Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

TheWien

33 Austin, TX Man

Man

Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–38
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Height
6′ 5″ (1.96m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Buddhism
Sign
Gemini, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from two-year college
Job
Technology
Income
$40,000–$50,000
Status
Single
Type
Strictly monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Japanese (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: "Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
'My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away..


There is nothing I can say that can sum me up, OKCupid! I DEFY you, boldly!!!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Professionally, I make vidya gamez.

Outside of that, I engage in various creative endeavors (lots of writing). I also partake in the local comedy scene, I am a big fan of comedy in general.

Oh, and I love cooking. And being black.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making puppies feel bad about themselves by way of sarcastic barbs and ironic verbal abuse.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am a tall individual. After that... probably my height.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Anything by H.P. Lovecraft (Call of Cthulhu, The Color Out of Space, The Shadow Over Innsmouth), Nickel and Dimed, Confessions of an Economic Hitman, Secret History of the American Empire, Diablo and Warcraft series, Enders Game. I'm a fan of a good political read, as well.

Movies: I love comedies. Bowfinger, 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked up, etc. I love sketch comedy. Ghostbusters is my favorite movie all time. I've become something of a movie buff lately, so some of my current favorites are Interstellar, Gone Girl, Blue Ruin, Pulp Fiction (always a classic), American Movie, Kung Fu Elliot....

Music: Rock, Indie Rock, Pop Rock, Emo, Screamo, Punk, Post Hardcore, Experimental, Instrumental, Jazz, Jazz Fusion, Break Beats, Trip Hop, Hip Hop, J-Rock, Shoegazer, Surf Rock

Baths, The National, Aspidistrafly, Mobb Deep, Palms, Madvillain, DJ Shadow, Hammock, This Will Destroy You, Steely Dan, Boz Skags, The Doobie Brothers, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Meyvn, Acid, American Football, Nature Living, The Casket Lottery, Appleseed Cast, The Owls, Oceanlane, New Starting Over, Counterfit, Buddhistson, Sleeping at Last, Sunny Day Real Estate, Sponge, Sparta, Smashing Pumpkins, Hayden, 30 Seconds to Mars, Elliott, Gatsby's American Dream, Thrice, Thursday, Recover, Preserve the Sound, Dream Theater, Rush, Luna Sea, Sugizo, Inoran, J, Die!!Die!!Color!!!, Balzac, Death Cab for Cutie, The Deftones, Mogwai, Explosians in the Sky, Mono, Iron Maiden, Edguy, Blind Gaurdian, Hammerfall, The Mad Capsule Markets, Walrus, Matchbook Romance, And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead, At the Drive In, Open Hand, Karate, Hayden, Lost City Angels, Poison the Well, Winslow, Unearth, Kagerou, Dir en Grey, Rhapsody (of Fire), DragonForce, From Autumn to Ashes, A Static Lullaby, Anatomy of a Ghost, Make Believe, Owen, Mineral, Maritime, Enigma (thats right, bitch!), etc

Music I DON'T like: Godsmack, Puddle of Mudd, Adema, POD, Coal Chamber, Korn, Spineshank, Sevendust, Marilyn Manson, Nine Inch Nails, Creed, Default, Maroon 5, 3 Doors Down, Seven Mary Three, Three Days Grace, any other band with Three in the name, Mindless Self Indulgence, LIT, Skrillex

Food: Asian food (Korean, Thai, Japanese), good ol fashioned AMERICAN CHEESEBURGERS, any sort of gourmet cuisine
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Music and Comedy
2. Wine and delicious beers and brews
3. Football (Longhorns and Buffalo Bills. Yeah that's right.)
4. FOOD.
5. Travel... although I have been without that for a while :(
6. Any sort of creative outlet
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Out and about, being out and about.

If there is no outness involved in my rampant aboutness, then it is typically replaced by nerdiness. Regardless of the situation, fun is usually had by all parties involved.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I speak like Frasier Crane, and have no shame in it. In fact, I find that this makes me a little bit of a badass.

I have seen Failure to Launch. Never said I liked it.... I've just seen it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Let's face facts, you very likely aren't going to message me. So I'm going to use this space as advertising space.

Guys, you need to get in on some Bonobos. Now my friends have heard me talk about Bonobos a lot, but you might be asking "What's Bonobos? Are you having a stroke?" No I'm not having a stroke, you fucking moron. Let me answer before you start spouting off half-baked assumptions. Do you fancy yourself a clothing fan? A fashion connoisseur of sorts? Well then maybe you should go to www.bonobos.com and see for yourself! Summer is right around the corner, and here in Austin, you'll want to be prepared for those hellish days. Bonobos HAS. YOU. COVERED. And it will all be super stylish. You'll impress everyone, and maybe even get more likes on OKCupid. Yeah, it does that. Just go to www.bonobos.com and use the offer code NEWCUSTOMER20 to get 20% off your first order, plus free shipping! DO EET NOW!

(pay me, Bonobos)