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36 M Melbourne, Australia

My Details

Last Online
Apr 15
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Atheism, and very serious about it
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t want kids
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Whereupon we are introduced to our hero, Lord Thruxis, mighty warrior of the Dwarves, and adventurer extraordinaire ...
"That's actually quite flattering", exclaims Thruxis, "though I must admit the part about being a dwarf makes me sound short, which", he straightens up and thrusts his chest forward, "I am not. In fact", he points sternly at nothing in particular, "it should be noted that whilst I am partial to bushwalks along rivers and near waterfalls, it might also be a stretch to label me an adventurer."
At this point he begins to pace back and forth, a habit that is described less as endearing and more as a trait to be endured. "It's a weekend thing", he begins, from the middle as usual. "I tend to be at work all week, so the opportunity to get out really only arises on the weekend."
And indeed, whilst quiet during the working week, Thruxis rages throughout the weekend on a nonstop binge of excess, living life to the fullest. Leaving a trail of destruction...
"Hang on, a trail of destruction!?" interjects Thruxis, "I do no such thing! I might go to a film festival, or enjoy a bit of live music at a bar but that's about it." Whereupon Thruxis sits down at his grand piano and demonstrates his musical skill by playing a flawless rendition of a piece by Mozart. And Bach. At the same time.
Thruxis laughs heartily, "At the same time? I really don't think you've thought that description through. And the grand piano? Is this supposed to be my grand piano? Do you have any idea how much a grand piano would cost?" He rises, coolly and majestically, from his seat at his very own grand piano.
"I'm still sitting, if you must know", Thruxis states indignantly, "and I'm doing it on an old, worn-out, second hand sofa. If you're not going to adequately represent me, then I refuse to continue this, this...".
"Hmmm, too cliched for my liking. And I wouldn't have capitalised 'Dwarves' in the first sentence, but I don't suppose you narrate many of these stories, do you?"
What I’m doing with my life
"Basically, I design and write software", Thruxis elucidates expansively, warming to his topic. "It's something I've actually done since before I had a job in the software industry. In fact, it's almost come full circle, now that I'm writing for simulators, and back in highschool I wrote physics and maths simulators..."
He continues talking on this topic for near an hour, gaining speed with every syllable as his excitement (unfortunately) gushes forth. The reader, of course, has wandered off for a cookie (chocolate chip, I'd guess) and a coffee, losing interest around the time of amicable primes and games that involved memorising the periodic table of the elements. When the reader returns to find that Thruxis is *still* waxing lyrical, and in fact is gesticulating wildly whilst walking laps of the room at Olympic pace, some not-so-subtle coughing is required to end the monologue.
"I'm sorry, didn't mean to go all Oakeshott on you", he apologises, clearly forgetting the times that girls have, in his face, thrust their fingers down their throat when he brings up the topic of software.
"One time! That was one time!" he wails.
He wisely refrains from mentioning that it was at a karaoke bar.
The first things people usually notice about me
Thruxis drums his fingers together in thought. "I suppose the long hair. Kinda goes with the whole warrior image, doesn't it?" he grins, obviously not recalling that just moments earlier he denied being a warrior. "Actually, I denied being an adventurer. And a dwarf. But not a warrior" as he swooshes his hair around and around.

"And if it's not that, then it's the painted finger nails. For some reason", his brow furrows, "that's still unusual on guys." He pauses to admire his blue nails, sparkling in the light of his blazing monitors. "That part's actually true", he says, sounding a little surprised. "Though they're not always painted. And today I probably wouldn't use the word sparkling, and perhaps I would have added the adjective 'dark'", he muses, clearly mistaking an adjective for a noun. "Actually, 'dark' can be both an adjective and a noun, and I was using it as an adjective, so I'd prefer it if you kept your misinformed", he spits the word out, "grammatical views to yourself."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
"Ah music", he says wistfully, sipping on a glass of fat-free milk. "I must admit to listening to pretty much everything, from viking metal to death metal, from black metal to doom metal. Anaal Nathrakh, Ansur, Behemoth, Be'lakor, Cradle of Filth, Death, Devin Townsend, Isis, Ne Obliviscaris, Opeth, Origin, Septic Flesh, Todesbonden, Wolves in the Throne Room, Winds."
Everything, really? Oh, how I pity those poor people with an actual sense of humour who have to endure this.
"Okay okay", he joculates, waving a piece of sushi around with enough vigour that the rice risks disassembly. "Whilst I primarily listen to assorted metal (and it's not all heavy) I do happen to also listen to some non-metal stuff too." He summarises, "If it's good, it's good" in some sort of vain attempt to appeal to the masses and make it sound like his tastes aren't a one dimensional collection of bands that never learned how to play a musical instrument.

