Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a lover of El Ultimo tacos, appreciative of the absurd, and fan
of Luchadeer. A native Houstonian (with tours in Toronto and DFW)
that pines for the biting cold, and loathes humidity. I spend my
free time gaming, reading, checking out art exhibits, finding the
worst horror movies or best documentaries, or going out to a dive.
I'm always checking for local events; a small game night or a
cultural festival are equally appealing. I may have a shelf of
Hellboy comics and ridiculous Steam backlog, but that doesn't mean
I'm afraid of the outdoors and socializing (my being ginger makes
me afraid of sunlight, thank you much).
I grew up on a steady diet of Bill Hicks and Richard Pryor. My
sense of humor and general outlook on life reflects this; that
cynicism has its place but opening yourself to how fucking cool the
world is? Much better. I improve my life with new experiences.
Something as simple as a new bar or book, exhilarating as exploring
a new city, or annoying as learning how to insulate my attic (not
recommended) are equally rewarding. I think it's extremely
important to experience other people's cultures and perspectives
and I make an effort to do so. All in all, I consider myself a
really hoopy frood.
I've been through it all, and I finally know what I want in life:
the last battle Tetris opponent I will ever need.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm not a gym rat, but I run. I lift. I play basketball. I don't
take gym selfies for my dating profile. I've lost 80lbs and I will
lose about 50 more. I love my couch and junk food dearly, but I
need a healthy amount of activity in my life. Wanna go to a rock
Being irrationally upset that Broad City isn't streaming on Amazon
Slowly renovating my house. I'm working on getting art on the walls
right now, and would love local artist/shops recommendations.
I've been tinkering with learning programming. I wrote a text
Planning a million trips I want to take such as hiking Mount Fuji,
taking rail across Europe, or camping in Lost Maples.
Conan, what is best in life? To crush your burgers, to see them
driven before you, and hear the lamentations of McDonald's. (I
really love burgers and I try not to go a month without trying a
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Playing dominoes and talking copious amounts of shit.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I mean, I've got this big beard. 18 years strong!
I'm overly verbose. I wanted to be a writer, but hate editing.
Hopefully I come off more as an enthusiastic storyteller/listener
and less a dude that loves the sound of his own voice.
That I invited you for burgers.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Food: All of it. Except mushrooms, pickles, and olives. Oh and
pimento cheese. Bleh.
Authors: American Gods is the novel I can always return to. The
Hobbit was the most formative book of my youth. Terry Pratchett and
Patrick Rothfuss keep my childlike wonder honest. Neal Stephenson
may be my favorite person in the world for naming a character "Hiro
Protagonist." I am ashamed to not have read all the Douglas Adams
Music: UGK, Run The Jewels, Faith No More, and Alice in Chains are
my Mount Rushmore of music. If there was a fifth president on
Rushmore then I would probably add Marvin Gaye or Zapp & Roger.
I'm always months (OK, years sometimes) behind on new stuff. Killer
Mike and El-P kind of spoiled all other music for me. I wish Action
Bronson would drop 150lbs so I don't have to be worried about him
dropping from a heart attack. Doolittle is a damn near perfect
album. Freddie Mercury is the greatest vocalist ever, but Mike
Patton gives him a run for the money.
Movies: I once reworked the opening scene to The Godfather as a
monologue for a theater class project. A perfect night includes at
least two Tombstone quotes. Edgar Wright is my cinematic muse. I
believe Korea in the last 15 years rivals America in the 70s for
outstanding film output. I appreciate cheesy horror and action
films on the same level as cinematic keystones.
TV: The Wire is my favorite show ever. Yeah, I'm one of those.
Community kind of went off the rails, but those first two seasons
were magic. I really miss new episodes of House. I will take Orange
Is The New Black over House of Cards a million times. If you made
me choose between Wire Idris Elba or Luther Idris Elba I would pout
and refuse to play. I wish those first two seasons of The Boondocks
were widely recognized as being the brilliant satire they are. I
mix up Orphan Black and Black Mirror, but both are incredible.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Spartacus, my overly attached ginger pup
2. Twitter, my social media (and time waster) of choice
3. Afternoons spent browsing stores for renovation/design
4. Houston food/drink scene, in particular irresponsibly large
Hickory Hollow chicken fried steak and Bernie's Homeroom
5. Topo Chico, like, a LOT of Topo Chico
6. Nights spent digging into the depths of micro-budget horror
flicks and cooking something new
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Write-ins for Cards Against Humanity that would make my mother very
disappointed or very proud in how she raised me.
Whether my favorite Simpsons quote is; "Purple Monkey Dishwasher"
or "Sorry it's not in packages."
How to find more runners to smuggle Yuengling and Entenmann's to
Recreating the Endor treehouses in my backyard.
Going on a paid paleontology dig to live out my childhood
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
So previously this would be a list of my favorite watering holes
(D&T, Grand Prize, Julep, Cecil's, etc) that I find myself at
but I am currently cutting back on drinking severely in order to
hit my weight goal by end of the year. So it's a whole lot of
gaming and catching up on DVR while I stupidly practice
I may or may not have spent a number of Friday nights at a
trampoline gym digging myself out of the foam pit.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm a sucker for a well deployed thigh tattoo.
I'm hopelessly addicted to HGTV/DIY Channels.
I cannot dance, at all. I lack any sense of rhythm. Can't whistle
I don't change the song if something from Prince's Batman
soundtrack comes up on shuffle.
I don't own a single pair of plain white socks. #sockgamestrong
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to cuss and discuss over burgers. You want to make really
lame #hashtag jokes. You think Hank Scorpio is the greatest
Simpsons guest character, or prefer the "Tomacco" episode over
"Monorail." You'll hold impromptu car karaoke, perhaps Queen or you
can be the El-P to my Killer Mike. You'll attend NBA games with me,
and happily scream at the refs even when they're right. You don't
have a militant opinion concerning the Oxford comma. If you'd sit
upon the Famicom throne in Akihabara. You want to go eat something
neither of us can pronounce. You miss Christmas lights before the
holidays are even over.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.