else is fighting and fight them. Constantly seek out and create new perspectives, try to translate or reduce them into each other in as many ways you can find and map the transitions, then take another step back. Seek out those with the least options or connections and figure out how to give them more. Iterate.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm not nearly as cute as my 10th iteration was.

Also: "When I first met you I despised you because you sounded so joyous, like the most joyous person I had ever encountered. I was like, who the hell is this disgustingly posi person? But then later I realized you were bitter and full of snark, and I liked you. Later I realized it was both and they were inseparable, and I was okay with you."

I've always wanted to capitalize on the whole brazen charisma thing by finding some kind of masculinity that would actually play, and I keep making sad efforts at twink hipster geek, but at the end of the day I always default on cuddly academic. This far too frequently ends up frazzled, tired puppydog.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I am of split instincts: On the one hand I love the unabashed passion of geekdoms and delight in exploring complicated particulars and sharing in others' passions. On the other, I viscerally abhor elitism for its own sake, as well as those milieus of expertise which deliberately ignore the multidimensional barriers to entry faced by others.

I'm still in many ways a poor kid from the projects with relatively little experience in a lot of cultural realms. I first learned how to pay at a sit down restaurant when I was 24. I could give you endless sociological analyses of '90s top 40, but anything that would have involved buying shit at some point or having friends who knew friends who knew ^n friends who had enlightened musical taste is largely out. (Torrents are great but you have to know where to start + have a computer.) Anyway, on regular rotation at this very moment: God Help The Girl, The Levellers, Marina & The Diamonds, Metric, chvrches, The Joy Formidable, Taylor Swift, The Mountain Goats, Jimmy Eat World. ...Although I admit this list is more of a litmus test designed to repel people more interested in cultural capital or reinforcing narratives of intellectual elitism than sincerity.

Tell me what anarchopunk saved your life, what the fuck people are even supposed to get out of The Smiths and all that gothy shit, what you most want to dance to when you're alone, and what uncool shit filled you with the fuzzy-wuzzies. Give me something better to listen to than post-rock while I code!

Young me had a library card though, and thus I am supremely qualified to rattle on about virtually anything related to Science Fiction. At some point I will inevitably succumb to the geek juices flowing through my veins and advise you to read Samuel Delany, Ursula K Le Guin, Iain Banks, Ken Macleod, Ted Chiang, and Charlie Stross. But only because I can't list everything. Among other anecdotes, I will probably tell you that I was utterly heartbroken by Le Guin's support for Intellectual Property and feel rage at the betrayal to this day. That Asimov was a fascist, Bradbury a hack, and that the only difference between Orson Scott Card and the liberals that love to express shock at his politics is that at least he had the integrity to explore his support for the state to the logical conclusion of championing genocide. I will tell you that Battlestar Galactica is the worst, most flagrantly anti-intellectual and shockingly conservative piece of alleged "science fiction" ever produced. I will geek out on all the ways A Song of Ice & Fire / Game of Thrones is an explicit critique of fascist narratives in fantasy, but problematically hamfisted on patriarchy. I will tell you that The Wire would never have been possible without Babylon 5 (which I am far too nostalgic for). And I will admit to once having been the Firefly fanboi who argued a producer into changing a scene in the early edit of Serenity where there was some explicit sound in space that wasn't even handwaveable.

Oh, I was raised vegan, but am not anymore (except for health reasons), so that's a thing. (Don't get me wrong, I support animal liberation and the proliferation of vegan culture/norms, just not deontological ethical systems. Virtually all my friends, housemates, and partners have been vegan.)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Figuring shit out. Helping people. Punching bullies. Avocados. Rain. Snuggles.


I'm sure I could do without the fine structure constant.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
At this very moment?
* Tor bridge distribution. Although the general solution will by necessity also clean up issues in game theory, left market economics, and anthropology.
* Visual presentation of associative conceptual structures to shrink various bottlenecks in social communication.

Typically my big long-standing projects have been issues in philosophy and feminism.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Alright, here goes: I had largely no form of social interaction with anyone from the time I was 18 to the time I was 24. Like months without cracking my vocal chords.

From a socially gregarious life in high school I suddenly found myself entirely surrounded by alienating upper-middle-class kids, bit down on a really neat philosophical bullet (preview: "how do you get consent to ask for consent?"), and got trapped. The way I would phrase it I discovered some problems, went off and solved those problems, and when I came back discovered six years had passed.

It is not central to my identity or where I am. I long ago fixed all the damage and rebuilt everything. I am far stronger, more aware and more agile. It just feels silly to try and constantly hide the ever-so-faint scars that riddle me as a result. Like obviously I am lacking most of the standard anecdotes of being a young adult everyone else has. And I still occasionally find myself lapsing into irritation or distance when handling realms of flirtation or expressions of sexuality; a leftover reflex from viewing those as reserved for Other People.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're highly empathetic and passionate about freedom & figuring shit out. You know of a wormhole between Oakland and the Tillamook rainforest that's traversable in skateboard shoes.

I switch and enjoy kink, but don't particularly need it. I'm queer, but more in the sedate, shy, intellectual "yay fluidity and self-hacking" sense than the hedonistic or militant "queer as in fuck you" sense -- although I totally support and crush on folks with the latter approach. Sadly, pretty bored with / not interested in most dudes. Feel free to ignore this if you think we're wildly compatible, though.

I am sick to death with Interesting People, with their interesting hobbies and interesting anecdotes. Fuck that. What I care about are people who Give A Damn. You went to Thailand and trained as an acrobat with the clone of Steve Jobs? Boring as shit. Tell me about something you care about, that's driven you to do things most people would consider insanely contrary your self-interest.

Let's run around late at night talking about the ethics of time travel.