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21 M Arlington, MA

My Details

Last Online
Today – 3:50pm
5′ 3″ (1.60m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
When drinking
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Cancer, and it’s fun to think about
Working on university
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Has dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Let's be honest, the idea of anyone summarizing *themselves* is completely ludicrous. We're all defined by how others perceive us, and apparently it only takes two sentences for me to dive headfirst into the Cliche Pit.

But, okay. Short, skinny, snarky, sweary, silly, spiffy, swanky, snazzy. Those last few may not actually be true, but they're some of my favorite words. Variously known as Dan, Daniel, Danny, and DanCave (there's a freshman-year-of-college story behind that one). A punk rocker, aspiring actor, history nerd, nerd in general, video gamer, and words enthusiast. If I had to describe myself using a band, it would be the Replacements, and if you don't know them, you should ask me what that means and also go listen to the freakin' Replacements. 21 years old, currently staring into the the dark, limitless void of adulthood, alternately screaming "WOO AW YEAH REAL WORLD" and "FUCK. THAT. SHIT." Sarcasm and stupid puns are as indispensable to me as books and music are. My sleep schedule is usually in a state I like to call "completely screwed" (it's a technical term), because convincing myself to go to bed is always an uphill battle, and once I'm there of course I never want to leave it. In between school and work, I wish I could get back into rock climbing, paintball, and other things I did all the time when I was sixteen.

A little more seriously, I might as well make it clear that I absolutely despise dishonesty, intolerance (especially, for rather personal reasons, homophobia and the shaming of those with mental illnesses), and anything that could loosely be described as "bullshit." I'm extremely straightforward and leave little unsaid, and I try to encourage others to be the same way. I also self-identify as a feminist, and no, I'm not just saying that to seem like That Cool Guy.. I'm a good weird liberal Massachusetts punk rocker, and since the eradication of inequality and injustice is always a damn good aspiration, it almost seems like something that shouldn't need to be said. (Also, apparently I sound way more serious here than I actually am in real life. Kind of a goofball, really.)

If you have a good short joke, please tell it to me because I love them. I swear I'm not being sarcastic. I'll tell you my favorite one if you ask.
What I’m doing with my life
Right now I'm studying history and theatre (acting) in the honors program at Umass Amherst. During the summer I sell overpriced bullshit to tourists, meaning I'm a sales rep for Old Town Trolley in Boston. It's not a bad gig, but I'm often very bored and hence on here a lot, and always looking for new people to talk to. Recently embarked on an audacious campaign to get less skinny, aptly named Operation: Get Less Skinny.

Long term? Hell if I know. Used to think I'd want to wind up teaching college, then got first-hand experience with academia and realized I probably want to stay far, far away from it. Teaching at a secondary or lower level would still be cool. Thinking about going into law, which would probably be criminal or some sort of speciality where I could actually help people who deserve it. But if I had my choice, I'd act or write professionally, or—given a miracle—start a band and do that. Speaking of which, if you live in the Amherst/Northampton area and play bass or drums and like punk rock, let me know..
I’m really good at
Making words do the word thing, puns, listening (or so I've been told), acting (I hope), adventuring, telling people about Boston, taking standardized tests (which *totally* matters in real life) shooting things off people's heads with Nerf guns, playing power chords and three-note guitar solos very fast and sloppily. Writing songs about liberal politics, girls with peculiar names, anxiety and insecurity, the city of Boston, and alcoholic ex-criminals with gambling debts getting whacked by their creditors and dumped in shitty rivers in upstate New York.

