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The_11th-Hour

21 M Amherst, MA

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 3″ (1.60m)
Body Type
Skinny
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
When drinking
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Cancer, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Working on university
Job
Student
Income
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Has dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a 21-year-old punk rocker and aspiring actor with a cute dog, an almost-broken guitar, and one hell of an overactive imagination. I'm a history nerd and extremely enthusiastic about...words. Really: the fastest way to endear yourself to me (besides liking The Clash or Rancid or The Replacements) is to write well. Most of my creative energy currently goes into song lyrics, but writing fiction is something I'm beginning to think about trying seriously, so if you do that I would really like to Have A Conversation with you. But one of my main goals in life is to meet as many interesting people as possible, and have have either deep, philosophical conversations with them or just some witty fucking banter. So message me for absolutely any reason at all, even if it's just to have a conversation with someone who MIGHT be okay at it.

I'm short (kinda), skinny (definitely), snarky, sweary, silly, spiffy, swanky, snazzy. Those last few may not actually be true, but they're some of my favorite words. Along with "shenanigans." Sarcasm and stupid puns are as indispensable to me as books and music are, and my verbosity and occasional eloquence is matched by the density of my swearing and use of "yo" and "word" (you know how that goes: you start doing something ironically and then become the mask). And, of course, if you want to get a real accurate sense of the kind of person I am, talk to me, because we're all defined by how we appear to other people and apparently it only takes two damn paragraphs for me to dive headfirst into the Cliche Pit.

A little more seriously, I might as well make it clear that I absolutely despise dishonesty, intolerance (especially, for rather personal reasons, homophobia and the shaming of those with mental illnesses), and anything that could loosely be described as "bullshit." I'm extremely straightforward and leave little unsaid, and I try to encourage others to be the same. I also self-identify as a feminist, and no, I'm not just saying that to seem like That Cool Guy: I'm a good weird liberal Massachusetts punk rocker, and since the eradication of inequality and injustice is always a damn good aspiration, it almost seems like something that shouldn't need to be said. (Also, apparently I sound way more serious here than I actually am in real life. Kind of a goofball, really.)

I write and record original music ("record" here meaning "play into Garageband"), mostly various flavors of punk rock and some acoustic "singer-songwriter" fluff. I have some old stuff on YouTube—my channel is "thefrancfurter" if you want to check any of it out—but I'm more willing to share newer stuff with anyone who's interested.

If you have a good short joke, please tell it to me because I love them. I swear I'm not being sarcastic. I'll tell you my favorite one if you ask.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Right now I'm studying history and theatre (acting) in the honors program at UMass Amherst. In between school and work, I wish I could get back into rock climbing, paintball, and other things I did all the time when I was sixteen. Just like every other early-20-something in the universe. Thanks especially to my musical influences, I try to be extremely aware of the world and its injustices, but although I do sometimes call the bastards out in the three-minute/three chord format, I'd also like to try to do something that actually matters for making the world a better place (choo choo, motherfuckers: all aboard for Cliche Town!).

In the long term, I'm staring into the dark, limitless void of adulthood, alternately shouting "AW YEAH REAL WORLD" and "Fuck. That. Shit." I love learning but going into academia is probably not for me, so my career options with a history degree are probably limited to teaching and law. But if I had my choice, I'd act or write professionally, or—given a miracle—start a band and do that. Speaking of which, if you live in the Amherst/Northampton area and play bass or drums and like punk rock, let me know.

My sleep schedule is often in a state I like to call "completely screwed"—it's a technical term—because convincing myself to go to bed is always an uphill battle, and once I'm there of course I never want to leave it. So I'm awake at weeeeird hours a lot.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Playing power chords and three-note guitar solos very fast and sloppily. Acting (I hope), making words do the word thing, Knowing Things about history and random bits from other subjects, coxing crew. Navigating Boston and introducing people to the city, thanks to summers spent waging the War on Tourism.

Writing songs about various stuff, such as liberal politics, girls with peculiar names, anxiety, the city of Boston, and alcoholic ex-criminals with gambling debts getting whacked by their creditors and dumped in shitty rivers in upstate New York.

According to one of my best friends: "Dan you have the butt dialing skills of a god"
My response: "I'm not even sure how that happened, given that I'm not wearing pants right now..."
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My terrifying and imposing figure, of course. I used to be sort of self-conscious about it (if "sort of self conscious" means "actually a writhing mass of insecurity") but at this point I'm very much at terms with and at home in my own body, and have very little problem with height/size differences if others don't. Besides, 5'3" really ain't so bad considering I was born weighing about two pounds and could fit in the palm of my dad's hand (another story there).

