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TheyCallMeBert

43 M Birmingham, AL

My Details

Last Online
Jul 29
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Sign
Scorpio
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Having recently awoken from a self-imposed and refreshing slumber, he set about the journey once again…

I have amazing friends.

My housemates are my family. There are 3 of them. Two cousins and one who might as well be. The house we live in has personality and character. It's an older house that's been in my family for a long time and it has become an unexpected oasis. A constant within a world of change. Tranquility lives here, and she is welcome.

I watch movies. Lots of them. To excess. I'm in movie-watching rehab. :)

I make movies. I've directed/shot/edited numerous short films. And feature-length films as well.

I write a lot. Fiction. Non-fiction. Notes. Song lyrics. Grocery shopping lists.

I eat at least one apple every day.

I frequent many of the local gathering places in Birmingham. My friends and I can often be seen at the Rojo, for instance. Often before or after a theatre show or a rehearsal.

Prince. O(+>

I've rediscovered the joy of cooking my own meals at home. It's pretty amazing the difference this has made in my life.

I'm picking up the guitar again after years away from it.

I've recently taken up improv comedy.

I am heavily involved in the local theatre & film scene. For lack of a better term - I'm an actor. I've appeared in about a dozen plays over the past few years and have worked on even more "behind the scenes".

I want to master the art of stage banter like Paul Stanley.

I love both dogs and cats, but do not currently have any. While I appreciate the loving nature of dogs, I am also a fan of the independence that cats can bring to the human-pet relationship. They are pretty close to being self-sufficient creatures.

I'm contemplating getting a tattoo. When this happens (and I'm pretty sure it will), it will be one I've designed myself.

I value honesty above most every other virtue.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
More than anything else, I'm just enjoying it. Being present and involved in whatever I'm doing. Living in the moment.

Turning my passions (film/art/design) into my work - because only then can what you do truly transcend the word "job".

Reading. Learning. Growing. Spending time with the people I love.

Pursuing happiness for myself and attempting to have a positive effect on those around me. What else is more important?
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
- Making people feel better when they're down.
- Providing the perfect movie quote for any situation.
- Listening (or so I've been told).*
- Writing the first 5 pages of a screenplay - then setting it aside and starting another one.
- Late night conversation (and/or texting).
- The internet. I finished it (but I won't spoil the ending).
- Hugs.**
- Being considerate.
- Running out of room on my iPod.
- Being really good at stuff.

* At least I think that's what they said, I'm not sure because I wasn't really paying attention. :)
** And the warm and fuzzy subset of hugs - cuddling.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
After politely telling them, "No ma'am/sir, I am not Brad Pitt/Johnny Depp/Danny McBride, but I get that all the time. Would you still like me to sign that autograph?", it's usually my piercing blue eyes that draw their attention…

Can I really answer this question without coming off as either self-absorbed or delusional…or both?

Let's go in a different direction… my good nature… positivity… and sense of humor. :)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
This list could get out of hand, so I'll just touch on a few for now.

Books/Plays/Poets/Authors: David Mamet, Neil LaBute, Philip K. Dick, Edgar Allan Poe, Thomas Pynchon, Tolstoy, Tennessee Williams, Dave Barry, Cormac McCarthy, Walt Whitman, Charles Dickens, Truman Capote, Vladimir Nabokov, Jane Austen, Chuck Palahniuk, Stephen King, Anthony Bourdain, Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, American Psycho, Oh, and William Shakespeare.

Directors: Kubrick. Hitchcock. Lynch. PT Anderson. Tarantino. The Coen Brothers. Scorsese. Spielberg. Woody Allen. Truffaut. Fincher. Aronofsky. Malick.

Films: Raiders of the Lost Ark, Pulp Fiction, Almost Famous, American Beauty, Boogie Nights, Magnolia, There Will Be Blood, The Shawshank Redemption, Moulin Rouge, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, City of God, Blade Runner, True Romance, The Empire Strikes Back, This Is Spinal Tap, North By Northwest, Casablanca, The Shining, The Big Lebowski, Leon: The Professional, Heathers, Reservoir Dogs, Inglourious Basterds, Unbreakable, A Clockwork Orange, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Jaws, Blue Velvet, Eraserhead, Mulholland Dr., Raising Arizona, Fargo, The 400 Blows, Rear Window, Jules and Jim, Halloween (1978), Chasing Amy, Run Lola Run, American Movie, Dancing Outlaw, The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia, Annie Hall, Much Ado About Nothing (1993), Drive, Blue Valentine, Holy Motors, Django Unchained, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, The Room

Shows: X-Files, Lost, Twin Peaks, Seinfeld, The Shield, Breaking Bad, Firefly, Arrested Development, Community, Girls, Anything with Gordon Ramsay and/or contests of culinary skill, Game of Thrones, Homeland, American Horror Story, True Blood, How I Met Your Mother, The Wire, Justified, The Killing, The Walking Dead, Eastbound and Down, Californication, Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, The Mighty Boosh, The State, The Daily Show, Monty Python's Flying Circus, The IT Crowd, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

Music: Prince, Jack White, John Mayer, Barenaked Ladies, Crash Test Dummies, Beth Hart, Live, The Pixies, Fiona Apple, Damien Rice, Ray Lamontagne, Maktub, My Morning Jacket, The Beatles, Rob Zombie, Five For Fighting, Mumford and Sons, The Avett Brothers, The Black Keys, Foxy Shazam, Tom Keifer, Mazzy Star, Lady Gaga, Lana Del Rey, Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, Chvrches

Food: Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Friends/Love.
Positivity.
Passion.
The art of learning.
A place to call home.
The Interwebs.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
- Things that I have no control over.
- How to change that.
- The movies I want to make.
- The places I want to go.
- Zooey Deschanel
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
At a play, a movie, or hanging with friends at Rojo (or someone's party). Sometimes all of those things. Or at home. That's good, too.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Sometimes I worry about stuff I have no control over, or get hung up on the smallest detail of a particular thing. For instance, the correct wording of a text message. Not spelling or grammar mistakes (though there's that, too), but rather how it will be interpreted or received. As if an entire friendship and/or relationship hangs in the balance, and my clever wit is all that keeps it from falling apart.

Although I don't watch them regularly, I've seen episodes of both Jersey Shore and Honey Boo Boo… which leads me to the realization that...

I know who and what a "Snooki" is.

Also, I killed an ant with a magnifying glass when I was 7. But it was really the sun's fault.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–42
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
- You want to hang out and have a good time, laugh, maybe have a drink or two, watch a good movie (or a bad one - just nothing in between) - or if you decide I'm cute or funny or charming enough (or all three!) to overlook my imperfections.

- You just want to say hello. It's always a nice gesture to let someone know that you've noticed them, isn't it? (It really is.)

- You want to talk about the trials and tribulations of the Bluth family.

- You have a question. I'll try and answer it, or I'll google it for you. For free.

- You just want to talk, need someone to listen, or just want to go on a rant about the cancellation of Firefly.

- You want to recommend a movie/show/band/anything else that you think I might enjoy.

- You want to get together and contemplate the entire universe or just one star.