I'd like to get married to someone I don't know at all (though we'd call it a "divorce" for the sake of completeness.) We could have the occasional fight, uninspired maintenance sex, arguments over dumb details, and debate whether it was a good idea to have separate apartments. As a bonus we can each have a "friend" who we pretend we aren't thinking about fucking. Doesn't that sound like fun?
Eventually we will move in together, spend a lot of time enjoying the company of one another, we'll buy each other flowers, and make surprise dinners and snuggle while watching our favorite movies.
After we have given that a fair shot, we'll go on a honeymoon somewhere pleasant, fuck until we bonk, stay naked for days on end eating sushi off one another, not caring that other people think we are ridiculous.
We'll finish the experiment with a divorce (which we'll call our marriage) and then finally a very nice dinner at a two-star restaurant (our first date.)
Then we'll never see one another again. If you decide to turn this into your phd thesis on constructed narrative/image versus emotional experience, or if you develop a movie treatment for the next great romantic comedy, I promise not to infringe your copyright.
- If you think this is a weird idea and you don't get it, we probably aren't going to get along so well.
- If you think its an amusing idea (if kinda cynical) well, I think so too.
- If you think it would be awesome to actually try it, I'm not being completely facetious.
And if you like that, ask me about the really terrible pornographic short stories I've written too!
If you prefer lists to the long form:
MANOWAR, nick cave/the birthday party, bathory, the pogues, swans, johnny cash, laibach, kraftwerk, billy bragg, malaria, einsturzende neubauten, plasmatics, yoko ono, leonard cohen, the slits, the great kat, public enemy, afrika bambaataa, p-funk, isley brothers, the shitty beatles, black sabbath, acid mothers temple, merzbow, serge gainsbourg, suicide, patti smith, the boredoms, sonny sharrock, captain beefheart, spearhead, the fugs, tom waits, DNA, brian eno, laurie anderson, crass, lee hazelwood, throbbing gristle, phil ochs, neu, pete seeger, negativland, mc chris, will oldham, jerry reed, blind willie johnson, red sovine, billy nayer show, faust, Henry Flynt, naked city, merle haggard, the anthology of american folk music, emmylou harris, bobby beausoleil, E.S.G., uv protection, antipop consortium, the raincoats, art ensemble of chicago, last exit, ennio morricone, sons of the pioneers, harry chapin, danzig, iced earth, mortician, peelander-z, donna summer, GWAR, marty robbins, john cage...
I have embarked on a project to collect everything on the nurse with wound list.
Tarkovsky's Stalker. The Telephone Book, The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, The Young Girls of Rochefort, The Revolution Will Not Be Televised, The Road Warrior, Death Race 2000, 2001, Rambo First Blood Part II, Shocking Dark, The Haunting (1969), The American Astronaut, Dead Alive, Annie Hall, Spinal Tap, Anvil: The Story of Anvil, American Movie, King of Kong, Alien, The Fountainhead, When We Were Kings, Lost in La Mancha, Once Upon A Time in the West, Wall-E, The Good The Bad and The Ugly, High Plains Drifter, Black Sheep (as in, zombie sheep!), Rope, Russian Ark, Satantango, If I Should Fall From Grace With God, Fitzcarraldo, The Thin Blue Line, Pumping Iron, Band of Outsiders, Fame, Alphaville, Metropolis, Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation, Children of God, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, Jodorowsky's Dune, The Lord of the Rings, On Any Sunday, Breaking Away, Better Off Dead, and anything set in NYC in the 70s.
Mostly, I have given up on novels. I just can't deal with the piles of cliches from which they are constructed. (Cliches which I see worming their way painfully into non-fiction as well.) It's just so hard to find fiction that is neither overwhelmingly pretentious nor mind-numbingly stupid. But The Book of the New Sun is a goddamn masterpiece. And then there is no escaping Blood Meridian. Sweet Jesus Cormac McCarthy, how did you do that?
If you have any other recommendations for stuff that might fit into that narrow range of rich and rewarding while still being a page-turner, I'd love to hear them.
Other books upon which I depend, or never wanted to leave:
The Ashley Book of Knots, The Man Who Mistook His Wife For a Hat, The Power Broker, Gravity's Rainbow (yes, I read it. It took me a year.), Les Miserables (I read the unabridged version, it took me a whole summer.), The Last Place On Earth, Goedel Escher Bach, A Pattern Language, Silence (John Cage - I read it cover to cover. Stupid me!), Keep the River on Your Right, The Watchmen (and everything else Alan Moore has written.) The Ants, Names on the Land, Bully for Brontosaurus, The Man Who Was Thursday, The Thousand-Mile War, Invisible Cities, Bound For Glory (Woody Guthrie), As I Lay Dying, Great Moments in Architecture, Confessions of the Guerrilla Girls, The Modernist City, Kon Tiki, Essence of Decision, The Social Life of Small Urban Spaces, The Gun, The Dark Knight Returns, The New Roadside America, Calvin and Hobbes, The Death and Life of Great American Cities...
The Venture Brothers and The Wire are the only two shows I will admit to unabashedly loving. And half my love of the Wire is my professional interest in cities, so The Venture Brothers is the only one that counts.
And Dwarf Fortress!
Hit me up if you'd like to thaw some words.