By day, a mild-mannered writer for TV, books, and the stage. By night: defender of the realm, Hog Butcher for the World, finder of lost keys. I sing the body electric and rush in where others fear to tread except on weekends, national holidays, and Joey Bishop's birthday. Turn-ons: flowers, molybdenum, reruns of "Manimal"; Turn-offs: Sam Waterston, continental drift, people who don't use coasters.
update: 7/26/14: I certainly appreciate all the visits and messages from ladies in the Philippines, Malaysia, Russia, China, Guam, Thailand, Egypt, and the Congo. Since I have no plans to commute to any of those places for dating purposes, I hope you find some men who live, say, within two thousand miles of your present location.
update: 1/6/16: In the future, when someone sends me a message consisting, in its entirety, of "Hi," I will probably send one back consisting, in its entirety, of "And hi to you." Just so you know.
What I’m doing with my life
What am I doing with my life? (cut to me singing "Lookin' for Love
in All the Wrong Places" as animated cows dance by, followed by Roy
Clark who chuckles and says, "Here now, the Hager Twins!")
update: I feel that I should delete the Hager Twins reference out
of respect for the still-deceased Jon Hager but I just can't bring
myself to do it.
update to update: Jon Hager is still deceased and I'm still not
I’m really good at
avoiding questions about what I'm really good at
The first things people usually notice about me
The family of Gypsies epoxied to my stomach
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: John Grisham's The Horny Barrister, Chicken Soup for
Pederasts; Movies: Feel-Good Sam and His Basket of Kitties,
Repressed British Romance With Perfect Diction, Tyler Perry's
Family Abortion Party; Food: Sweet Tarts, bushbaby lungs in puff
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Do termites dream?
On a typical Friday night I am
poking transients with sharp sticks
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
see "On a typical Friday night I am"
You should message me if
any of this is even faintly amusing to you