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25 Minneapolis, MN Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–29
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 10:22pm
5' 7" (1.70m)
Body Type
Atheism and laughing about it
Dropped out of University
Doesn’t want kids
Has cats
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My favorite joke is about a butt of helium so that should give you a pretty solid indication of how terrifically uncool I am. Strike one.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I serve people beer, and I get PAID to do that. The world is an amazing place.

I also really enjoy beer.

Whiskey is good too.

I have poor time management skills.

I have only a few hobbies and writing fake Craigslist ads is one of them.

I have two cats that I take an offensive amount of pictures of, as you can probably tell if you make the mistake of clicking my Instagram feed. Strike two.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Riding a bike while intoxicated.
Struggling with bikes while sober.
Justifying collecting useless bullshit.
Making poor impressions.
Abusing the quicksave/load feature.
Alternatively, being bad at videogames.
Making coffee.
Body hair.
Forgetting someone's name the second I stop talking to them.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I'm constantly about 8 years behind the times in just about all forms of media. If you have to ask, I probably haven't heard of/watched/listened to it. Strike three.

I like books a lot, unless they're written by Ayn Rand.

I don't like mushrooms, but I ate a mussel recently and didn't hate it.

I've been known to watch a TV show or movie here and there.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
African coffees.
My bikes.
Self deprecating humor.
My ability to count to six.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What would've happened to René Descartes if he hadn't thought.
Why I don't use the word "hubris" more often.
Is peanut butter an addictive substance?
How I can abuse the power I'm given.
Did I use enough emojis in that last text?
Fried cheese.
Why Charizard and Gyarados aren't Dragon type.
When society will ultimately collapse into pure dysfunction and chaos.
That thing I just did that I should've fucking done differently god dammit, fuck, I'm so goddamn stupid.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The same thing we do every night, Pinky.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Look, I'm not your mother. Do whatever you want.

That being said, if you can hold a conversation about more than just the weather and enjoy drinking beer while you do it, we'd probably get along.