I had an adolescence that lasted eighteen years. While my peers went to college or started raising kids, I completed my eight-year degree plan in Uniformed Thuggery and Imperialism. Wait, wait-- that's all wrong. I was in the Army throughout most of Clinton's tenure, so I guess I was actually a kind, gentle, socially aware peacekeeper. I was also, interpretation notwithstanding, a passing fine janitor-- a daring leader of janitors, by the end of it. I missed 11SEP01 by six weeks. By then I was toasting sandwiches at Quizno's. If only I'd listened to SSG Jones about staying in shape, I could have been shot at, just like him. O, the humanity.
Fear not; I grew out my hair and got a real job. I run a smallish retail outlet of an 86-year-old craft and DIY company. I'm really good at it, too. It involves everything from teaching to stewardship to haggling. I deal with everyone from the devout to the depraved, the sane to the deranged. I have a blast, every day. I get paid decently to do it. I guess I've got that job thing under control. Odd, really, but it's part of my proof that God's got my back, though She's got a really fucked up sense of humor. At least She's good at Skee-Ball. BTW I hear Ahura Mazda totally digs Paki-style cricket. If only we could find a decent hobby for Allah(May He Seek Therapy), the Bored and Petulant.
I game with funny-shaped dice. I practice Transcendental Marksmanship. I brag about having once been a half-assed swordsman. I enjoy singing well. I play guitar very poorly, but it's only been two months. I love living-history, pop-culture, self-reliance, and rebellion by way of snarky comments. I'm very introspective. I think too much. I quit all the things that were bad for me, like the militaryand drugs.
PS Someday I'll be wealthy by my own hand. I'm already nearly comfortable. I don't want to boast, but it's a novel experience for me. Yay, security!
I am the luckiest, bastard, and on earth