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Tosshi

32 M Houston, TX

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
A little extra
Diet
Anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Taurus, and it’s fun to think about
Education
University
Job
Other
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Has dogs
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I'm a lover El Ultimo tacos, a bit of a beer snob, and fan of Luchadeer. A native Houstonian (with tours in Toronto and DFW) that pines for the biting cold, and loathes humidity. I spend my free time gaming, reading, checking out art exhibits, finding the worst movies or best documentaries on Netflix, going out to a dive, and always checking for local festivals or events. I may have a shelf of Hellboy comics and stacks of games but that doesn't mean I'm afraid of the outdoors and socializing (my being ginger makes me afraid of sunlight, thank you much).

I grew up on a steady diet of Bill Hicks and Richard Pryor. My sense of humor and general outlook on life reflects this, but being cynical just isn't that much fun. I'd rather improve my life with new experiences, rather it's something small like a new beer or book, exploring side streets downtown, or planning a week long trip somewhere. I think it's extremely important to experience other people's cultures and perspectives. I think this is what Bill Hicks would have wanted.

Conan (Barbarian, not Ginger) was wrong. What is best in life is burgers.
What I’m doing with my life
Working on getting into shape again. I was a basketball player in school, and being sedentary isn't all it's cracked up to be. As of this update I'm down 75lbs and counting. I'm currently doing my second round of Insanity, but I've also done DDP Yoga. I look forward to being at my happy weight and doing yoga to maintain.

Slowly renovating my house. Color is way better than beige!

Planning a Lego Death Star construction to scale. So much better than a tree house.

Studying ways to make the world a better place via distribution of The Isley Brothers records.

I have always liked technology, but software is a mystery to me. I'm taking some programming courses at TXRX Labs, and teaching myself at home as well.

Not being the writer, archaeologist, or professional man of leisure that I envisioned as a kid, but making the best of it!

Planning a million trips I want to take such as hiking to the top of Mount Fuji, taking rail across Europe, or something simple like going camping in Lost Maples.

Daydreaming about zero calorie burgers.
I’m really good at
Making burgers. 3 star Michelin rated restaurant? Bet they don't have burgers.

Playing dominoes and talking copious amounts of shit.
The first things people usually notice about me
My ginger beard definitely attracts the most comments. Flattery will get you everywhere, ladies.

I'm overly verbose. I wanted to be a writer, and I guess that shows. Hopefully you just think I'm a solid conversationalist, and not a dude that likes the sound of his own voice.

That I probably invited you for a burger.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Food: Vegetables. That look and taste like burgers.

Authors: Neil Gaiman, Irvine Welsh, Alan Moore, Douglas Adams, Neal Stephenson, Terry Pratchett, Patrick Rothfuss, Michael Chabon, Warren Ellis and yes, I've read Game of Thrones.

Music: Faith No More, Nine Inch Nails, The Smiths, Soundgarden, Nirvana, Black Label Society, Tragically Hip, The Flaming Lips, Butthole Surfers, UGK, Alice In Chains, Foo Fighters, Gnarls Barkley, Gorillaz, Oasis, Primus, Prince, Arcade Fire, Regina Spektor, Action Bronson, Al Green, Zapp and Roger, Isley Brothers, Dante Higgins, Queens of the Stone Age, Phoenix, Big KRIT, The Cure, David Bowie, Queen, Feist, The Pixies, The Roots, Lorde, Metric, The Outfit TX

Movies: Lord of the Rings, True Romance, Children of Men, The Godfather, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, The Killer, Hard Boiled, Fight Club, Shaun of the Dead, In Bruges, Seven Samurai, Stardust, There Will Be Blood, Chinatown, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Running Scared, I Saw The Devil, Old Boy, Pusher Trilogy, Bronson, Heat, Tombstone, 13 Assassins

Directors: Michael Mann, Terry Gilliam, Francis Ford Coppola, Stanley Kubrick, Park Chan-Wook, Danny Boyle, PT Anderson, Takashi Miike, Rian Johnson, Edgar Wright

TV: House, Boondocks, Sopranos, The Wire, Rome, The Office (UK), Extras, Treme, Sons of Anarchy, Justified, Arrested Development, Deadwood, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Wilfred, Parks and Rec, Community, Justified, Veep, Black Books, Spaced, Orange Is The New Black, Luther, Sherlock
The six things I could never do without
1. Twitter, the ultimate time waster and communication tool. It's very contrarian.
2. Subreddits filled with pictures of dogs
3. Burgers and irresponsibly large Hickory Hollow chicken fried steak
4. Houston food scene. Please don't eat at Chili's and Olive Garden, people.
5. Spartacus, my overly attached dog
6. Nights spent cooking a new recipe and watching super dumb movies on Netflix
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Write-ins for Cards Against Humanity. The less obviously twisted ones usually turn out the best. I even have The Bigger Blacker Box. I bought a damn cardboard box. I am not a smart man.

Which is my favorite Simpsons quote: "Purple Monkey Dishwasher" or "Sorry it's not in packages."

The dark and meaningless existence I led prior to Frank's Red Hot.

The day I hit my goal weight, create a hobo fire with all my old clothes, and then go on an epic wardrobe replacement shopping spree.

Batman. Just in general.
On a typical Friday night I am
Playing Cards Against Humanity and drinking some beer. Sitting at home watching movies or playing games. Going to Hans' to play bocce ball, Calvinball edition. Taking my dog to The Boneyard. Tracking down food trucks all over town. Playing tourist.

I may or may not have spent a number of Friday nights at a trampoline gym digging myself out of the foam pit.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm hopelessly addicted to HGTV/DIY Channels.

I cannot dance, at all. I lack any sense of rhythm. You're welcome to give me lessons, but take out an insurance policy on your ankles and toes. Can't whistle either.

I judge people based on the creativity of their cursing. Think "In The Loop."

I find urban exploration infinitely appealing, and almost romantic...but I am far too much a puss to ever try.

Absolutely nothing makes me as happy as a day on a patio with a beer and burger, while it's cool in the shade and warm in the sun.

I don't change the song if something from Prince's Batman soundtrack comes up on shuffle.

I post nothing to Facebook but dog gifs.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 24–40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
We share a burger fetish.

You should message me if you like to stay up all night talking about life, the universe, and everything. Or if you'd like to try and make a Pangalactic Gargle Blaster! You want to make really lame #hashtag jokes. You think Hank Scorpio is the ultimate Simpsons character, or prefer the "Tomacco" episode over "Monorail." You'll hold impromptu Queen karaoke in the car with me; light on Bohemian Rhapsody, heavy on Killer Queen. You like basketball. You won't make fun of my sneaker fetish.

If you don't take yourself too seriously. Life is absurd. We should be laughing at it. You know what you want, and are able to use your words. You find the equal appeal in sitting on the couch together just being complete bums as finding new adventures.