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29 New Orleans, LA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–33
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 9:30am
5′ 5″ (1.65m)
Body Type
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
More than $1,000,000
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hello. My name is Bob. (Yes, really.) I was born and raised in New Orleans. I work pretty well at putting people "off balance"- either on purpose or not. People often tell me to stop looking at them "that way" when I'm not, and that I'm "being funny" when I'm not being funny.

I enjoy embracing a dark side of humor, and as such I love rude and cleverly/slyly offensive things. Or overtly offensive things, for that matter. I enjoy being open and loving, and I try to have much an objective viewpoint on the world as possible. Holy shit I love science and I think faith is the absolute worst.

I'm artistic, in some sort of way, and that's a nice way to describe it, I think. I enjoy finding art in everything, and sometimes all it takes to turn an ordinary object into a sculpture is the right viewpoint. Art is easy to pull out of absolutely nowhere if you look through the correct lens. I find it easy to discover heartwarming beauty in inane, normal, or silly things.

If you don't have the ability to laugh, then you need to just put your other foot in the grave. My sense of humor is pretty broad, and I make shit up/free associate a lot. Sometimes the things I say are absolutely absurd, and that amuses me greatly. It's fun to make up jokes, and don't take kindly at all to the word "random."

I love spontaneity and good grammar.

Friend edit: Someday I'll take a picture that doesn't make me look like a cult leader and/or one of those guys that silently stands outside your house late at night just so he can be "close to you."
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Living it from day to day. Finding things to keep myself busy or stay productive, and finding the right people who make my time here worth it's while.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.

Going to Dragon Con every year.

Being direct and honest is something that attracts me to a person. Especially if that person's correct a respectable amount of the time.

I'm really good at entertaining myself. That sometimes includes entertaining others. I usually make friends by associating with people who think I’m fun and not "fucking weird."

I'm an Atheist so that basically means I have no moral compass or sense of ethics what so ever. I spend most of my days kicking stray dogs and coughing blood on old women- when not burning churches full of children out of spite of the deep seeded emotional and psychological problems, which I so obviously have. BUT it's okay because they keep telling me that one day I'll go through a tragic, horrible experience that I won't be able to "get through" "by myself" and I'll need the help of Yahweh to see me through. Here's hoping!
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Whether or not I am on fire.

I'm told I have beautiful eyes and a gracious smile. I'm also short.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I like all music. I like some less than others, generally, but
every genre of music inevitably produces good songs and shitty
songs. If you're too closed-minded to explore a genre of music
because you've been turned off by what little you've been exposed to, then you'll never experience the good music that genre has to offer.

Some music I enjoy:

ABBA, Al Yankovic, Allman brothers, Barry Manilow, Blondie, Boston, Chicago, Daft Punk, Dan Warren, David Bowie, Doobie Brothers, Duran Duran, Earth Wind & Fire, Electric Light Orchestra, Fleetwood Mac, Foghat, Frank Sinatra, Frank Zappa, Gorillaz, Herb Alpert, Huey Lewis and the News, INXS, Ian Pooley, Jack off Jill, Junior Senior, Jurassic 5, KC and the Sunshine band, Kool & the Gang, Led Zeppelin, Liberace, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Madonna, Peaches & Herbs, Pink Floyd, Queen, Radiohead, Rage Against the Machine, Raymond Scott, Reverend Horton Heat, Rob Zombie, Rush, Smokey Robinson, Stevie Wonder, Tears for Fears, The Andrews Sisters, The Beach Boys, The Beastie Boys, The Beatles, The Books, The, The Cars, The Dust Brothers, The Four Tops, The GoGos, The Monkees, The Postal Service, The Prodigy, The Rolling Stones, The Squirrel Nut Zippers, The Temptations, The Turtles, The Ventures, Tom Jones, Toto, Zero 7

Television I enjoy (I'll still to mostly current, standard stuff:)

American Horror Story, Arrested Development, Banshee, Bar Rescue, Boardwalk Empire, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Dexter, Face/Off, Game of Thrones, Hannibal, Hell's Kitchen, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Last Week Tonight, Louie, Masterchef, Manhattan, Real Time, The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret, The Knick, The Walking Dead,

I enjoy documentaries, court shows and cooking competition shows, and pretty much everything Penn & Teller.

I'll expand on books and movies and food at some later time.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I like how this category is "The six things I could never do without." As if everyone keeps a list in their pocket of their 'vital six.' It’s so retarded I’ve literally heard retards say less retarded things than this question- which is why I'm not taking this seriously.

I mean what the fuck.

This question is supposed to be a deep and telling window of a person's priorities and desires, but everyone just answers it with stupid bullshit like: "my CD collection, Jesus, my legs, my genitals (I MEAN I LIKE TO HAVE SEX LOL), H20, and razzberry pancakes :o)"
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The fact that my mind is private and no one can get in here entertains me a great deal. I was always an only child- so I've always had to entertain myself. I never turned it off.

I spend a lot of thing thinking about loving, destructive, ugly, and beautiful things. Trying to be aware of my unawareness. Privy to my ignorance. The person I could be if I wanted and how he compares to the person I will be in time. I think about the progress of humanity and what joyous, wondrous technologies in which I'll be able to indulge, if only I smoke less cigarettes.

In a frame sitting atop a piano, I have a photoshopped picture of Toot Braunstein and Christopher Walken partying outside of a Bourbon Street strip club. Yes.

I spend a lot of time thinking about people and self disillusionment. A SHIT LOAD of conceptions, mores, and intrinsic beliefs in general seem to be based on nothing more than nothing at all. I get incensed!

The dull haze that exists in a person's eyes whose mind isn't open to scientific reason or factual data scares the shit out of me.

If you're of the type of mindset which seeks to oppress the freedoms of individuals who's actions don't infringe on your life, liberty, or property, and you're interested in enacting those views into law, then I don't respect your opinions and I don't respect you. If your underlying reasons to suppress people's rights are faith-based, then you are weak-minded and harm humanity. It's harsh, I know, but if you disagree at least you wont message me now!
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Doing whatever comes up. My life isn't very scheduled.

Now that I think about it, I've probably updated this profile on a Friday night at one point and didn't realize it. That's not ironic.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I try my best to live shamelessly. I do not think I'll be "admitting" anything because for me to admit something implies I feel guilty or secretive about it.

I'm really open to any question, personal or otherwise. I'm who I am. I'm looking or someone who I can enjoy because of who they are, and them me. I think that's the best kind of relationship one can have.

Also, I am very unattracted to superficiality.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you're fun to be around, then send me a message. And I mean really. There's a very real difference between actually and genuinely knowing your presence attracts and enlightens others, and saying "Oh yea I'm super fun to be around!" just because it's the alternative to admitting you're a sheet of gray construction paper. I want the former.

If you're charismatic, awesome, open, shameless, unique, artistic, spontaneous, dark, or funny and are looking for some conversation with a stranger that isn't required in part or in whole to be simply a trading of words and pleasantries, then please message me.

If you consider yourself an odd person or abnormal, then message me. If you're genuine then I'll consider it a favor. It's a great and admirable thing when a person can just embrace his or her unique qualities which set them apart from everyone else and run with them.

If you go to Dragoncon message me!