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34 Milwaukee, WI Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–39
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My details

Last online
Jun 2
Demisexual, Straight
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from two-year college
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats
English, French (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
STR: 14 CON: 16 DEX: 10 INT: 13 WIS: 14 CHA: 3 (According to 4e rules, a level 5 Human Ranger can't have charisma below 3. Haven't tried 5e yet.)

Alright, I'll put this front and center so there's no surprises. I had a stroke a few years back, so I can't use my left side. I can't stress enough how important it is to be that you're aware I've got a slight disability. "When life throws a punch, son, you've got to take it on the chin."

I told you that so I can tell you this: Sure, I've been to hell and back, but I'm on th other side now. I made it, through and learned who I can and can't trust when shit goes pear shaped. Forgive me, but I don't have photos of me doing yoga on cliffs or beaches in exotic places because I had to live below my means during my late twenties and early thirties to take care of the debts that arose from that business. Life hasn't been fun for quite a while. I've got a really good job now, though, that I'm good at. I'm debt free and I want to start living a semi-normal life again. I get to take vacations again, I can afford nice clothes, a better car. There's a lot of things I can't do, but there's also a lot of things that I can do and I'd like to focus on that.

I haven't dated a lot in my time, having a stroke kind of destroyed my self confidence. I'm genuinely terrible at all this and I'm going to fuck it up, but I'm finally comfortable trying. I want to find someone that feels "fuck yes" about me and that I feel "fuck yes" about, as described in this article. Honestly, I don't know if that's even feasible as an ugly, geeky guy who had a stroke, but I guess I'd like to find out.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a desk rabbit in downtown Milwaukee where I fix things on computers because that's what I'm good at.

I volunteer with my neighborhood's co-ops, mostly the bookstore, whenever I can.

I had a cva about four years ago, google it if you're not a Paint It Black fan, and you'll find out why I'm unable to use my left hand. If that's off-putting, I understand. Believe me, I hate it, too. It sucks a whole lot, particularly as it pertains to this dating thing, but, much like the aforementioned Paint It Black, "I am invincible, I may bend, but I will not be broken."

I'm looking to travel again now that I've got a job that offers vacation. To that end, I'm boning up on my French so I can visit Quebec in the fall. I'm hoping to gorge myself on poutine, catch a Canadiens game, and eat at Garde Manger and Joe Beef. I'm going to go to Pastyfest in the U.P. in the summer, as well. I'd really like someone to travel with. I mean, I enjoy traveling alone, but I stayed at a bed and breakfast alone last year and I think it would have been a better experience with someone to share that giant soft bed or the claw foot tub with.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm good at cooking awesome food, losing, and getting lost.

And falling down. My cva made it so that my balance sucks and I've learned how to fall without severely injuring myself.

And apparently drunken spelling. I won a drunken spelling bee after 6 or 7 beers, some shots, and some champagne by spelling supercalifragilisticexpialidocious which I have trouble spelling even when sober.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I genuinely hope it's that I'm one damn ugly fucker. I think, though, people usually notice my wild hair, I always try to keep it all sticky uppy. Or that I'm ridiculously shy.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My favorite book ever is Catch 22. I tend, however, to read biographies or non-fiction. I just finished King Dork Approximately, which was a perfect follow-up to King Dork. My summer reading list is getting ridiculous since I bought a kindle recently, but includes Mary Roach's series of books and As You Wish by Cary Elwes because I love Princess Bride.

Movies: I don't like movie theaters, so I don't generally see movies there, but Netflix suggests a lot of documentaries and weird animated stuff like Mary and Max. I'm working my way through anime movies lately. I like studio Ghibli stuff. If you've got recommendations or something we could watch together, I'm all for it. Probably the coolest movie I've seen lately was The Taking of Deborah Logan. I also enjoy cheese horror, MST3K type stuff.

As far as television goes, I spend my work days in front of a screen, and I don't want to do that when I get home. If not watching television makes me boring, I apologize for wasting your time thus far, but it's not my thing. I did binge through Alpha House, though, because I like political humor.

Musicwise, I'm into orgcore punk rock(see: Menzingers, Dillinger Four) and folk punk(Andrew Jackson Jihad, Mischief Brew). My travel plans this year include going to Fest in Gainesville at the end of October. If you know what that is or are also going, I'd probably like to hear from you. We could be Fest friends. I identify as a punk rocker, but I work for a bank, which isn't very punk of me, so they've revoked my membership. I no longer have a license to punk.

Food: I'll eat just about anything. I'm teaching myself to like seafood right now. They tell me that if it's prepared correctly, it won't taste fishy. Turns out, for most of my life, it wasn't prepared correctly.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Anise toothpaste(Why did I only recently discover this? Where has it been my whole life?)
chef's knife
dutch oven
glasses(My vision is terrible and I'm extremely phobic about touching my eyes, so contacts are right out)
Books(You know that John Waters quote about making books cool again? I agree with him and will nope right out of there if there's no books in the house)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How dizzyingly awesome it might be to actually receive a message from someone on this site.
I've spent too much time trying to figure out how "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo" is a cromulent sentence in the English language. Seriously, wikipedia that.
Where do I want to live eventually? Quebec(My French is probably too shitty to make that happen) or Seattle or do I want to stay in Riverwest? Or do I want to buy a parcel of land, build a tiny house and grow and can vegetables(sounds beautiful, doesn't it?)
Am I making my deceased family proud? I worry that I'm not living up to their expectations and that they're watching me from some afterlife cloud, judging me harshly.
I also spend a lot of time thinking of my next weekend Linux project. What silly new thing do I want to spend untold hours on trying to make my computer work the way I want it to work?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Are the Admirals in town? I'm a season ticket holder now, so I'm at all the games, calling the opposing team's goalie a sieve. Lately, I've been hitting the gym post-work, and then doing "Date night with Tom" with myself at a taqueria or any place I've never been to for supper, then 42 lounge for some fun at the geek bar.
Once the season's over, Friday becomes "Date night with Tom". Because ain't no one tryina date me, I take myself out to a restaurant I haven't tried before or I get whatever wacky pizza of the week they have at Ian's and geek out at home with a movie or a book.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've convinced my best buddy that I'm a Jewish Canadian, a Canew, from Winnipeg. I know quite a bit about Winnipeg, the province of Manitoba, and being Jewish to keep up my ruse.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I have troubles with this. You should message me if I've piqued your interest, I guess, or if you want to call me an asshole. I'd prefer it if you say something besides "your hot"(Yes, I'm aware of the grammatical error. Are you?) If you're poly, I'm not interested. Nothing against you if you are, but I respect myself too much to play those reindeer games and there's nothing you can do to change that. I'm not your unicorn or whatever your nomenclature is.
Or if you want to do a dinner date type thing where we plan a meal, something a little complex and go to one of our places to make it. Or let's do one of those cooking classes at Sur La Table or where ever else they do them! I don't know if that sounds like a fun date to anyone, but I'd probably fall for you pretty hard if you wanted to cook together. I'd do the dishes, too!
Or if you want to do some drunken scrabble. Take note of that thing up there how I won a drunken spelling bee. Give me a couple doublewhiskeycokenoices and I become a wordsmith.