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26 Asbury Park, NJ Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 19–30
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Dec 23
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Gemini, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from two-year college
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), French (Poorly), Japanese (Poorly), Other (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
"I'm pretty sure you're just a figment of our imaginations." My friend describing me.

Am I serious or joking? The answer is yes.

I'm of the philosophy that you think things out first and do them once, correctly, the first time.

Everyone says that I'm scary smart, but I don't really see it. To me it just seems like everyone else is just sitting around letting their brains atrophy. If I have seen farther, it is not because I'm standing on the shoulders of giants, but because I'm standing among midgets. Plus I'm interested in art, science, logic, and philosophy to the point of obsession. I could care less about material possessions, celebrities, or gossip.

I don't talk just to talk. I talk if I have something to say. Speaking is a slow, inefficient form of communication and I derive no enjoyment out of that type of masochism. Most things are self-evident if you have eyes and a brain. That being said, I'm not a silent weirdo and most people don't realize how much I despise talking until they've known me for years, if they notice at all. I constantly feel as if I'm being obnoxiously obvious while others are being incalculably ignorant. ex: I'm cooking something in the oven. You see me putting something in there. After a while, the timer starts going off. I go to the kitchen, put on oven mitts, and go to the oven. You are standing directly in front of the oven. You look at me with a blank, expectant look and don't move. WHY?! Why do I have to ask you to move? Do you not hear the sharp, ear-piercing beeping right behind you? Do you think I walk around wearing oven mitts because I like the way they look? What is so confusing about this situation? How do you not understand what's happening? Now imagine similar situations happening to you all of the time. Welcome to my life.

And while I may get frustrated, and while I may get annoyed, I never yell or stay angry for more than a few seconds. It's too silly to. Although I will mostly likely ask a smart-ass question if it happens too many times. Like walking into a room and asking you if the lights are on.

Basically everything I do or say is, in the end, an effort to get you to think. To be aware of your surroundings and yourself. I'm trying to jump-start the old thinking machine in your head you left off too long and can't find the ON switch to it anymore.

After reading up to this point, you may think, "Hey, this guy sounds like a dick." In which case you would totally be correct. But I am also equally the opposite. I'd do just about anything for those I care about. I don't really see the point of being mean. Being gentle and kind is just so much nicer for everyone. Even when I'm being a dick it's only because I'm trying to help you and you're being difficult.

For an introvert, I have a surprisingly massive amount of friends and acquaintances. I can hardly go anywhere without knowing pretty much everyone there. In the rare case I don't, give me a few hours and I'll be the most popular guy in the room. I don't know how I do it, nor do I try. It just ends up that way. I guess I'm simply universally loved. I like being loved. And feeling all that love only makes me happier, which makes people love me more. It's a viscous cycle.

The more I write, the more confusing I get. So yes, that is correct.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Trying not to die.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I have impeccable taste in all things. I'm at home in any environment. Put me in world-famous 5 star restaurant, and I'll display flawless etiquette, full knowledge of proper table settings, and pronounce dishes in their native tongue with a perfect accent. Put me in a cheap, cash-only bar that serves greasy burgers and I'll be slugging back whiskey shots and being just the right amount of loud and obnoxious. Put me in a room full of film nerds and I'll discuss the evolution of the modern film style and obscure cult classics like Harold and Maude and the set design in The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. I'll go on about music theory and the Gold standard, concepts of space-time, govt distribution of tax money, the education system, obscure theology, Dostoevsky, James Joyce, science-fiction, anime, Leadbelly, videogames, self-defense techniques, geometrodynamics, crafting, Paul Robeson, the deeper implications of human fear, spiritualism, etymology, biology, quantum physics, how cute animals are, anything at all.

But if you start talking about celebrities, gossip, or anything equally mind-numbing and I'll stare blankly at nothing.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Swyping people into oblivion.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I've never really understood this whole "hooking up" thing. It just looks like one big, stupid dance where everyone is constantly switching partners and no one is happy.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
breathing air.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You understand what i mean when i say i am the opposite of myself, and the exception to every rule. You want to play the 2 player levels of Portal 2 with me. Also if you're not planning on stabbing me. I feel like it's important to mention that. I'm not a big fan of being stabbed. I have a lot of important things inside me and I don't need some stabber mucking it all up in there.

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