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28 Dallas, GA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 20–31
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Aug 27
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
A little extra
Strictly anything
Other, and laughing about it
Leo, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from high school
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
*Warning* Long as shit profile. I don't feel like going through and changing everything up on it or deciding what I want to keep.


Khal seeking Khaleesi
Gomez seeking Morticia
Cheese seeking Mac ...wait...

Warning/Disclaimer: insanelylongprofile
Hi, I'm Josh.

Found on tumblr;
"not every conversation is a debate.
not every conversation is a discussion even.
a lot of conversations, especially those in safe places where people share private, intimate, closely guarded thoughts, are dialogues.
in a debate, you are trying to persuade.
in a discussion, you are trying to compromise.
in a dialogue, you are trying to listen.
it’s a subtle difference, but it’s an important one."

Quickie factoids;
Enneagram #6 "The Questioner."

Myers-Briggs personality type: ENFJ "The Teacher."


I like beverages. Especially nutty ones.
Flavor experimenter.
Favorite color: Purple
Favorite animal: Lion
Favorite song:
Favorite fast food: Chick-Fil-A, Krystals, Taco Hell in that order.
Favorite hangouts: IHOP, WaHo, Starbucks, Buffalo Wildwings.
Love the mountains, hate the cold.
Love the beach, don't dig the crowds.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Going to bed at 8pm sunday-thursday, to be awake at 4am monday-friday. My job is on Fulton Industrial, as a yard auditor. Woo. Writing stuff down. For hours. Watch out now ladies, I'm almost successful.

Optimally what I'd like to do;
Figure out how afford more education.
Go to school, get a business degree or something general.
Apply my vocal talents to commercials/internet cartoons/website tutorials and whatnot to augment overall income.

I am getting wanderlusty and am running out of excuses not to indulge the urge.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
making pizzas
forgetting song lyrics
killing zombies
talking philosophy
being serious when appropriate
being funny when inappropriate
clearing consciences
identifying actors by description
remembering names and faces
forgetting song lyrics
planning ahead
staying in character.
changing my own mood
Poker faces
Pretending I didn't say something stupid.
Also; I'm really good at forgetting song lyrics.

I'm a talented impressionist albeit out of practice.
I give such good advice that I should be charged for it.
Understanding other people's perspective.

Using big words in sequence to properly articulate a concept or idea with vividity.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm sorta tall, broad, thick and fuzzy. I am often compared to a teddy bear, but I really like lions a lot more.

I also hear alot, "I love the way you talk! Listening to you is great."

I'm only going to get better looking, I think.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Fantasy, Sci-Fi.
Eragon, anything by R.A. Salvatore the Lord of the Rings series. I have a set genre because reading is a real escape for me that as long as I can see, I'll always do.

Movies: Nick Frost & Simon Pegg, anything with Jackie Chan, Star Wars, Star Trek, Serenity, Big Trouble In Little China, Goonies, Monstersquad, Cloverfield.
I love adventure movies. Indiana Jones, The Mummy. Stuff like that.

All the Marvel movies, other than the really really shitty ones. Like Elektra. I will admit that Ghost Rider is a guilty pleasure, because honestly, how can anything about a flaming skeletal biker be anything but corny?

Shows: Spaced, Star Trek (all), The Walking Dead, Survivorman, SUPERNATURAL, Game of Thrones, Simpsons, Futurama, Monsterquest, Ancient Aliens, Doctor Who, Firefly, parks and recreation {on season 5ish}, Bill Nye the Science Guy,
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Jackie Chan Adventures, The IT Crowd

Music; Hugo, Incubus, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, almost the entire Grunge genre, Daft Punk, MGMT, Foster the People, Gorillaz, The Glitch Mob, The Heavy.

Food: Pub foods, Mexican and Chinese cuisine, Pizza (I'm a bit of a pizza snob though, I worked at Papa Johns for years.)

Video Games:
Team Fortress 2,
DC Universe Online,
Starcraft: Broodwar.
Mass Effect
Orcs Must Die 2

I don't do any console gaming anymore but back in the day I used to rock Dynasty Warriors, any Bond game, CoD: MW and CoD3-4, Halo (all) blah blah blah.