According to my best friend: "Dan you have the butt dialing skills of a god"
Me: "I'm not even sure how that happened, given I'm not wearing pants right now..."
The first things people usually notice about me
My terrifying and imposing figure, of course. Though 5'3" really ain't so bad considering I was born weighing about two pounds and could fit in the palm of my dad's hand (another story there). Besides that...intense cheekbones, maybe? And that I have a weird sense of humor and tend to speak sort of elaborately while swearing a lot.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Music: Rock in most forms, but punk rock above all. The Clash, Ramones, Green Day, Rancid, Social Distortion, The Replacements (Paul Westerberg is one of the greatest songwriters of all time), The Offspring, Rise Against, The Hives, The Bouncing Souls, Foo Fighters, Dropkick Murphys, Talking Heads, blink-182, Sum 41, Billy Talent, Husker Du, Pennywise, Descendents, The Who, Led Zeppelin, The Kinks, The Beatles Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Nirvana, Alice in Chains, Iron Maiden, Metallica, The Decemberists, The Mountain Goats.
If you listen to Dire Straits—actually, if you've even ever heard of them—you just earned some serious Bonus Points.

Books: favorite genres are science fiction, alternate history, and extremely entertaining Hunter S. Thompson-esque stories about fucked up shit. Plus a healthy selection of classics. Orson Scott Card (Ender's Game is my favorite book ever, despite the author being an ultra-conservative, homophobic dickbag), Harry Turtledove, and S.M Stirling are my favorite authors. The Catcher in the Rye, 1984, Animal Farm, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, A Clockwork Orange, Slaughterhouse-Five, The Great Gatsby, Naked Lunch, On The Road. Anything Shakespeare, any time, though I slightly prefer actually acting it to just reading it. Favorite comedy is A Midsummer Night's Dream, favorite tragedy is Macbeth or Hamlet, favorite history is Henry V. World War Z, Looking For Alaska, Band of Brothers, anything else by Stephen Ambrose.

TV: Family Guy, Band of Brothers, The Pacific, 24, Rescue Me, Homicide, Homeland, Fargo, Seinfeld, Arrested Development, Curb Your Enthusiasm. I don't actually watch that much TV, really.

For movies, I like Quentin Tarantino, the Coen Brothers, anything with Will Ferrell in it, historical war films, sic-fi stuff... I like most movies, but I don't watch them too often. This should change.

I'll try pretty much any food at least once. Burritos, Italian, and seafood are my favorites. Pasta goes with anything. And despite my best efforts I'm pretty sure I've never reached 110 pounds.

ALL the video games. Anything open world (Fallout above everything), Just Cause 2, Far Cry, Red Dead Redemption, GTA, older Call of Duty games, real-time strategy in general especially the Total War series and Company of Heroes, Civilization, SimCity, Bioshock, Spec Ops: The Line.

Huge fan of xkcd and Questionable Content.
The six things I could never do without
Music (in a pinch I'll take three chords and the truth, and I'm assuming this includes my guitar and amp), books, friends I can trust, snark and sarcasm, cuddling, Internet. And although I could do without it, gin and tonics are easily my favorite drink and I would be quite sad without them. There's a story behind that, too.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Trying to shorten this damn profile. Where I'm going with my life. Possible new song lyrics. The nature of consciousness and self-awareness, and other pretentious stuff. I know saying "I think about everything" is another one of those cliches, but it's legitimately true, and part of the reason I like talking to new people so much is that it keeps me from getting wrapped up in my own head.
On a typical Friday night I am
It varies. Sometimes going to a party with friends or playing at a local open mic night when I'm in school. When I'm home, usually with a great group of friends, hanging out in the Arboretum with a little bonfire and a few beers, enjoying good company and maybe having the occasional drunken campfire singalong.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm pretty sure I'm straight, but I may have a tiny man crush on Billie Joe Armstrong. Also, sometimes I update this profile while slightly tipsy and get waaay too into it.

(Alright, if we're being all straightforward here, the *actual* most private thing I'm willing to admit is probably something sexual, but I really don't want to come off as That Guy Who Talks About Sexual Stuff In His Profile, so ask me if you actually want to know.)
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–23
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
For any reason, really. Maybe if you want to have a Real Conversation with a Real Person, or want to go do Fun Things sometime. And, of course, if your name is Sheena and/or you are a punk rocker. (Ramones jokes!)

Also, the "casual sex" thing is there because right now I'm pretty much open to whatever comes my way, but casual sex is not by any means the only thing I'm looking for. I am also perfectly fine with being only friends with people I meet here; even if it's not ideal, if I think you're cool I'd damn well rather be friends with you than nothing!