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34 San Francisco, CA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 9:19pm
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Other, but not too serious about it
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from law school
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Likes dogs
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay), Hungarian (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hi there, I recently moved here from New York for a new job so this is my first time living in (this) "The City" and I'm excited to meet some new people. Despite being new to the Bay, I'm a prodigal Californian, back to the Golden State after about 10 years of wandering. Not much has changed, except it now seems that people say "Cali" unironically.

My dossier: I grew up in a smallish town about 5 hours south of here that is mostly known for growing lemons and avocados. I'm pretty much the Bubba Gump of avocados. I still think I'm a small town guy at heart, but I don't get all John Mellencamp née Couger née Mellencamp about it.

Since college in LA I've bounced around a bit. I spent a summer on a dude ranch in Idaho. I was a flight attendant for two years out of Portland, Oregon (you can call me cabin boy, but please don't call me a "steward"). I went to law school in Austin about the time people started to think Austin is really cool. Coincidence...? Yes. Spent the past 5 years in New York to round things out. Sprinkle in some seasons spent in London, Suzhou, and Brussels and you about have it.

I’m an “INTJ,” for those of you who are into horoscopes for people who graduated college.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
So I moved out here to make the in-house jump as an attorney for one of the large Silicon Valley corporations. So I guess that makes me both a lawyer and a tech douche bag? Is that a double whammy?! If it counts for anything I once had a Chinese colleague say "you do not impress me as a lawyer" (meant as a compliment), and I'm totally faking it on the tech stuff.

I practice antitrust law. That means I deal with things like competition and monopolies, but sadly my monopolies have nothing to do with little metal thimbles, second prize in beauty contests, or buying Marvin Gardens.

Outside of work I like to try educate myself on new things, whether it's Uzbek food (plov!), Art Nouveau, pirate jokes, botany, or the lyrics of Lorenz Hart, to name a few. Then I try and work all this information into cheerful and overly long emails and conversations with friends.

I really enjoy going to museums and have honed aggressive exhibit elbows. I recently went to the Arabia exhibit at the Asian Art Museum, but would be totally game do something else cultural around the city (e.g. La Bohème this season, Ai Weiwei on Alcatraz).
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Hustling trivia and reciting lots of fun facts. Some people would say they're just “facts.”

Having a conversation about anything, really, especially with cab drivers and people's moms.

Bad puns: I have a chair dedicated to me in Bryant Park, NYC which reads "I will chairish my time here always." (true)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: I love Shūsaku Endō’s “Silence,” as well as the non-Japanese Graham Greene (Graham Greene). I try and read everything by Sam Lipsyte, Gary Shteyngart, Jeanette Winterson, and DBC Pierre. Recently read "Deep Road to the Narrow North [not Man Booker worthy if you ask me]," "The Language of Food," and now on to a book on Kim Philby "A Spy Among Friends," which is really good so far [finished this, now reading "The Martian"].

Movies: Movies directed by Danish guys and people named Anderson (is that redundant?). Cool Hand Luke. I have some Peter Pan tendencies, and in the dozen or so DVDs I own (from when people still owned DVDs) you can find “Babe II: Pig in the City,” ("it's tough when you're a pig alone in the city") and “The Iron Giant” next to the original Harry Hamlin “Clash of the Titans.”

TV: Mostly HBO stuff. I think Julia Louis Dreyfus’s character on Veep, Selina Meyer, may be my ideal woman. I watch Game of Thrones, Leftovers (I like all Tom Perrotta's stuff), etc. and I'm one of 5 white guys who still watch boxing. Louie. I once won a costume contest dressed as Tobias Fünke.

Music: Stuff your dad listened to if your dad wasn't very cool. Also late 90s-early 2000s sad bastard music (think Neutral Milk Hotel) and more folksy stuff (Iron & Wine). I’m pro-Banjo. I first got into David Byrne from the "Little Monsters" soundtrack (take that, hipsters). My favorite Beatle is George Harrison (the squirrel on sax kills me every time). I'm not a music snob, and have been known to sing "I'm so pants-y" while getting dressed in the morning.

Food: Spicy/spiced food, especially Szechuan peppercorns. I have the Indiana Jones of palates (excepting Crystal Skull, of course). I like to cook and can wrap a mean stuffed grape leaf.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
- A beanie (or “tuque” for you Canadians)
- Ak-mak crackers (so good)
- Parentheticals
- Capsaicin
- Malapropism
- My self-defecating sense of humor
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why people in San Francisco dress in hiking clothes for everyday life but then don't walk up escalators.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I'm still pretty new here, so TBD! Though I will say my Friday nights have never really recovered since “Perfect Strangers” went off the air.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
-If you smirked at any of my answers. I'm not looking for belly laughs here.
-You have just the right amount of lack of patience, and would like to join my synchronized eye rolling team.
-Your jeans don't fit like sweatpants.
-Some life perspective, common-sense and a culture level that exceeds a cup of Oikos are real pluses. "Cosmopolitan" would be a good word if it didn't make me think of an awful cocktail.
-You're pretty chill.