"Big sci-fi and fantasy fan!" he grins, waving his arms in the air. "Tolkien, Card, Gibson, Mieville" he raves enthusiastically. "Actually, I pronounced Mieville with an accent on the e", Thruxis interjects, having no idea how to pronounce Mieville and unable to recognise a diacritic if it hit him in the face.
"I'd like to especially point out the Metamorphosis of Prime Intellect", he sniffs, a little miffed about recent descriptions of his pronunciation, even if they are true. "Piers Anthony, Neal Stephenson, Stephen Donaldson and Gillian Rubinstein", he continues, once again sticking to tried and true fantasy authors and failing to list anything that a normal reader might have even heard of.
There's a very, very pregnant pause. We're talking a ten month pause. Maybe eleven.
"Er, American Psycho? That was very good." he eventually proffers.
The six things I could never do without
"And popular science books!" Thruxis yells, jumping to his feet. "You didn't let me finish! Hacking Matter, the Elegant Universe, the Curious Book of Interesting Numbers!" he looks around wildly at the empty room. There's a reason we left the last section, though it's clear that Thruxis never picked up on that.
"Well, what about ...", he struggles for a moment, "could I at least point out that I co-created a bookclub? Two actually?" Now, if these bookclubs actually lasted for a significant period of time that might have been impressive, but the first one staved off death for all of three months whilst the second one is doing a miserable impression of not dying. One person reading one book in the first six months? Oh Thruxis, is this really something you'd put on your resume? How the readers weep for thee...

"Can I put down the six -"
Sorry. The allocated space has been used.
"But that's unfair!" Thruxis argues, thrashing around like a man who's been horribly, horribly wronged, "I wasn't the one who miscategorised my commentary!"
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Thruxis thinks about most things, one suspects, rather than doing.
"Oy! I do things, that's quite an unreasonable assertion! In fact, in the beginning you yourself ..., " he waves a finger randomly in the air, as if trying to locate something hovering nearby, just out of sight.
"The bushwalking! The hiking!" he exclaims. A bold exclamation, one might say, given he wasn't out perambulating this morning.
"Oh, come on, today? That's unreasonable: I was inside reading today." Though, if one was to peer inside the front window one might have seen him hunched over a bookshelf, rearranging the books. Which technically, does involve some minimal amount of reading.
"What about baking! The cheesecakes, the muffins, the ninjabreadmen!" A statement which may be slightly confusing to some, since he's made the cheesecakes and muffins, but has merely thought about baking the ninjabreadmen.

It should be pointed out that he's also thinking of learning Ido.
"Yes!" he says with a smile on his face, clicking his fingers. Others may say he actually snapped his fingers, but we'll allow him this idiosyncrasy.
"Wait, you're not actually being helpful here, are you?" he asks suspiciously.
At this point, we could wait a little whilst he repeats the question in Ido. In fact, given that last year we could also have waited for a translation, I dare say that next year we might not get a translation either.
His mouth drops open in a manner that is actually common enough to have its own descriptive phrase amongst friends.
The silence is broken by his nonsensical burst of "Kavalo! Kavalo!" which would be impressive if he had some sort of obsession of horses. Which, I'm sure you've guessed, he does not.
On a typical Friday night I am
The light outside dims and the curtains, if they'd been open, would now be closing. "Wait, there's plenty to like!" exclaims Thruxis in a panic, too bewildered to conjugate 'to panic' and sensing that things are going to come to a (most pointed) end.
"It's not my job to present adverbs for my narrator and I'm not responsible for the pitiful state of the english language!" he says, tripping over lego in his sloshed state that normally would be stashed inside a drawer. "I'm not sloshed, I had one shot of drambuie whilst dictating. Maybe two." he retorts, "given that it's a Friday night and there was nothing worthwhile happening in the city."
Perhaps if he'd put his apathy aside for once and gone out things would have ended much differently. "I was reading!" he wails. "Could you at least write that I wailed adorably?" he wailed lamentably, ashamedly.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
The room quaked and a crack appeared in the ceiling. With a thunderous roar the chandelier tore free of the ceiling and plunged down, striking Thruxis on his chest as he reached for another bottle of cheap booze from the freezer.
"Aha! In your melodramatic haste you failed to realise I don't have a chandelier and therefore, " he rips open his snorgtees tshirt to bare his unharmed chest, "I am untouched and full of vigour!" A boastful statement, and one which he immediately regretted, as a bookcase overturned, crushing him horribly.

But don't let his death at the hands of the narrator dissuade you from messaging him. Hint, he's not really dead ;)