bi-sexual, (1.8-ish on the kinsey scale) switch (almost exclusively dominant with women but still flexible and tend to be submissive with men) male. I was introduced to polyamory 13 years ago and have been more deeply exploring alternative sexuality in the Bay Area for the past 10 years. I more identify with creating "openly defined" relationships rather than polyamory. I am personally attracted to the model of having one deeply committed partner and then integrating our lovers into the partnership but still having openness and fluidity within that ideal structure. However I'm currently transitioning out of a partnership of the last two years and plan on openly dating for a long while.
I have a very high standard and commitment to the intention of always being able to return to a place of friendship if a romantic/sexual relationship isn't serving or working anymore. This fundamentally means staying committed to finding the most appropriate relationship which could also mean ending a partnership but still staying lovers. It is important that whomever I get deeply involved with is willing to live up to this commitment and work through whatever needs to get resolved to be able to get back to a place of friendship or find the most appropriate relationship. Because of this value and standard, I am close friends with a past partner, occasionally reconnect with other past partners as friends, in and out of being sexual with a lover of 7-8 years, been regular lovers with woodnympho for the past 5 years and will am in flux with my recent partnership that is in transition but staying in close connection.
With all of my lovers and partners of the past 7-8 years I've explored kink, D/s dynamics. My desire to delve deeper into those dynamics and exploration is getting stronger. As a Dom I'm both very loving, kind and patient but firm, direct, demanding and know what I want. I'm also open and flexible, enjoying meeting my sub where they're at while still getting what I want out of it. I enjoy introducing individuals to BDSM by making it more light and playful, as it doesn't have to be this serious and intense thing. As I often say, when I bring up BDSM and people say "oh, I'm not into that stuff!" I respond with "well, do you enjoy being nibbled on your neck, having your nipples pinched, hair pulled or being held down?" and they're normally like "oh yeah, I like most of those things" and I say "well to me that all falls under BDSM, there's just a wide spectrum". In addition, even though I lean towards rough play and BDSM it doesn't mean that I can't be adaptable and play with people in other ways as I enjoy a wide spectrum of sensuality and sexuality.
Some of favorite activities include any combination of the following; dance (especially contact improv), yoga, massage (giving and receiving), acrosage (massaging someone while lifting them off the ground with your feet), dolphin dance (contact improv in water), soaking in hotsprings, hanging out on the beach (especially tropical), being in nature, intentional journeys through medicinal substances (ayahuasca, peyote, etc.), less intentional recreational drug induced adventures, self-improvement/exploration classes/workshops, cuddling, passionate kissing, wrestling (one of my fav!!), mind blowing sex (everything from the sacred to the profane), playing with kink (BDSM, ropes, roleplays, fantasies, etc.), threesomes/foursomes, play parties and anything adventurous.