I try to live a life-style that is beneficial to me and those around me, as well as my surroundings, which include well-built guitars, outdated golf clubs, men and women with well-developed senses of humor, a brand-new squash racquet, an apartment that is too big for me, a kitchen table that is too small for me, hand-strengthening putty....

Today in Band class a 7th grade trumpet player tossed a pencil to the Tuba player so he could write something down, and the pencil landed down inside the Tuba. I turned and saw the Tuba kid frantically trying to shake the pencil out of his Tuba. I guess I sorta stared him down, because I didn't know what was happening, and the situation was distracting the other kids. Well, I guess the trumpet felt bad about it, and came by my office after class to apologize. Clearly no wrong had been done, so I gave him a fist bump. I guess that's my ideal way to settle just about any situation.

I teach Middle and High School kids how to act like musicians even if they don't have the talent to actually be one. It's really fun, actually, and the kids get a lot out of it. It's a skill that you can use for the rest of your life, because let's face it, there are probably more things in life that we are not good at than things we do well, so being able to fake it is a huge skill.

I discovered that having a B.A. in Music from Tufts doesn't necessarily mean that someone will take you seriously. That's OK, though, because then I show them the dance move I invented called "The Jackhammer", and then I play "Stairway to Heaven" in 5 different keys. That's when they realize that I'm for real. That's when the small New England preperatory day schools come knocking at my door.

getting people to pay me to write songs about their pets, getting people to believe that if they take squash lessons with me they will one day be good enough to impress people so much that those people will even care what squash is.

is that my favorite politician in the world is the Dalai Lama. I'm not sure how they know that, but I think it has something to do with my blue eyes.

I long to watch Saved By The Bell re-runs.

You enjoy mocking well-established societal norms such as online profiles, gender roles, government policies...

You enjoy going out to dinner at Thai or Indian restaurants and convincing the owners to allow you to perform karaoke songs in their native languages.