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TheNextBigChing

32 M Toronto, Ontario, CA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 7:09am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Height
Body Type
Diet
Smokes
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Sign
Education
Job
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
First off, I hope you're not disappointed at the lack of shirtless pics in front of the mirror. Just for the record, the reason I chose not to include shirtless pics is not because it’s a douchebag thing to do. Nope. The true reason is that I have no 6 pack to show off. Trust me, if I had a 6 pack, my profile would be nothing but shirtless pics. I would even have a picture of my 6 pack as my computer’s desktop wallpaper. I suppose I could take a picture of my chest and photoshop a 6 pack on, but I lack the photoshop skills to pull that off. So, if you're looking for an awesome photoshopper with a great 6 pack, you may want to click away from this profile.

Maybe I should be the first person ever to bombard my profile with nothing but me taking pictures of myself in the front of the mirror, while using the shake weight, in every single recommended infomercial position. I just may do that! Stay tuned...

Writing a profile for myself is really difficult. But, maybe my struggle to write a good profile about myself shows a lack of narcaccism, which is good, right? Though if narcaccists are your thing, you should probably click to another profile. At least know I would never cheat on you with a clone of myself.

I’m a comedy writer. Hopefully the jokes I wrote above made you laugh or at least smile. If not, then I have failed miserably at my craft. My humor is typically a mix of South Park dark comedy with the raunchy humor of Judd Apatow. I try to throw in small doses of philosophy as well.

These profiles are weird. It’s like you’re marketing yourself like a brand name. You’re creating this image of yourself and “If you click this profile and send me a message, I will enter your life and make it...AWESOME!”...with that in mind, people in marketing should be the best at writing these dating profiles...not writers. Yeah, that’s what I’ll tell myself if people think this profile is bad.

If you click on this profile, and we start getting to know each other, will your life become awesome? I don't really know how to answer that. I'll just be safe and say...maybe. Life is a long unknown path of maybes. I could be the one unnoticable speed bump, or the one to change your path completely. Okay, road metaphors aren't my thing. If you're good at road metaphors, help me out here.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Movies: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Adaptation, Matchstick Men, To Be or Not To Be, Pleasantville, Singin in the Rain, City of God, Finding Nemo, Punch Drunk Love, Magnolia, Hannah and her Sisters, 500 Days of Summer, Little Miss Sunshine, The Weather Man, The Savages, Before Sunrise & Before Sunset, Moonstruck, Mary & Max, The Grey, Waking Life, The Descent

Music: Fun, Reel Big Fish, The Format, The Straylight Run, 1997, The Creepshow, Fake Problems, Valencia, Strung Out, Thrice, A Wilhelm Scream, Bayside, Jacks Mannequin, Four Year Strong, The Rocket Summer, The Forecast, Head Automatica, Hellogoodbye, My Chemical Romance, The Used, No use for a name

Shows: Six Feet Under, South Park, Frasier, Pushing Daisies, U.S of Tara, Dexter, Californication, Workaholics, Curb your Enthusiasm, It's Always sunny in Philadelphia, Through the wormhole with Morgan Freeman, Freaks & Geeks, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Real time with Bill Maher, Superjail!, The Inbetweeners, The Office (British version), Corner Gas
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–34
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating