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TooTigToFail

32 Walnut Creek, CA Man

Man

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Loki judges cuz he read about how selfiephiles are more likely to be narcissistic psychos.

You aren't a real patriot unless you're holding a bald eagle. If you're not holding a bald eagle at this very moment, the terrorists have won.

I'm a photoshop wizard.

This is co ed softball so you know I'm athletic and I play well with women.

If you can't handle me at my worst then you sure as hell don't deserve me when I'm not co opting a cliche quote that sucked from the get go.

A rabbi, Danny Masterson and a unicorn walk into a bar... (Not an actual joke - BUT IT WILL BE)

Travel tip for uninitiated: If you slip the monks an extra $50 they'll let you do some crazy shit.

I took his nose.

Group shot (for proof humans...sort of... can stand to be around me).

I know it's generally considered crass to include photos with your exes but I thought you should know the yardstick by which you will be measured.