I was at a local pub last night and offered my seat at the bar to some girls who were having trouble getting the bartender's attention. They acted like I just saved a baby from a burning building or something. It's a shame that random acts of kindness from guys are such a rare novelty to women in the DC area :(

I like the tests here...and I LOVE talking to people on here. One thing I've noticed though that's different from my previous time on the site: quickmatch and other match techniques cover a much smaller geographic area than they used to. Even when you choose "anywhere" you don't get a ton of great matches. This is why I've been looking at the photo update events on the front page. There's one thing I have noticed though, and it's that some pictures are a little TOO perfect...and I finally realized the reason.

They're FAKE

Now you're thinking, "but Totter that's obvious!" but hear me out. The girls who have these pics claim to be models, fair enough - models might come on this site. In fact, there are some very nice real ones that do. These girls on the other hand can be identified by the fact that they usually have no questions answered, and often no information on their profiles. Additionally, they have 1 picture up at a time, all looking a little too perfect.

Okay, so why are they fake? Well IM such a girl, talk to her for a bit. The first thing you'll notice is that they start calling you "hun" or "hon" waaay too quickly. The second thing you'll notice is that they're spelling and overall English isn't quite what it would be normally...not like someone from the areas they usually claim to be from. Next, they will ask you to chat on Yahoo. Yes, Yahoo, always Yahoo, never AIM. AIM is for real girls and Yahoo is for these people. I have both and I have 2 friends on Yahoo and 122 on AIM.

So when you're on Yahoo with your new friend you will be treated to some light discussion, some "get to know you" stuff. Then the fun begins. They will ask you for a favor, or for help, or for some such nonsense. To which you'll go "yeah sure what do you need" or some nice thing. They will then reply, "well I would love it if you go on my site and rate me" and they send you a link to a porno site. By being actually nice to one (no not nice by signing up and "rating" them or whatever, just by being myself) I got one (she must be new) to admit that she was lying to me and say she's from the Philippines and that this is what she does for a living.

While that's a sad story, fraud is fraud. I decided I had to mess with them...ALL OF THEM. So now when I come to OKC and see one of these, I IM these people and look up where they claim to be from, ask them purposefully incorrect questions about the cities they are from (thank you Google Maps) then catch them in the act.

For example: some girl claiming to be from Garden City, Kansas was on the site. I IMed her and engaged her in some fun banter. I mean, being from the Midwest the girl should be as American as they come, but this girl barely spoke English at all. I let her lead me to Yahoo then went in for the kill. I asked the girl about the Navy base in Garden City (there is none...it's KANSAS.) A person from that area would say "there isn't a Navy base silly there's an airport!) but she was like "yes there's a Navy base." I told her I caught her and that she should leave the site.

She was pretty ticked. However, I believe that finding these people and weeding them out will make the site just a bit safer for those of us actually on to meet people. Now if we could only get rid of the weirdos that freak the girls out...

I don't know if anyone is going to read this, but apparently if I do this my new profile will be 75% complete so here goes:

ahem

Since I've been back on the site (I used to have another profile a while back before I was in the relationship that just ended) I have noticed an alarming amount of what are considered "Myspace Angles." What are these you may ask? I will refer you to this article as a primer:

http://www.officialdatingresource.com/beware-the-dreaded-myspace-angles-pics/

Did you see it? No? I'll wait...

Okay good. Now, as a guy who has a profile posted on a site like OKC, this is a very real concern. I understand that many people create their profile pics at their computer with their built in webcam, but in a medium where people set up dates with only images and text, it would be kind of nice to know what someone really looks like. In a way, this IS like blind dating, yet at the same time there are pictures. From what I understand, lots of guys do this as well.

Imagine (this is for both men and women) if you were at a bar and you were talking to a really attractive person and you got their phone number. You wait the required 2 days (the industry standard, but I think 3 days is money - points to whoever recognizes that reference) and call. When you set up the date someone who you don't find especially attractive shows up in their place and explains that they hire a model to go to bars, act like them, and pick up dates. What would you do?

That's what Myspace Angles do.

So, ladies and gentlemen, I implore you. Include a body shot.