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42 Washington, DC Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 30–45
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Taurus, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from masters program
English (Fluently), French (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
If you knew me in real life, you'd probably have a crush on me. I'm pretty good at a lot of things - I'm pretty smart, pretty funny, and an adequate musician. I try to be considerate and I'm cute. I have better ideas for dates than "Wanna meet up at Lucky Bar?" And as cool as that sounds, I'm even better in practice than in theory.

(It's possible that what I just wrote is a bit tongue in cheek.)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Spending far too much of my free time refreshing my Twitter feed. "What WILL Brain Gaar say next?!"

Also, killing trees and wasting soy ink for a living.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I have a knack for getting women to delete their Ok Cupid accounts after I send them a message.

I prefer to think that their reasoning is, "Oh, what a thoughtful and personalized message. But I'm really not actively looking for someone right now, so I should delete my account rather than waste the time of nice guys like him," rather than, "What the hell kind of pretentious message was that? Did he have to reference *both* Le Corbusier *and* Captain Beefheart in the same message? That's it - I'm deleting my account - no more freaks!"
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My poor hygiene. (Frankly, not being other people, I wouldn't know.)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books - all-time: Absalom, Absalom! - currently: Tenth of December

Movies - all-time: The Godfather - currently: The Third Man (Just saw the re-release in the theater and 1. The cinematography is great and 2. Man, is Orson Welles a commanding presence)

Shows - all-time: The Simpsons - currently: waiting for the second season of Fargo to start

Music - all time: Clash's London Calling - currently: Kendrick Lamar's To Pimp a Butterfly

Food - all time: Fruit Stripe gum - currently: bacon (who am I kidding - bacon is an all-time fave)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
See, Ok Cupid isn't clear what it means by "things." Are we talking about concepts? Individual possessions? Fundamental particles of nature? Out of protest, I will only name three:

Concept: Understanding

Individual possession: Acoustic guitar

Fundamental particle: Higgs boson
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The world - because it's pretty weird, innit?

The nature of consciousness in a deterministic universe.

How OK Cupid mistakenly thinks Buddhism is a religion and not a philosophy.

How I'm not a very good Buddhist. Oh, animals - will I ever stop eating you?

If people who "don't like country or rap" can attend a Major League Baseball game, since that's all the walkup music consists of.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Usually I'm pedantically editing other users' okcupid profiles ("Easygoing is *one* word!") or sobbing softly to myself in the corner because I'm so desperately lonely. Otherwise, I'm probably enjoying drinks with friends from grad school at a dive-y bar.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My account is solely for research purposes; I'm stealing trade secrets as I design my own dystopian online dating service,

But the truth is: I'm totally lying about my age. It's actually half your age plus seven
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You should message me if you believe that any noun can be turned into a verb simply to suit today's modern lifestyles. Otherwise, if you believe in using actual verbs as verbs, you should send me a message.

You should send me a message if your favorite books are by Francis Bacon, your favorite urban designs are by Edmund Bacon, and your favorite films star Kevin Bacon.

But, really, I should probably be the one to contact you. Care to prove me wrong?

Also: sometimes I see the "likes," but I usually I don't.