Still here? Read on:
There are men. There are women. They're not the same.
I'm a man. You're a woman. We're different. I open doors for you. I pull out your chair. I pick up the tab and walk you to your door. You grab my arm and make every other man in the joint jealous of me. Sound old fashioned? It is. A few hundred thousand years old. I like it that way. If you haven't tried it, you should. Nothing beats leaving all the politically correct touchy-feelies behind, wondering why they're miserable and we're not.
I'm sure you're great at whatever it is you do. You're probably "living life to the fullest" (whatever that means) and into your yoga, maybe a little dog and spike stilettos. That's women stuff. And I love you for it. But I'm not into yoga. I have a big dog. I have a great life, but I don't spend it jumping out of airplanes or going to acting classes or hipster concerts. I view man buns and ink as manifestations of male insecurity. And my appreciation for your stiletto heels run more along my notions of prurience than fashion.
I want you because you're a real woman. And if that's sexist, so be it.
I also use minced garlic in my tuna salad. That's right, I'm an outlaw.
I don't do chick flicks because I'm not gay.
Food: Italian gets me every time. I fear no gluten.
Music: I regret that most people use music as a crutch to avoid real interaction with the world and others. I like music, but unlike so many others here, it's not my religion.
Books: Biographies, mostly. Everyone's got an interesting story, including you, if you want to tell it to me over drinks. <--- Date hint.
And five other things I could tell you, but prefer to show you in real time because they involve pillows. 👙
2. You agree that most men in West Los Angeles are actually more like women with penises.
3. You prefer men to cats.
4. You're not bitter.
5. You're Sapiosexual
6. You're done having kids and/or don't want kids.
7. You're looking for someone with whom you can ride off into the sunset.
8. You can handle it.
9. You're not addicted to constant approval.
10. You don't bore other people with how wonderful yoga is. Love how flexible you are, just don't need to hear about it.
SPECIAL OFFER: First woman to message me with promo code: "I JUST WAXED." receives an evening of martinis.
It's a joke. Lighten up.
Anyway, I'm here because there's probably no other way I'd ever get to meet you. If you're too shy to reach out, drop a reasonable hint that even a moron could get and I'll take it from there. I'm a paid member, so I know if you've visited -- you might as well say hello. If I don't answer, it's probably saving you a lot of time, believe me.