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34 Milwaukee, WI Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 26–43
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My details

Last online
Jul 26
Demisexual, Straight
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from two-year college
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats
English, French (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm glad using the delete key doesn't leave behind marks like when you try to erase pencil writing. If it did, this would look messier than it probably already does. So...

First off, there's the thing I've got to get out of the way. No, I'm not a divorcée with five kids. I'm a dude who had a stroke almost five years ago. As such, my left side is fucked askew. . I workout on the daily trying to get things back to some semblance of normalcy. The doctors say it's not likely to happen, but what do they know with their years or schooling? The Greeks would call this kind of futility a Hero's Trial. It might seem like I'm trying to make my struggle more epic than it is, but the guy who played Hercules had a stroke, too, and he gym ratted it up and didn't let it affect him.

Call me gimp. Call me a punk. Call me a geek. Call me a creeper. Call me ugly. Call me an asshole. Call me Ishmael. Actually, don't do that last one because I haven't read Moby Dick yet. I'm saving that one.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a desk rabbit in downtown Milwaukee where I fix things on computers because that's what I'm good at. Working in Active Directory doesn't require two hands, nor does replacing fried components.

I volunteer with my neighborhood's co-ops, mostly the bookstore, whenever I can.

I had a cva about four years ago, google it if you're not a Paint It Black fan, and you'll find out why I'm unable to use my left hand. If that's off-putting, I understand. Believe me, I hate it, too. It sucks a whole lot, particularly as it pertains to this dating thing, but, much like the aforementioned Paint It Black, "I am invincible, I may bend, but I will not be broken."

I started a container garden this year and it looks like my tomato plants might actually survive long enough to produce fruits! Maybe my thumb isn't as black as my heart!

I'm looking to travel again now that I've got a job that offers vacation. To that end, I'm boning up on my French so I can visit Quebec in the fall. I'm hoping to gorge myself on poutine, catch a Canadiens game, eat at Garde Manger and Joe Beef, meet Nadia G. or Chuck Hughes, and walk on the cobblestone streets after a fresh snowfall enjoying some Timbits.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm good at cooking awesome food, losing, and getting lost.

And falling down. My cva made it so that my balance sucks and I've learned how to fall without severely injuring myself.

And apparently drunken spelling. I won a drunken spelling bee after 6 or 7 beers, some shots, and some champagne by spelling supercalifragilisticexpialidocious which I have trouble spelling even when sober.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I genuinely hope it's that I'm one damn ugly fucker. I think, though, people usually notice my wild hair, I always try to keep it all sticky uppy. Or that I'm ridiculously shy.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My favorite book ever is Catch 22. I tend, however, to read biographies or non-fiction. I just finished King Dork Approximately, which was a perfect follow-up to King Dork. My summer reading list is getting ridiculous since I bought a kindle recently, but includes Mary Roach's series of books and As You Wish by Cary Elwes because I love Princess Bride.

As far as television goes, I spend my work days in front of a screen, and I don't want to do that when I get home, so I don't binge on Game of Cards. If not watching television makes me boring, I apologize for wasting your time thus far, but it's not my thing. I did binge through Alpha House, though, because I like political humor. My favorite thing, during the hockey season, it to stay in on a Saturday night with a pizza and watch Hockey Night in Canada while laughing at Don Cherry's intermission report.

Musicwise, I'm into orgcore punk rock(see: Menzingers, Dillinger Four) and folk punk(Andrew Jackson Jihad, Mischief Brew). My travel plans this year include going to Fest in Gainesville at the end of October. If you know what that is or are also going, I'd probably like to hear from you. We could be Fest friends. I identify as a punk rocker, but I work for a bank, which isn't very punk of me, so they've revoked my membership. I no longer have a license to punk. Most recently, I've been jamming pop-punk like the Bouncing Souls and Big D and the Kids Table style ska.

Food:I love it all! My next culinary project is to make California burritos. I've never had a proper San Diego one, but a burrito with carne asada beef, french fries, avocado, hot sauce, and cheese in it sounds like something I need in my mouth! Know where I can get one in Milwaukee? Once that's perfected, it'l be time to create the "Montreal burrito", substituting the cheese with cheese curds, adding gravy to the mix to make a poutine inside a tortilla. Diabolical, yes? I could use a test subject to taste all that... I like craft beers and my untappd profile reflects that. I keep my drinking within reason these days, though, because "beer gut" isn't a good look on me.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Anise toothpaste(Why did I only recently discover this? Where has it been my whole life?)
chef's knife
dutch oven
glasses(My vision is terrible and I'm extremely phobic about touching my eyes, so contacts are right out)
Books(You know that John Waters quote about making books cool again? I agree with him and will nope right out of there if there's no books in the house)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I've spent too much time trying to figure out how "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo" is a cromulent sentence in the English language. Seriously, wikipedia that.
Where do I want to live eventually? Quebec(My French is probably too shitty to make that happen) or Seattle or do I want to stay in Riverwest? Or do I want to buy a parcel of land, build a tiny house and grow and can vegetables(sounds beautiful, doesn't it?) I spend a lot of time daydreaming about that. Do I want a big condo with a rooftop garden or a tiny house with a dog and a victory garden yard?
Am I making my deceased family proud? I worry that I'm not living up to their expectations and that they're watching me from some afterlife cloud, judging me harshly.
I also spend a lot of time thinking of my next weekend Linux project. What silly new thing do I want to spend untold hours on trying to make my computer work the way I want it to work?
How different cultures see attractiveness. In the western world, women who tan are attractive because it means their lifestyle affords them the ability to sit around and get tan, whereas, in the east, being pale is attractive because it means you don't spend your time toiling away in the field. Ultimately, it seems it's about not being poor or being perceived as poor.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Are the Admirals in town? I'm a season ticket holder now, so I'm at all the games, calling the opposing team's goalie a sieve. Lately, I've been hitting the gym post-work, and then doing "Date night with Tom" with myself at a taqueria or any place I've never been to for supper, then 42 lounge for some fun at the geek bar.
Once the season's over, Friday becomes "Date night with Tom". Because ain't no one tryina date me, I take myself out to a restaurant I haven't tried before or I get whatever wacky pizza of the week they have at Ian's and geek out at home with a movie or a book.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've convinced my best buddy that I'm a Jewish Canadian, a Canew, from Winnipeg. I know quite a bit about Winnipeg, the province of Manitoba, and being Jewish to keep up my ruse.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I figure that if you've read this far, you know whether you want to message me or not and there's not much I can do to change that. If you're thinking about it, go for it! the worst that could happen is that I read it and nope right out of there. It's unlikely, but it's possible. Message away!

Of course, if you'd like to take a sur la table cooking class together or just cook awesome meals at each other's places, that could make me fall for you hard. There's your in!