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Tosshi

33 M Houston, TX

My Details

Last Online
Today – 6:26pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
A little extra
Diet
Anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Taurus, and it’s fun to think about
Education
University
Job
Other
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Has dogs
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I'm a lover El Ultimo tacos, a bit of a beer snob, and fan of Luchadeer. A native Houstonian (with tours in Toronto and DFW) that pines for the biting cold, and loathes humidity. I spend my free time gaming, reading, checking out art exhibits, finding the worst movies or best documentaries on Netflix, or going out to a dive. I'm always checking for local festivals or events, a small game night or a massive cultural festival are equally appealing. I may have a shelf of Hellboy comics and ridiculous Steam backlog, but that doesn't mean I'm afraid of the outdoors and socializing (my being ginger makes me afraid of sunlight, thank you much).

I grew up on a steady diet of Bill Hicks and Richard Pryor. My sense of humor and general outlook on life reflects this, but being cynical just isn't that much fun. I'd rather improve my life with new experiences. It can be something small like a new beer or book, exploring side streets downtown, not just globetrotting plans. I think it's extremely important to experience other people's cultures and perspectives. I think this is what Bill Hicks would have wanted.

Conan (Barbarian, not Ginger) was wrong. What is best in life is burgers.
What I’m doing with my life
Working on getting into shape again. I was a basketball player in school, and being sedentary isn't all it's cracked up to be. As of this update I'm down 75lbs and counting. I'm currently doing my second round of Insanity, but I've also done DDP Yoga. I look forward to being at my happy weight and doing yoga to maintain.

Slowly renovating my house. Amazing what replacing beige walls with bright paint will do for a place.

Planning a Lego Death Star construction to scale. So much better than a tree house.

I've been tinkering with learning programming. I wrote a text adventure!

Planning a million trips I want to take such as hiking to the top of Mount Fuji, taking rail across Europe, or something simple like going camping in Lost Maples.

Daydreaming about zero calorie burgers.
I’m really good at
Playing dominoes and talking copious amounts of shit.
The first things people usually notice about me
My ginger beard definitely attracts the most comments. I have no problem with this.

I'm overly verbose. I wanted to be a writer, but hate editing. Hopefully I don't come off as a dude that likes the sound of his own voice.

That I invited you for burgers.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Food: All of it. Except mushrooms, pickles, and olives.

Authors: American Gods is my favorite book. The Hobbit was the most formative book of my youth. Terry Pratchett and Patrick Rothfuss keep my childlike wonder honest. Neal Stephenson may be my favorite person in the world for naming a character "Hiro Protagonist."

Music: Faith No More, Alice in Chains, and UGK are my Mount Rushmore of music. I'm always months (OK, years sometimes) behind on new stuff unless we're talking local rap. If you hang out with me you'll find lots of quality local rap beyond Chopped and Screwed. Doolittle may be the perfect album. Freddy Mercury is the greatest vocalist ever, but Mike Patton gives him a run for the money.

Movies: I once reworked the opening scene to The Godfather as a monologue for a theater class project. A perfect night includes quoting Tombstone. Edgar Wright is my spirit animal. Korea in the last 15 years may rival America in the 70s for outstanding creative output.

TV: The Wire is obviously the greatest show ever. Community kind of went off the rails, but those first two seasons were magic. I really miss new episodes of House. I will take Orange Is The New Black over House of Cards a million times. If you made me choose between Wire Idris Elba or Luther Idris Elba I would pout and refuse to play. I wish those first two seasons of The Boondocks were widely recognized as being the brilliant satire they are.
The six things I could never do without
1. Twitter, the ultimate time waster and communication tool all in one
2. Spartacus, my overly attached dog
3. Burgers and irresponsibly large Hickory Hollow chicken fried steak
4. Houston food scene
5. Topo Chico, like, a LOT of Topo Chico
6. Nights spent cooking and watching really terrible movies on Netflix
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Write-ins for Cards Against Humanity that would make my mother very disappointed in how she raised me.

What my favorite Simpsons quote is; "Purple Monkey Dishwasher" or "Sorry it's not in packages."

The dark and meaningless existence I led prior to Frank's Red Hot.

Batman. Just in general.

Going on one of the paid paleontologist digs to live out my childhood fantasies.
On a typical Friday night I am
Playing Cards Against Humanity and drinking some beer. Going to Hans' to play bocce ball, Calvinball edition. Sitting on a patio at D&T or Grand Prize. Taking my dog to The Boneyard. Tracking down food trucks all over town. Playing tourist in my own town.

Every other Friday night is spent in brief recovery from a hard day's labor at my dad's horse ranch. Once rejuvenation is complete the night may begin.

I may or may not have spent a number of Friday nights at a trampoline gym digging myself out of the foam pit.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm hopelessly addicted to HGTV/DIY Channels.

I cannot dance, at all. I lack any sense of rhythm. Can't whistle either.

I have several beauty products dedicated to the care of my beard.

I don't change the song if something from Prince's Batman soundtrack comes up on shuffle.

I don't own a single pair of plain white socks.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 24–40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You want to cuss and discuss over burgers. You want to make really lame #hashtag jokes. You think Hank Scorpio is the ultimate Simpsons character, or prefer the "Tomacco" episode over "Monorail." You'll hold impromptu car karaoke, perhaps Queen or the entirety of Doolittle. You'll attend NBA games with me, and happily scream at the refs even when they're right.

If you don't take yourself too seriously. Life is absurd. We should be laughing at it. You find the equal appeal in sitting on the couch together just being complete bums as finding new experiences.