Besides that...intense cheekbones, maybe? And that I have a weird sense of humor and tend to speak sort of elaborately while swearing a lot.

Also, that I use a lot of fucking parentheses on this site.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Music: Rock in most forms, but punk rock above all. My perennial favorites are The Clash, Ramones, Green Day, Rancid, Social Distortion, and The Replacements (a band that sort of summarizes my personality—ask if you want to know what that actually means). Some other favorites are The Offspring, Rise Against, The Hives, The Bouncing Souls, Dropkick Murphys, Talking Heads, blink-182, The Who, Led Zeppelin, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Iron Maiden, The Decemberists, The Mountain Goats. If you listen to Dire Straits—actually, if you've even ever heard of them—you just earned some serious Bonus Points.

Books: are extremely important to me, partially since I started reading before I could walk. Favorite genres are science fiction and dystopia, alternate history, and extremely entertaining Hunter S. Thompson-esque stories about fucked up shit. Also, Shakespeare! (Favorite comedy is A Midsummer Night's Dream, favorite tragedy is Macbeth or Hamlet, favorite history is Henry V). Some other selections: Ender's Game and its series (despite the author being an ultra-conservative, homophobic dickbag), 1984, The Catcher in the Rye, Franny and Zooey, Animal Farm, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, A Clockwork Orange, Slaughterhouse-Five, Naked Lunch, On The Road, World War Z, Looking For Alaska, Band of Brothers. Right now I'm falling in love with John Updike's short stories.

TV: Family Guy, Band of Brothers, The Pacific, 24, Rescue Me, Homicide, Homeland, Fargo, Seinfeld. I have a lot of shows I'd really like to watch—especially Doctor Who, Breaking Bad, Orange is the New Black, and The Wire—but I don't really like watching series alone; I like to watch them with someone else to rant/rave at. So if you're looking for a show-watching partner, woo!

For movies, I like Quentin Tarantino, the Coen Brothers, anything with Will Ferrell in it, historical war films, sic-fi stuff... I like most movies, but I don't watch them too often. This should change.

I'll try pretty much any food at least once. Burritos, Italian, and seafood are my favorites. Pasta goes with anything. And despite my best efforts I'm pretty sure I've never reached 110 pounds.

Favorite video games are Fallout, Just Cause, Civilization, Total War, Company of Heroes, SimCity, Call of Duty (the older the better).

Huge fan of xkcd and Questionable Content.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Guitar and amp, books, friends I can trust, snark and sarcasm, cuddling, Internet (specifically Wikipedia). And although I could do without it, gin and [diet] tonics are easily my favorite drink and I would be quite sad without them. There's a story behind that, too.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Things to write lyrics about, trying to shorten this damn profile, whether or not free will exists, injustices and exploitation in the world, furry animals. I know saying "I think about everything" is another one of those cliches, but it's legitimately true, and part of the reason I like talking to new people so much is that it keeps me from getting wrapped up in my own head.

Oh, and the novel or series of short stories I may eventually write about the fascinating experience of online dating. Seriously!
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
On *Thursday* nights while I'm in school, I'm usually playing at a local open mic night that also happens to be BYOB. Fridays won't really happen this fall because I'm returning to work in Boston every weekend until November. Otherwise, anything from gaming nights with friends to tipsy campfire singalongs in the Arboretum, house parties to playing guitar with my cat as audience.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am not ashamed to admit that I first got into punk rock by way of Green Day. On that note, I'm pretty sure I'm straight, but I may have a tiny little man crush on Billie Joe Armstrong. More seriously, I have diabetes. It's Type 2, the more mild form, because I used to weigh 350 pounds (unfortunately, the real reason is way more boring and complicated).

(Alright, if we're being all straightforward here, the *actual* most private things I'm willing to admit are probably sexual, but I really don't want to come off as That Guy Who Blatantly Talks About Sexual Stuff In His Profile, so ask me if you actually want to know. For example, about the most horrifyingly awkward experience of my life.)
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–23
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you'd like to have a real conversation or just snark at each other, explore Boston/the Pioneer Valley, go to some local shows (music or theatre), help me find/create delicious low-sugar cocktails, watch excellent TV, play Civ 5, or challenge me to a useless-trivia-off. Oh, or, y'know... go on a date. Though all those things would be pretty awesome dates anyway.

Also, the "casual sex" thing is there because right now I'm pretty much open to whatever comes my way, but casual sex is not by any means the only thing I'm looking for. I am also perfectly fine with being only friends with people I meet here; even if it's not ideal, if I think you're cool I'd damn well rather be friends with you than nothing!