Add me on steam ladies!
I'm always looking for new gaming buddies.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1) My family. Specifically my sister and father.
2) My friends, who are my truest wealth. The best people I know.
3) My sense of humor, which has preserved/secretly destroyed my sanity.
4) The ability to read, which has enhanced everything about me.
5) Traveling/The chance of traveling.
6) Fantasy movies/t.v./literature.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
You. Like, not just you specifically, but I often find myself deeply contemplating what it is that brings people to me, and
me to them.

Manic-Pixie-Dream-Girls. If you identify as one, I'll probably fall in love with you to my own peril.

The future.

Am I'm too weird for normal girls, and too normal for weird girls?

How ironic it is that I'm intolerant of intolerant people.

I hate how many messages you chicks get from lecherous sleazeballs. It's fuckin' hard to get any attention on here with shitbags like that populating the male half of the site. It makes contacting most of you the icebreaking equivalent of russian roulette.

When should I text first?

How many dates until I change my status on here to "Seeing Someone"?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Socializing, usually at 24/7 breakfast places. If not there then Buffalo Wild Wings or pub crawling with the boys.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I always check to see if you answered the question, "Can overweight people still be sexy?" with a Yes or better.

If you didn't answer in favor of our thickness, then I wont message. I know that it's hypocritical but I'm not generally physically attracted to obesity(bmi of 30% or up, right...? I need to google this figure..), overweight is fine, but obese is not, but please don't feel the need to harass me about it.
If you're bitter/infuriated that I'm not into really big girls please keep it to yourself. Personal preferences shouldn't by reason to gather a lynch mob. I've been attacked on here before for what I find attractive, which to me isn't right or fair. I don't shame anyone for their appearance, but I don't need to be attacked for a harmless personal preference.

Take a wild guess why that ^^^^ paragraph ^^^^ exists.

I am clueless.
Like completely Clueless. If you want me to text/call/meet up you actually have to say something. I don't assume just because you're responding, that you're going to want to do any of the above.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Congrats on making it this far. I read an entire profile then look at pictures before I click "Like". If the feeling is mutual then say hi.

..if you want to play D&D...

I'm no longer looking for anything super serious yet. I want a little bit more for myself before I try to have a relationship with anyone. I need more than a shitty car, a shared apartment and no degree to be able to feel like a grownup.

So I'm down for friendship, short-term dating and somewhat down for casual romantic encounters (I'm not made of stone) but I just don't think I'm "man enough" to be in a serious and successful relationship just yet.

I don't want to waste anybody's time(including my own). That being said, I still want to connect with people (women) so don't be shy if you think I'm diggable!

[1] If you know where I get my username on here from.
C'mon now! Guess!

[2] You're looking for someone to see on friday nights and saturdays that can handle planning a date, will keep it interesting without pawing at you like an animal. (Unless you're into that.)

[3] You liked what I wrote and actually read 60% or more of the profile.

We will definitely WILL NOT work romantically if;

You're polyamorous. I'm not going to get emotionally involved with someone who's in an active relationship with people other than me.

You're not pro-LGBT rights. Sorry, but people are people and everyone deserves the same options.

You're very religious or judgemental/bigoted. While these are separate, sadly they go hand in hand with the above. This also applies to racism. If you have serious qualms with people, and you base them off of race then gtfo of my face.

You're very atheistic and overly critical/hateful to people of faith. Just because someone believes in something, doesn't make them inferior to you. Live and let live if they cause no harm.

You are extremely political. There are better things to waste breath on than politics.

You were not born a woman. The option of children being born of mine and my lover's union is an appealing one. Sorry.

You're obese. (Natural feminine curves are splendid.) Obesity exacerbates every major health issue you can have, and I really enjoy physical activities like hikes and going out dancing. Obese people generally can't keep up.

You're already in a relationship.

I really think that what would be best for me in a partner, romantically and otherwise is someone open-minded, family-oriented, uplifting and supportive, intelligent and who is really quick to laugh. Life's too short to be serious all the time and I need somebody to laugh with.

What I'm looking for as far as a relationship, is something sort of serious, definitely exclusive. I don't want to say I'm looking for The One, because I don't know how much I actually believe in that, but I would really like to find someone who will at least meet me halfway on making our time together enjoyable and memorable.

Holy hell how did you make it this far? Well.. go ahead and message if you've gotten this far. Hell, if you made it 4 paragraphs and then just quick-scrolled down, go ahead and message.