I am horrible at keeping my own resolutions... oh dear. Ah, C'est la vie.
It's been an interesting patch since I wrote last. I've decided to drop out of college for a bit, met some new people, almost bought a gun, and generally run around in circles. Damn I'm no good a journal entries... I'm out of practice...
Of note for okcupid is that I've changed my sexuality. There are a number or reason for this (and I now feel like I'm writing a paper, Lord I am out of practice)... The most important reason is probably because I consider myself more bi-curious than bi-sexual, but its followed strongly by the fact that lots of sketchy men are viewing my profile, and I have very little interest in being chatted up by 36 year old guys...
Finally, and this perhaps touches on more things than just my sexuality, I am annoyed by how difficult it is to accurately represent me on OkCupid. I've been told that if an author attempted to write me their editor would shoot the character down, saying he's too unrealistic, give him a set personality and stick to it. I am an odd amalgam of conservative moral values, liberal acceptance of others, obscene horninies and an almost prudish streak in the way I choose to conduct (or attempt to conduct) my self in relationships. I'm an uber nerd in a lot of ways, even at William and Mary I'm a little geeky in so far as my interests are concered, but I'm well socially adjusted: aside from my occasional rants about psychology, or physiology and politics I come off as damn near normal to most of the people I meet. But I still really cherish that geek side.
Conveying all of this in a profile is bloody near impossible, and I'm not sure I really want to try, but I'm afraid/annoyed by the fact that there are people on this sight that I really think I'd gel with, that won't talk to me because I didn't put something exactly right in my profile.
Damn, mais c'est la vie, vraiment?

Maybe I should read some other peoples entries before I try one of my own… but that would be too intelligent. Plus I’m already here, writing, and that’s what I love. So I may as well do it. This should be fun...
Speaking of fun I should probablly listen to something less depressing than Johnny Cash's unchained when I'm writing here, after all I'm trying to attract to people, not chase them off...
Its been forever since I last kept a journal, since freshman year of college come to think of it. Back then I was scribbling in a little moleskin, trying to capture my days so I could give them to my girlfriend when we went back to school in August. It was great practice writing, and even better practice noticing and watching, unfortunately I lost that moleskin. Come to think of it I’ve lost every journal I’ve tried to keep… At any rate I could use the practice again I’ve gotten out of the habit of writing daily, which isn’t good for an aspiring author (God doesn’t that sound pretentious?) but what’s worse for me as an author and as a person I’ve gotten out of the habit of looking and noticing.
I may as well have stopped living, because to me if you’re really living your life you’re doing your damndest to notice everything, to see everything.
I remember telling stories in the caf freshman year and watching my friends reactions. They always told me I had such an interesting life, but I don’t reckon my life is any more interesting than theirs. I just bothered to live mine, and that’s why I have the stories to tell.
But I’m rambling again, see I have gotten out of practice writing. Then again I am working on a long short story, and a short-short, and a book or two (ah but how well are they coming along, and how many of them got their starts as assignments?)
Ah, rambling again! See?! So since I obviously need practice I guess I’ll try and keep up this journal, if not daily then at least I can update it from time to time when something interesting happens, or if I write something fun.