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TomInNapa

43 M Napa, CA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 10:57am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Leo, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Technology
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
I'm calm, centered, and contemplative. Yet I also like to be with other people and go on adventures. I'm happy right here in Napa Valley, but I've also enjoyed visiting Italy, France, Brazil, Argentina and India in the past 6 years.

Relationships are important to me -- friends and family. I feel that life is all about the connections we make with other people, and the ways we can make each others' lives better.

I'm optimistic, spiritual (but not religious), curious, compassionate and kind.

For most of my life, I've allowed the logical half of my brain to make decisions. I'm learning to listen to my emotions, and explore my creativity. I go out into this world with an open heart, full of love for others, and able to receive their love in return.

I'm looking for a partner who is centered and grounded. Confident in who they are. Mature and independent, yet looking for someone to enjoy life with. Someone able to talk openly and honestly about their feelings, and hear me talk openly and honestly about mine. Someone who isn't afraid to love and be loved in return.
What I’m doing with my life
Working to figure out who I am and what I want out of life, after ending a 10 year marriage to the wrong person. Looking to connect with old friends and find people with shared interests to become new friends. Trying to make the lives of those friends better.

I currently meditate, study Buddhism and practice Kundalini yoga. I write computer software to earn a living, and have recently been converting my collection of old computer hardware into works of art.
I’m really good at
...writing computer software, something I've been passionate about since I was 13. For me it's a form of creativity, like poetry.

...reading out loud, so if you enjoy the thought of lounging in the great outdoors and being read to, you should message me.

...giving big hugs, snuggling/cuddling, and sharing passionate kisses.

...cooking/baking and I'm not afraid to try new recipes.

...intelligent conversation and having an open mind.

...respecting your boundaries.

...being a son to my wonderful parents (married 46 years!), a brother to my younger sister, and an uncle to my niece and nephew.
The first things people usually notice about me
My thick, curly brown hair, my green eyes and my smile. And that I look about 5 years younger than I am.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Recently getting back into reading and loving it. I like Neal Stephenson, William Gibson, Ursula Le Guin, Michael Pollan, Michael Lewis, and Malcolm Gladwell. Recent non-fiction includes Awakening Joy, The Untethered Soul, and Ethical Slut.

Recent movies that I enjoyed: Life of Pi, Silver Linings Playbook, Looper, Argo, and Moonrise Kingdom.

I'm not watching much TV now, but I used to keep up with Game of Thrones, Good Wife, New Girl and Justified. I can't stand sitcoms with a laugh track (sorry Big Bang Theory lovers).

I enjoy a wide range of music, from Jazz to the Beastie Boys, Daft Punk, Pink Floyd, Annie Lennox, The Beatles, Coldplay, Jay-Z, Lenny Kravitz, Moby, No Doubt, and U2.

When it comes to food, I'm an omnivore, but I love vegetables, and don't need meat in every meal (everything in moderation). I also enjoy cooking, baking and grilling.
The six things I could never do without
family, love/compassion, great food and wine, learning new things, good friends, creating software
On a typical Friday night I am
Possibly spending time with you! Although I enjoy spending time alone, reading and contemplating the world, I also like to get out and have fun.

A Friday night could include wine tasting at my local wine bar, having a delicious dinner out, or going to a performance of some sort (music, theatre or otherwise).
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm in a pinball league. I like to think that it's cooler than a bowling league, but it's still pretty geeky.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 30–47
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating
You should message me if
You should message me if you want someone interesting to spend time with. You're down to earth and don't wear a lot of makeup. You like to read actual books (Kindle counts).

You're OK being with someone polyamorous. I prefer to be in intimate (romantic/sexual) relationships that are nonexclusive, considerate and fully honest. I will treat you with respect, but I'm not on a path toward marriage and children at this point in my life.

Maybe you're figuring your life out too, and we can help each other in that exploration.