42 Washington, DC
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My self-summary
Online dating gets it all wrong; we lay it all out up front, when in fact it's more fun to learn about people as you go. A profile should be intriguing enough to trigger the response, "This guy gets it," without getting bogged down in details that probably aren't that important to long-term compatibility ("Oh, he listens to reggae...") and can distract from the kind of connection that is ultimately enduring.

I came from somewhere else, I did something else before I do what I'm doing, and I'm gainfully employed in a job that I find interesting and that you'd find interesting, too. I'm single, never married, and no kids. I don't think there's anything more important in the world than understanding, but I don't know that I'm currently doing enough to bring more understanding into the world. Hopefully we can meet up to talk about all this stuff in person and see if there's a spark.

And although I use a lot of British-isms in my profile, I am, in fact, *not* British.
What I’m doing with my life
Spending far too much of my free time refreshing my Twitter feed. "What WILL Brian Gaar say next?!"
I’m really good at
Showing up to our first date in a fedora and cargo shorts while taking a plug off of my vape rig.
The first things people usually notice about me
My poor hygiene. (Frankly, not being other people, I wouldn't know.)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books - all-time: Absalom, Absalom! - currently: The Infinities

Movies - all-time: The Godfather - currently: The Force Awakens (What can I say - despite being good and not great, I can't help loving something that's been part of my life since I was 5)

Shows - all-time: The Simpsons - currently: now that the second season of Fargo is over, just waiting for Broad City season three

Music - all time: Clash's London Calling - currently: Hop Along's Painted Shut (OMFG IS IT AWESOME I CAN'T STOP LISTENING

Food - all time: Fruit Stripe gum - currently: bacon (who am I kidding - bacon is an all-time fave)
The six things I could never do without
See, Ok Cupid isn't clear what it means by "things." Are we talking about concepts? Individual possessions? Fundamental particles of nature? Out of protest, I will only name three:

Concept: Understanding

Individual possession: Acoustic guitar

Fundamental particle: Higgs boson*

*Or is there EVEN MORE than the Higgs?!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The world - because it's pretty weird, innit?

The nature of consciousness in a deterministic universe.

How OK Cupid mistakenly thinks Buddhism is a religion and not a philosophy.

How I'm not a very good Buddhist. Oh, animals - will I ever stop eating you?

If people who "don't like country or rap" can attend a Major League Baseball game, since that's all the walkup music consists of.
On a typical Friday night I am
Usually I'm pedantically editing other users' okcupid profiles ("Easygoing is *one* word!") or sobbing softly to myself in the corner because I'm so desperately lonely. Otherwise, I'm probably enjoying drinks with friends from grad school at a dive-y bar.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
My account is solely for research purposes; I'm stealing trade secrets as I design my own dystopian online dating service,

But the truth is: I'm totally lying about my age. It's actually half your age plus seven
You should message me if
You should message me if you believe that any noun can be turned into a verb simply to suit today's modern lifestyles. Otherwise, if you believe in using actual verbs as verbs, you should send me a message. (Even if verbifying has been going on for centuries.

You should send me a message if your favorite books are by Francis Bacon, your favorite urban designs are by Edmund Bacon, and your favorite films star Kevin Bacon.

But, really, I should probably be the one to contact you. Care to prove me wrong?

Also: sometimes I see the "likes," but I usually I don't.