Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Leftie Liberal douche with an acquired taste for music that is
sonically unacceptable to most healthy - minded individuals. I'm
also known to occasionally perform these aural violations for the
amusement of 5 perpetually cross-armed pub regulars in venues that
smell of ill-aimed urine and male sweat glands.
I have dreams of a vagabond lifestyle. Now that some aspects of my
life have improved I plan on travelling various areas of Europe
over the next few years. If the idea of being in strange lands with
a yeti-looking motherfucker like me has an appeal to you, you could
be onto something.
If you aren't immediately repulsed by my tiny eyes and the Humber
bridge that is my schnoz, whey! You're on the highway to the danger
I also enjoy the comic workings of Stewart Lee, George Carlin, Doug
Stanhope, Richard Herring, Bill Bailey, Reginald D Hunter et al. As
well as the comedy writings of Chris Morris and Armando
These things are hard work you know. Being interesting is a
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm an office bod nowadays, so when I get out of work I can untuck
my shirt and go to some trendy bar/restaurant and look like some
sort of eligible batchelor twat. So I've got that going for me. I
am considering perpetuating my hippie liberal stereotype by trying
to get into renewable energy.
It's not like I can make a living playing a fucking guitar eh?
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Nothing much else really.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Oh, Stephen Merchant has let himself go.
Oh, Mackenzie Crook has let himself go.
Oh, the ensemble cast of Vikings have let themselves go.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I'm going to be straight with you here. I'm a late comer to the
world of printed fiction. Spending years being a slave to the more
easily digestible media of games, TV, movies etc.
But in the last few months i've been making a change and I have
started to make reading a regular thing. So recently, I have
Brave New World
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
Catcher in the Rye
Johnny Got His Gun
The Sprawl Trilogy
Heart of Darkness
The Truman Show
Ghost in the Shell
Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Scent of a Woman
The People vs. Larry Flynt
Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence
Anything generally related to Chris Morris or Armando
Stand Alone Complex
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
Mostly that Devil music. Or when i'm angry just play anything with
Lisa Gerrard's voice on it.
You may also ridicule my musical taste here:
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
A Guitar with a whammy bar.
Hairbands. Nothing worse than eating chips with a side-dressing of
your own hair.
Fine mature cheddar.
The smooth voice of Matt Berry.
Reddit on my phone.
The sixth answer in the six things I could never do without.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How much this country is going to get completely fucked in the next
And about how great it would be if Richard Littlejohn and anyone
who associates with either the Daily Mail or the Sun could comedown
with some kind of degenerative disease.
And why I can't be this eloquent in person.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Obviously in my matt-black painted room with Occult ornaments and
candles strewn about, preparing for another virgin sacrifice.
Or interrupting a netflix marathon because i'll more-than-likely be
up early for work on Saturday morning.
Whichever one you find most interesting and/or comforting.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I use this bloody site because i'm far too socially inept to
engage with new people in person.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Reading this profile doesn't make you want to vomit/piss/shit all
at the same time. If you only do two out of the three you should be
Oh, and don't be a UKIP/Tory voting, right-wing douche-canoe. This
is quite important.
Who are you looking for?
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