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ThisIsAHeadline

39 Brooklyn, NY Man

Man

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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 28–48
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Leo
Education
Dropped out of university
Job
Entertainment / Media
Income
$100,000–$150,000
Status
Single
Type
Mostly monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Has dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
People tell me I am funny. I agree with those people.
I'm laid back, polite and inquisitive. I enjoy trying new things and I love a good conversation. I can have fun in any setting, except for burning orphanages, those are decidedly not funny.
I enjoy good comedy. I'm well read and in good shape. I have weights that I actually use, a gym I occasionally attend, a bicycle I ride when I can and a dog I walk every day.
I'm stealing this description, but I work for an agency and do internet things, largely editing, writing and project managing. I very much enjoy good books and good writing. I have a 12-year-old lab mix who I love dearly.
My tastes in music and film are relatively eclectic. I enjoy sports, which isn't to say I'm obsessive about sports. I like them but I don't live and breathe them. That's a lie, I'm obsessed with the NBA (go Cavs).
I do not play any 'actual' instruments, but let's be honest, air guitar takes just as much skill. Probably more.*

*Definitely more

I love live music. I've seen Jay Z, Bob Dylan, My Morning Jacket, Radiohead, Wilco, Beck, Doctor John, Kanye, Justin Timberlake, TV on the Radio, Muse, Sirs Paul McCartney and Elton John, Janelle Monàe, Outkast, Wu Tang (for like 30 minutes) and Billy Joel since moving here.

I'm a solid (gold) dancer.

I'm looking for a woman who is intelligent and likes to laugh and likes adventures but is not opposed to chilling and watching Netflix.
Also, she should be insanely wealthy and willing to give me exorbitant sums of money on the thinnest of pretenses, i.e. "Um, look, I'm 'researching' flying cats ... from ... Mars ... yes ... that makes a certain kind of sense ... yes, the research requires 'ridiculously expensive bourbon' ... why? ... I don't know. I'm not a flying Martian cat. I had hoped that was obvious."
I prefer a woman who is adventurous, passionate and sympathetic. I like informed, sarcastic women -- that combo is such a plus that I'd call it a prerequisite. Unless you desperately want to fund my research. In that case, be as dumb as you like.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I work as a senior content manager for an agency, which is more interesting than it sounds -- though that assumes I know how it sounds to you. I hope it sounds cool and impressive and slightly dangerous/implausible and you're like, 'I wonder how often he has to wield a sword?' (SO often, as it turns out ... like annoyingly often)
I've worked with said company for a little over 3 months and have worn several hats -- mostly backward because I think Fred Durst was messianic and should be emulated as such.
I've recently fixed up my bicycle, a decision that has paid off immediately. I'm basically making up my own routes through Brooklyn and Manhattan, so 'you should definitely bike to X' suggestions are welcome. And by X, obviously I mean the drug.
I also volunteer once a week, teaching writing to young adults seeking their GEDs (though now it's the TASC).
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Solving arguments -- something about me must seem impartial because I'm asked to do this a lot. Yes, I can be bought.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Typically I would say, 'the fact that I am hovering about 2 inches off the ground,' but the beard seems to win out these days.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Authors: Bukowsi, Hemmingway, Vonnegut, Rushdie, Stephen King, Neil Gaman, Hunter S. Thompson, Graham Greene, Russel Banks, George Orwell, George RR Martin, P.G. Wodehouse and Poe. I've read stuff by David Foster Wallace, Murakami, Lovecraft, Zadie Smith and John Irving.

I have a Google Nexus specifically because it's great for reading comics, a love I recently rediscovered thanks to 'Sandman' and 'Lucifer.' I just finished 'Civil War' and started on 'Fables.'

I essentially read for a living, I'm fairly well versed in current events. I very much love The New Yorker, the NY Times, the Post (there is only one and it is in Washington, DC), the Atlantic, NYT Review of Books, et cetera.

The only film genre I tend to shy from in film is horror and even that has qualifications. I have no desire to see people tortured for sport sans a compelling narrative. I love comedy, both film and standup, and haven't seen nearly enough of the latter in my time here.

Deadwood is my favorite TV show of all time, but (past and present) I also really enjoy Sopranos, Six Feet Under, Game of Thrones (yes I've read the books), Louie, 30 Rock, Children's Hospital, Archer, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Mr. Show, The Office, Arrested Development, Always Sunny and the Simpsons.

Where it concerns food, if the people making it are good at what they do, I don't care what it is. This city is, happily, replete with that sort of talent.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Curiosity, a good dog, great friends, awesome sex, riotous laughter and stimulants of various kinds and potency, in no particular order.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The lack of screen time for that trailer Optimus Prime hauls around in 'Transformers' and whether he (the trailer, obviously) was cool with it.

Also, would there be any point in giving that trailer its own trailer?

Also, if you filmed a trailer that showed the trailer's trailer, would Michael Bay's head explode?*

*Yes. Yes it would.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Drunkenly -- and belligerently -- explaining to some terrified Times Square tourists that, 'Of course you build a trailer for Optimus Prime's trailer. It's a question of propriety. Mind you, it would have to be fucking huge, so you ... I threw up on your shoes.'
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have no idea who my father is

talking to right now, sorry, passed out there for a minute.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're the matriarch of a clan that you long ago shunned as useless morons and are at a loss as to what to do with your vast wealth. You think the Tea Party is amusing and hope they say and do more things in public and hopefully with megaphones. You want to explore the 'Inception'-'like' dream world I built from paper mache (hurry, it's wilting) and then explore the actual world. You want to ride bikes. You want to go to comedy shows. You like sports and/or realize one can actively follow them without also being a bro.
OR ... you are from a vast, magical and immortal race of elves and it's time for me to assume my place on the throne to reign as king.

P.S. The last group should not hesitate to leave me a voicemail