Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
There are men.
There are women.
They're not the same.
I'm a man.
You're a woman.
We're not equal: I can't do what you do; but you can't do what I
do. That's why we're great together.
I open doors for you. I pull out your chair. I pick up the tab and
walk you to your door.
You grab my arm and make every other man in the joint jealous of
Sound old fashioned? It is.
About a few hundred thousand years old.
I like it that way.
If you haven't tried it, you should. Nothing beats leaving all the
politically correct touchy-feelies behind, wondering why they're
miserable and we're not.
I'm sure you're great at whatever it is you do. You're probably
"living life to the fullest" (whatever that means) and into your
yoga, maybe a little dog and spike stilettos. That's women stuff.
And I love you for it.
But I'm not into yoga. I have a big dog. I have a
great life, but I don't spend it jumping out of airplanes or going
to hipster concerts. And my appreciation for your stiletto heels
run more along my notions of prurience than fashion.
I want you because you're a real woman. And if that's
sexist, so be it.
Let's do this.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I can tell you how I'm NOT spending my life: Rooting for some
football or basketball team. Sitting in the bleachers watching a
bunch of over-inked goons lumbering back and forth is not my idea
of optimizing our mutual pleasure.
I know. I'm impossible.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making you feel like the most important person in the world,
because to me, you probably are.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
...the smirk on my face, the sparkle in my eye, the tongue in my
cheek. I get a lot of compliments on my hands.
I'm also very honest. For example, the first thing I think about
when I meet you is what you'd be like in bed. Don't sweat it.
I'll be a total gentleman.
I won't say anything about it.
But I'll be thinking it.
Look, I told you I was a man.
There's your proof.
You can't say you weren't warned.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
GoodFellas, Zardoz, Heat, What the Bleep Do We Know,
The Great Race, The Artist, The Sixth Sense, Walk Hard, Hoffman,
Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
I don't do chick flicks because I'm not gay.
Italian gets me every time. I fear no gluten.
: I regret that most people use music as a crutch to
avoid real interaction with the world and others. I like music, but
unlike so many others here, it's not
my religion. Then
again, this may be my favorite song of all time.
Biographies, mostly. Everyone's got an interesting
story, including you, if you want to tell it to me over drinks.
<--- Date hint.
Dancing? Okay. But not your bump and grind or hip hop crap. If I'm
going to dance with you, it's going to be something where I can
slip my arm around your waist, hold you close and gaze into your
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
And five other things I could tell you, but prefer to show you in
real time because they involve pillows.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Slender/curvy women...and how I'm probably the man you're looking
for, but will likely get passed by because, regrettably, I'm not as
photogenic as I should be and this is online dating, after
all, where visuals rule.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
...the very same man I was Thursday night.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I consider the three greatest inventions of all time to be the
wheel, the internet and the Brazilian Wax...but not
necessarily in that order.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
1. You're a real woman, as opposed to a little girl looking to be
2. You agree that most men in West Los Angeles are actually more
like women with penises.
3. You prefer men to cats.
4. You're not bitter.
5. You're Sapiosexual
6. You're done having kids and/or don't want kids.
7. You're looking for someone with whom you can ride off into the
8. You can handle it.
9. You're not an actress, dancer, model or any other kind of
performer addicted to constant approval.
10. You don't bore other people with how wonderful yoga is.
SPECIAL OFFER: Use promo code:
"I JUST WAXED." <- It's a joke. Lighten up.
Anyway, if you're too shy to reach out, drop a reasonable hint that
even a moron could get and I'll take it from there. I'm a paid
member, so I know if you've visited -- you might as well say hello.
If I don't answer, it's probably saving you a lot of time, believe
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