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34 Houston, TX Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 24–42
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
Relationship Type
5' 11" (1.80m)
Body Type
A little extra
Atheism and laughing about it
Doesn’t have kids and doesn’t want them
Has dogs
English (Fluently), Spanish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a lover of El Ultimo tacos, appreciative of the absurd, and fan of Luchadeer. A native Houstonian (with tours in Toronto and DFW) that pines for the biting cold, and loathes humidity. I spend my free time gaming, reading, checking out art exhibits, finding the worst horror movies or best documentaries, or going out to a dive. I'm always checking for local events; a small game night or a cultural festival are equally appealing. I may have a shelf of Hellboy comics and ridiculous Steam backlog, but that doesn't mean I'm afraid of the outdoors and socializing (my being ginger makes me afraid of sunlight, thank you much).

I grew up on a steady diet of Bill Hicks and Richard Pryor. My sense of humor and general outlook on life reflects this; that cynicism has its place but opening yourself to how fucking cool the world is? Much better. I improve my life with new experiences. Something as simple as a new bar or book, exhilarating as exploring a new city, or annoying as learning how to insulate my attic (not recommended) are equally rewarding. I think it's extremely important to experience other people's cultures and perspectives and I make an effort to do so. All in all, I consider myself a really hoopy frood.

Currently on my Halloween countdown. Not just because I love scary movies and chocolate, but Halloween means I can start wearing sweaters again!

I've been through it all, and I finally know what I want in life: the last battle Tetris opponent I will ever need.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm not a gym rat, but I run. I lift. I play basketball. I don't take gym selfies for my dating profile. I've lost 80lbs and I will lose about 50 more. I love my couch and junk food dearly, but I need a healthy amount of activity in my life. Wanna go to a rock gym?

Being irrationally upset that Broad City isn't streaming on Amazon Instant anymore.

Slowly renovating my house. I'm working on getting art on the walls right now, and would love local artist/shops recommendations.

I've been tinkering with learning programming. I wrote a text adventure!

Planning a million trips I want to take such as hiking Mount Fuji, taking rail across Europe, or camping in Lost Maples.

Conan, what is best in life? To crush your burgers, to see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of McDonald's. (I really love burgers and I try not to go a month without trying a new one)
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Playing dominoes and talking copious amounts of shit.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I mean, I've got this big beard. 18 years strong!

I'm overly verbose. I wanted to be a writer, but hate editing. Hopefully I come off more as an enthusiastic storyteller/listener and less a dude that loves the sound of his own voice.

That I invited you for burgers.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Food: All of it. Except mushrooms, pickles, and olives. Oh and pimento cheese. Bleh.

Authors: American Gods is the novel I can always return to. The Hobbit was the most formative book of my youth. Terry Pratchett and Patrick Rothfuss keep my childlike wonder honest. Neal Stephenson may be my favorite person in the world for naming a character "Hiro Protagonist." I am ashamed to not have read all the Douglas Adams works.

Music: UGK, Run The Jewels, Faith No More, and Alice in Chains are my Mount Rushmore of music. If there was a fifth president on Rushmore then I would probably add Marvin Gaye or Zapp & Roger. I'm always months (OK, years sometimes) behind on new stuff. Killer Mike and El-P kind of spoiled all other music for me. I wish Action Bronson would drop 150lbs so I don't have to be worried about him dropping from a heart attack. Doolittle is a damn near perfect album. Freddie Mercury is the greatest vocalist ever, but Mike Patton gives him a run for the money.

Movies: I once reworked the opening scene to The Godfather as a monologue for a theater class project. A perfect night includes at least two Tombstone quotes. Edgar Wright is my cinematic muse. I believe Korea in the last 15 years rivals America in the 70s for outstanding film output. I appreciate cheesy horror and action films on the same level as cinematic keystones.

TV: The Wire is my favorite show ever. Yeah, I'm one of those. Community kind of went off the rails, but those first two seasons were magic. I really miss new episodes of House. I will take Orange Is The New Black over House of Cards a million times. If you made me choose between Wire Idris Elba or Luther Idris Elba I would pout and refuse to play. I wish those first two seasons of The Boondocks were widely recognized as being the brilliant satire they are. I mix up Orphan Black and Black Mirror, but both are incredible.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Spartacus, my overly attached ginger pup
2. Twitter, my social media (and time waster) of choice
3. Afternoons spent browsing stores for renovation/design ideas
4. Houston food/drink scene, in particular irresponsibly large Hickory Hollow chicken fried steak and Bernie's Homeroom burger
5. Topo Chico, like, a LOT of Topo Chico
6. Nights spent digging into the depths of micro-budget horror flicks and cooking something new
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Write-ins for Cards Against Humanity that would make my mother very disappointed or very proud in how she raised me.

Whether my favorite Simpsons quote is; "Purple Monkey Dishwasher" or "Sorry it's not in packages."

How to find more runners to smuggle Yuengling and Entenmann's to me.

Recreating the Endor treehouses in my backyard.

Going on a paid paleontology dig to live out my childhood fantasies.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
So previously this would be a list of my favorite watering holes (D&T, Grand Prize, Julep, Cecil's, etc) that I find myself at but I am currently cutting back on drinking severely in order to hit my weight goal by end of the year. So it's a whole lot of gaming and catching up on DVR while I stupidly practice discipline.

I may or may not have spent a number of Friday nights at a trampoline gym digging myself out of the foam pit.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm a sucker for a well deployed thigh tattoo.

I'm hopelessly addicted to HGTV/DIY Channels.

I cannot dance, at all. I lack any sense of rhythm. Can't whistle either.

I don't change the song if something from Prince's Batman soundtrack comes up on shuffle.

I don't own a single pair of plain white socks. #sockgamestrong
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to cuss and discuss over burgers. You want to make really lame #hashtag jokes. You think Hank Scorpio is the greatest Simpsons guest character, or prefer the "Tomacco" episode over "Monorail." You'll hold impromptu car karaoke, perhaps Queen or you can be the El-P to my Killer Mike. You'll attend NBA games with me, and happily scream at the refs even when they're right. You don't have a militant opinion concerning the Oxford comma. If you'd sit upon the Famicom throne in Akihabara. You want to go eat something neither of us can pronounce. You miss Christmas lights before the holidays are even over.

Limited time offer: haunted houses! Do you love them? I do! If you think a haunted house is a great date, definitely say hi!